I am kind of glad that I didn’t have access to the internet when the story of Pastor Ted Haggard broke. It gave me time to really absorb the magnitude of what was happening. And each time I’d think that the story could not get any worse, the slow drip of yet another ugly detail would just exacerbate the horror and chip away another chunk of the façade that Pastor Ted had so meticulously built over the years.
I cannot describe the range of emotions coursing through my body watching this slow-motion horror story play out. One minute it was revulsion, the next rage, then disgust, then sorrow, and finally pity. And in the end it is pity that Pastor Ted deserves. His denial, self-loathing, and willingness to live the mother of all lies ultimately brought him to his knees (and not to praise the Lord) and devastated his family.
There has been so much hypocrisy among the high and mighty these past few years that my rage sometimes threatens to eat me alive. As long as there are Pastor Teds in this world, we will continue to see stories like his unfold. I take no pleasure in watching these tortured souls and profound hypocrites fall because I know that there will always be a ready supply of hateful bigots waiting in the wings for their chance to capitalize and profit handsomely from preaching hate. And sure enough, the dust hasn’t even settled yet, but Pastor Ted’s heir apparent has already been chosen. Because we all know the
show must go on word of God must be spread.
Pastor Ted, and the many that have fallen from grace before him, have proven that careers built upon hypocrisy and lies can crumble without much notice. And it is truly a long fall down when it happens. But now he can join the ranks of those he so successfully dehumanized and vilified. And he can now experience first-hand the fruits of all the hate he has sown over the years.
May God have more mercy on him than he had on those he chose to condemn. And may he someday find the peace he worked his whole life to deny others.