Ahhhhhh bummer, Newty is taking his ball and going home

Ok, I confess, I was really looking forward to the mother of all “Family Values” hypocrites running for the Republican nomination for President. It would have been a complete hoot listening to this thrice married adulterer get up there and preach to us about how he is going to restore honor to the White House and make Family Values the focus of his campaign. But my excitement was very short-lived, I heard the bad news today.

Gingrich rules out run for president:

Two days after hinting he wanted to try for the White House, former House Speaker Newt Gingrich decided he would not run for president, his spokesman said Saturday.

[…]

Gingrich told supporters in Marietta, Georgia, on Thursday that if they pledged at least $30 million to his campaign over a three-week period starting Monday, he would compete for the Republican nomination.

I guess he chickened out. And I guess I don’t blame him. I mean who’d want to expose themselves to this kind of heat again:

[T]he most notorious of them all is undoubtedly Gingrich, who ran for Congress in 1978 on the slogan, "Let Our Family Represent Your Family." (He was reportedly cheating on his first wife at the time). In 1995, an alleged mistress from that period, Anne Manning, told Vanity Fair's Gail Sheehy: "We had oral sex. He prefers that modus operandi because then he can say, 'I never slept with her.'" Gingrich obtained his first divorce in 1981, after forcing his wife, who had helped put him through graduate school, to haggle over the terms while in the hospital, as she recovered from uterine cancer surgery. In 1999, he was disgraced again, having been caught in an affair with a 33-year-old congressional aide while spearheading the impeachment proceedings against President Clinton.

See why I was getting all excited? Who could ask for more excitement than this?

Buh-bye Newty, it was fun while it lasted.