Friday, June 28, 2013

Dear Religious Right Homophobes and Not-So-Religious Homophobes

Please forgive me this post. I know my job is to seethe not gloat, but today I am going to luxuriate in your misery. And yes, I know that is not very nice or Christian of me, but these days I have a hell of a time calling myself a Christian, especially if it would put me in the same camp as you sanctimonious frauds. So if you have a problem with my enjoying these latest victories waay too much ---- tough. I really don't give a sh*t. Call it payback guys, and you know what they say about payback ...

If you haven't figured it out yet, I am absolutely thrilled with the Supreme Court's rulings on Prop 8 and DOMA. Yes, they could have gone further with their decisions, but you know what? I am glad they didn't because I am looking to you all to make the last leg of this journey (read: full equality in all 50 states) a cake walk. And from the looks of things, you have no plans of changing your game plan. In fact it actually looks like you are putting it on steroids.

Most of you have dedicated your lives to stripping rights and dignity from people for whom you hold nothing but contempt, which is basically everybody who doesn't fit your narrow definition for normal. You have taken righteous glee in enshrining your phobias and bigotry into our laws. You have pushed the vulnerable, many of them gay children, to take desperate measures to end the pain you have caused them and yet, you feel absolutely no remorse or shame. You have caused such pain and agony to so many - and believe me, your net has been wide. For every glbt person you demonize, there is a family, friends, neighbors, and co-workers who hurt right along side them. But you are too blinded by your bigotry to realize that. You are oblivious to the fact that people outside your little bubble are watching with horror as you wreak devastation in people's lives.

But things are finally starting to backfire. Why do you think there are 13 states that have legalized gay marriage? And I am confident that we shall see more states follow suit. People do not like bullies. And they hate sanctimonious frauds more. And with all the idiocy I have seen coming from your camp since the recent Supreme Court decisions, I think we can begin the countdown to a full 50 state bonanza. You've lost this battle guys.

But please do ignore me. And please do keep giving the media those hateful soundbites, and sending those ugly emails begging for more money, and tweeting those ridiculous tweets (see below), and making those silly dire predictions, and preaching those really mean sermons under the guise of god's loving grace. Because you are exposing your hateful souls in a way we never could have. No one can repulse people better than the likes of Michele Bachmann, Rick Santorum, Mike Huckabee, Maggie Gallagher, Tony Perkins, Brian Brown, the hierarchy of the Catholic Church, the bishops of the Mormon Church, right-wing politicians and everyone else who has beat up on the glbt community for personal gain.

What you have failed to realize is that most people are sane. They have their moral compasses pointed in the right direction and don't really need you to tell them how to be a decent human being. And they don't like denying people rights that they themselves have enjoyed and taken for granted. It just doesn't feel right or like an American value, and it certainly doesn't feel like something Jesus would do. And for those people who were sitting on the fence, sincerely believing your bullsh*t about gay marriage threatening their marriage ... well ... 13 states proved you guys to be the big fat liars you are. The sky did not fall. Life did not come to an end. And straight people's marriages did not start failing.

So on a personal note, I must begrudgingly thank you for the pain and anguish you caused me by going after one of my kids. Nothing could have gotten my attention better. These past ten years have changed my life and made me a better person. You opened my eyes to the hypocrisy of organized religion and the people who wrap themselves in it. You helped expose your partners-in-crime, the Republican party, for the creepy, hypocritical, sex-obsessed, women-hating, corporate-loving, sanctimonious frauds they are and as a result I have shed both from my life. And you made me get off my butt and get active. And I will never, ever rest on my laurels again. There is simply too much evil out there.

Oh and before I forget:

Thank you for going ballistic with dire predictions and fear mongering because the Supreme Court ruled against inequality and discrimination.

Thank you for pretending it is you that has had something precious  taken from you when you have lost absolutely nothing but the right to be bullies.

Thank you for all those vows to continue fighting gay marriage and tying things up in court for years rather than moving on to other causes that were closer to Jesus' heart, like poverty and hunger. You expose yourselves for the complete frauds you are.

