Thursday, August 05, 2010

Focusing on the loving people in my life - and there are many

I have spared readers of this blog no details on the pain one of my 4 brothers has caused me and my family as he made his transition from a man who abused alcohol to a man who now abuses religion. But I feel as though I have only mentioned in passing that this particular religious zealot brother is the exception and not the rule. So I'd like to reiterate the fact that other than this one brother's reaction, our family has experienced nothing but love and total acceptance as we told them one by one that we have a gay son. When we told my other 3 brothers, their wives, my mother, my husband's sister, numerous cousins, nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles, dear friends and even mere acquaintances, it was nothing but open arms, love, and unconditional acceptance. So rather than dwelling on the irony that it was the two people (my brother and his wife) in our life who claim to be the good and loving Christians that in the end could not love or accept our son because he didn't fit their rigid religous standards, I'd like to focus on all the wonderful things that have happened since telling everyone else about our gay son.

So to that end and with permision, I am publishing an email (below) that I received from one of my other brothers this morning. This email is but a small reminder of the way this brother has taken my passions, my hurts, and my joys and made them his own.

This particular brother has always been my rock. Telling him about our son did not even produce a ripple of discord in our relationship, and in fact it made it even stronger. It would be a sin of omission if I didn't admit I lean on him often. He has an amazing way of cutting through the bullsh*t and getting to the heart of things. His thoughtful analysis and committment to truth, honesty, and integrity, and an uncanny understanding of human nature, has made him the person to whom I always turn when I need a rational voice of reason (which is often I might add).

Here is his email:

I must say this has been an interesting journey. I know both you and I were dubious of the decision by the two attorney's to go forward with the trial. Now that the decision has been rendered and one listens to the thorough and thoughtful ruling (128 pages) it's now clear why they moved forward. It's also an example of how one can evolve in their point of view when keeping an open mind.

However, that is precisely the problem in this country right now. Despite the facts, law, constitution and rational thought people refuse to think deeply about this (and most topics). A recent study that's getting a lot of press showed that facts often cause people to retrench deeper into their opinions and beliefs.

So I'm delighted with the outcome and really glad Olsen and Boies pressed forward with the case. I don't think the closed minded bigots deserve time to come to terms with this any longer.

ps. I saw Maggie Gallagher interviewed after the ruling. How pathetic. To see someone like her refuse all the complex logic that went into the decision is just breathtaking.

I am so fortunate to be able to call this thoughtful, loving, and supportive man my brother.


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