Thank you for playing the victim card every time you you lose a fight. Nothing turns the stomach more than watching a big fat bully blubber for sympathy when he is exposed for the mean-spirited SOB he really is.

And finally, thank you for all the crazies you endorse and embrace. Please keep giving them a megaphone and a public stage. We've got a lot of marriage bans to repeal and gay weddings to plan and we sure could use their help to reach the finish line.


Dear Michael,

Today the sun shines brightly. 

It was ten years ago that your dad and I found out you were gay. I cannot begin to describe the wide gamut of emotions we felt or the anguish that washed over us when we read your high school essay. But it was the fear for your safety, and the anger that you would face obstacles in your life that your straight brother and sister would not, and the sadness that your dad and I would never be able to welcome into our lives a spouse should you choose to marry, or grandchildren should you choose to have a family, that ended up consuming me and changing my life in ways I could never have imagined.

That anger Michael, was never ever directed at you, but it was most definitely fueled by a fierce unconditional love and an intense need to protect you. And that anger Michael, would eventually turn into the seething rage that inspired the birth of this blog.

Ten years ago Michael, I began my odyssey into the swamp lands of right-wing hatred, but I needed to know who the enemy was. I needed to know who could hate you without even knowing you. I needed to understand why they felt they had to hate you.

Sadly it didn't take long to find the epicenter of most of that hatred. One of those places was my very own life-long place of worship, the Catholic Church. But it was also a lot of other churches as well. And the political party to which I had once belonged (but will never ever support again).

Ten years ago Michael, things seemed so hopeless. I truly did not believe I would see in my lifetime a day in which you would be able to marry, have a family, have it recognized by the federal government, and be given the same rights, protections, and dignity that straight marriages have. But a few days ago that world I thought I'd die in crumbled beneath my feet and along with it, so much of my despair and seething rage.

Are things perfect? No. But we are on our way baby. There is no stopping the momentum. You have choices now. If you want to marry, you can. If you want a family, you will get the same rights and protections for your family that people like Rick Santorum and Michele Bahmann get for theirs.

Tonight my dear sweet Michael, and every night from here on in, I will sleep a lot better because I know life can only get better for you. And for those who chose to hate you and legislatively deny you rights that they enjoyed in the name of some vengeful, nasty god, well, they will just have to live with the pain and anguish they have caused and maybe even face that vengeful god themselves some day.

And as for me, I am going to start letting go of some that seething rage, but not all of it, at least not yet. There are still battles to fight. And I will fight those until the day I die. Hope you don't mind. I know you will read this and shake your head, but sweetie, that's what moms do. They fight for their kids.

I love you so much and who you choose to love will never change that. It isn't who you love, it's that you can love that matters.

Hugs and kisses,

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Still on the road and what a trip it has been ...

We are in Monterey, California and it's just gorgeous here. It is sunny but pleasantly cool, a most welcome respite from the Arizona heat to which we will reluctantly return the end of this week. But it is not the weather I am basking in right now, it is the awesome news on Prop 8 and DOMA that came down from the Supreme Court this morning, all of which I will dedicate to a post unto itself, probably tomorrow since it is late and I am kind of loopy with fatigue right now.

But back to our road trip. All I can say is thank goodness for good news and good weather because this trip itself has had its fair share of unwelcome surprises. And we should have gotten an inkling of what was to come when things started going awry almost immediately upon landing in Seattle.

We landed at 12:30 pm and our daughter picked us up at the airport and announced we might have some trouble getting to our 3:30 pm appointment to service her car in preparation for the long drive back to Arizona. We looked at her and asked why since it is basically a 20 - 25 minute drive and we thought we had built in enough time to allow for lunch and some catching up.

Well ... that is not what the flying spaghetti monster had in store for us.

So as it turns out, we chose to fly into Seattle on one of the few days the entire city is shut down, including the I-5 and the SR99, both major highways for getting downtown from the airport. It seems there was a big marathon and a big summer solstice festival that day and everyone knew about it but our daughter, my husband, and me.

Well long story short, it took us longer to get to that darn Toyota dealership than it did for us to fly from Phoenix to Seattle. We sat in completely stopped traffic for hours and when we finally thought we'd found a back way out our of our misery with a shortcut our daughter thought she knew about (did I mention she has zero sense of direction?), we were stopped 10 minutes later by a really long train that went on for what seemed like an eternity and just when we could finally see the end of the train coming into sight, it stopped, then began to back up on the tracks for another 25 minutes and then stopped again for good, smack dab in front of our not-yet-serviced Toyota, leaving us stunned, trapped, and in complete despair of not making our appointment. We finally did make it to the appointment - late and very, very stressed out.

The appointment did not go well either. We were scheduled for a basic servicing (oil change, etc, etc), but I guess someone or something decided our day hadn't been disastrous enough. I knew things were about to get a lot worse when I saw the sweet little Toyota girl come out with a very strained smile that screamed your $89 oil change is about to become something much more complicated and expensive.

Among the myriad of problems was a nail in one of the tires that was so precisely placed that it rendered the tire irreparable and adding insult to injury was the fact that we needed to replace it and the other front tire because of something, something wear and tear or something. And, wait for it, they had no tires in stock in that size. (Thank goodness for Costco.) Then there were the two little gaskets which needed replacing because fluids were leaking, don't even ask me which ones because at that point I was shutting down and not hearing much. Oh and add to that some sort of fuel sensor that had gone bad and also needed replacing and ... you guessed it, they did not have that part in stock either. But the very worst part was that this was all transpiring on a Saturday evening at 6:00 pm and the dealership was getting ready to close for the night and remain closed through the weekend, throwing a huge wrench into our meticulously planned schedule of leaving bright and early Monday morning.

And ... we still needed to help our daughter finish moving out of her apartment on Sunday, get the stuff that would not fit into the car shipped to AZ (and do it all with no car since it would be perched high up on a whatchamacallit at Costco getting 4 new tires - hey in for a penny, in for a pound as my husband likes to say).

Ok, time to wrap this drab story up. The Toyota dealership really came through. They got the car all done mid Monday morning and we got on the road about 3 1/2 hours later than planned. We spent our first night in Eugene, Oregon. Delightful town. Delightful evening. Troubles seemed to be behind us.

But ... it didn't last long.

Left early the next morning. Next stop: Redding, California. Again, everything going along ok, aside from a torrential downpour towards the end that had visibility down to almost nothing. But we got through all the mountain passes safely. Car was just purring it was running so great. Tires fine. Gaskets great. Fuel sensor thingee sensoring just fine. And then wham! 15 minutes before our exit was about to appear, we see a bunch of brake lights ahead. Kinda a deja vu from the Seattle arrival day debacle.

And here is why:

A 4 vehicle crash on the Pit River Bridge involving 3 big rigs, one of them carrying diesel fuel that spilled all over the road, and one truck towing a boat.

Another 3 1/2 hours in stand-still traffic in the pouring rain with no means of escape.

There are still a few more days to this trip. Tomorrow we see our son and his boyfriend in LA. Nothing is going to put a damper on that day. Nothing. Cuz you know why? Today the Supreme Court made my son and his boyfriend equals to their fellow straight Californians (Prop 8 ruling). If they want to get married they can. If they don't, at least they have the choice. And thanks to another ruling (DOMA) by the Supreme Court, they will receive all the rights and dignity and protections and benefits that everyone else receives.

Nothing is going to rain on that parade.

Thursday, June 20, 2013

On the road again ...

Posting will be light for the next week or 2. We are headed to Seattle to help our daughter drive her car back to Arizona. She is moving back to go to medical school. It will be so nice to have one of our children back in Arizona again. We are elated.

So it looks like the Supreme Court is going to release its decisions on Prop 8 and DOMA while I am gone. I may just have to pull over and post my pure unadulterated joy or my seething rage, depending on how many of the justices side with Scalia. Regardless, I remain optimistic things will go our way and this time next week Tony will be crying about the breakdown of America's morals and the world ending. Heh - whatever.

Later ...

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

I am getting some blow back on one of my posts

It seems I have struck a nerve with my post on Jonathan Allen. I have received several emails and comments stating that Jonathan Allen was not honest when he told his story to the judges' panel while auditioning for the TV show, America's Got Talent.

To recap, the clip I included on my previous post (link provided above) starts with Jonathan telling an interviewer he is gay and was kicked out by his parents on his 18th birthday because "they did not support his lifestyle". He goes on to say that he had not talked to them in 2 1/2 years. He also states that he loves them with all his heart, but is not sure whether they still love him. He is emotional and believable, at least to me, but then as a PFLAG facilitator I hear  some version of this story a lot at my meetings. So maybe I was too quick to buy in to Jonathan's story, but for now I stand by my post.

The gist of the complaints is that Jonathan is lying about his backstory and his parents have been supportive. The emails and comments have been adamant that there is a lot more to this story than Jonathan has let on. And maybe there is, but there has been no proof presented at this point that what Jonathan said is a blatant fabrication. And until there is, I will stand by my earlier post.

So I will end this post by saying this, if in fact it turns out that parts or all of Jonathan's story turn out to be false, I will post that here on the front page along with an apology to his parents. But it will take a lot more than angry emails and comments, with no links or proof that Jonathan's story is bogus, to make me believe Jonathan's story is a lie. I have simply seen way too many stories just like Jonathan's. My gut says that the truth may fall somewhere in between.

We shall see ...

Monday, June 17, 2013

Hey right-wing mega churches in Arizona: Time to ramp up the lying, fear-mongering, and hate

Arizona voters in November 2014 may get another chance to decide the future of same-sex marriage in the state.
A nonpartisan group calling itself Equal Marriage Arizona filed paperwork Monday with the Arizona Secretary of State’s Office for an initiative to redefine marriage as “a union of two persons.” The state constitution currently defines it as only between one man and one woman.
The initiative also includes a clause stating that religious organizations or individuals cannot be required to officiate at a marriage if they have religious objections.

Oh and that third paragraph above that I bolded? My guess is that it won't make a damn bit of difference because it isn't about these religious institutions being made to do anything. It is about making sure gay people in Arizona are denied any dignity or rights.

My bet is these bible-bigot pulpit bullies are calling emergency secret meetings as we speak.  Strategies on how to effectively fear monger and lie, lie, lie are being formulated in mega churches all over the state. Forget the fact that during the Prop 8 trial, the witnesses for One-Man-One-Woman marriage were under oath and could not tell the lies we are soon going to be hearing, and the ones who did try to tell those stupid lies were exposed as fools and their research as manufactured garbage.

I won't let myself get too excited, but I will let myself enjoy the ridiculous antics and lies this time because I know it is only a matter of time and gay marriage bans around the country will one day be ugly, descriminatory blots in our history.

As one of our more progressive (and sane) editorialists here in Arizona will say in tomorrow's paperYou can only be on the wrong side of history for so long. 


Sunday, June 16, 2013

The History of Prop 8

With decisions on DOMA and Prop 8 coming any day now from the Supreme Court, I thought it would be interesting to post a clip of Prop 8's history.

I am optimistic about both cases, but with no legal background,  you can take that for what it's worth. The one thing I am absolutely sure of is that we will see Scalia choose, once again, the wrong side of history, just as he did in Lawrence v. Texas and I can only hope he writes the dissenting opinion on this one as well so that his buffoonish bigotry can be forever enshrined in history.


Thursday, June 13, 2013

Dear Southern Baptist Convention (Updated below)

What in God's name is wrong with you people? I just finished reading an article that honestly makes me believe you are nothing but a group of nasty, ignorant homophobes with major gay-sex obsessions and cruel streaks a mile wide.

Seriously? You called everyone together to vote on a resolution opposing the Boy Scouts' new policy allowing gay youngsters? What? Are there not enough young boys hanging themselves in their closets to make you feel like you are doing your job well enough? For Christ's sake - yes, I am invoking the name of the lord here because I honestly believe he'd be the first to condemn you as first-class a**holes and bullies.  What is your problem?

Do you not realize that most of these boys join the Boy Scouts when they are young children? My own sons joined the scouting organization when they were in first grade. They were just little boys and they had no concept of sexual orientation or attraction at that tender age. What exactly are you wanting the Boy Scouts of America to do? Give these little ones some kind of test in hopes of predicting which ones might turn out to be gay so you can deny them entry in the first grade? Or are you just going to wait until you see something that gives you the gay heebee jeebees and then kick them out? Are you really that nasty and stupid?

It is truly beyond the scope of my imagination how you people could be this psychologically damaged. It isn't these young kids that are the problem and they certainly aren't the ones who need to be ostracized and rooted out.  Leave them alone, they are busy earning merit badges and hiking 50 miles in Yosemite and working on major projects to earn their Eagle Scout rank. And if you weren't so twisted and obsessed with gay sex, you might actually think that was a good thing.

One of these kids is gay, which one will the Southern Baptists kick out?
Update: As if someone had been reading my mind, there is an opinion piece in today's (June 14) Arizona Republic - Scottsdale section (unable to link to it) titled: Scouting’s vote to allow all boys was right. 

Let me just copy a segment from this opinion piece for those who attended this latest Southern Baptists Convention to oppose the BSA's decision to allow all boys to be a part of the scouting experience [bolding is mine]:

A recent study by Baylor University, “Eagle Scouts: Merit Beyond the Badge,” compared the life experiences of men who had never been Scouts to those who had the experience. The results were remarkable. Former Scouts are significantly more likely to be in a stable family relationship, have good social situations, support religious and civic institutions, and express ide­als of honesty and integrity.
A previous study by Harris Inter­active, “Values of Americans: a Study of Ethics and Character,” found that former Scouts are “more satisfied with their present lives and occupations, have sustained lifelong friendships, and place a higher value on family relation­ships.”
These studies did not even touch on the fact that all but one of the men who have walked on the moon were former Scouts; or that Scouts are significantly more represented in public office, the military and emergency services, or the leadership of major corporations, labor unions, and national organiza­tions.
And then let me ask these sage "religious" men of the  Southern Baptists Convention one more time why they would object to any child being a part of this great organization. And please sage "religious" men of the  Southern Baptists Convention, don't reduce it down to sex or you really will expose your ignorance, intolerance, and creepy obsessions with gay sex.


Dear parents of Jonathan Allen,

I am not sure if you booted your son, Jonathan, out into the street on his 18th birthday for religious reasons or not, but if did, you just gave that God you worship one gigantic F.U. smack across the face. What an amazing gift your son is ----- and you are both too stupid to know it, but fear not because that beautiful young man you threw out like trash has now got millions of people around the world who will embrace him as their own. And that is a good thing, you do not deserve him.

I could not agree more with John when he said, you are indeed the worst parents in the world who raised the best kid in the world.


Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Pat Roberts reveals what it's really all about: the icky way they have sex

Oh Pat, you crazy old coot - how I love thee. May you live forever:

I can't believe I am saying this, but keep it comin Pat. We all need a good belly laugh once in a while.

Friday, June 07, 2013

Gay family values vs Straight family values

Watch these two video clips and tell me if you see any difference, because hard as I try, I sure don't.

Video #1:

Video #2:

But rest assured the "Sanctity of Marriage" crowd will see plenty of evil in one clip and not the other.

Hat tip: Americablog


Thursday, June 06, 2013

They did it on a goat farm

We just got back a few days ago. Our oldest son married his long-time girlfriend. The wedding was in Virginia on a goat farm. And it was truly beautiful.

They met back in 2007 in the Peace Corps. They did their service in Ukraine, but their assigned villages/cities were on opposite sides of the country making the simple act of seeing each extremely challenging and time consuming. Thankfully the challenges and distance only served to make the relationship stronger.

My husband and I are ecstatic. We could not have asked for a more beautiful and loving daughter-in-law. The only thing that could make us happier now would be for our gay son to have the same choice to marry the person he loves that his older brother had. And that just might happen soon with a Supreme Court ruling on Prop 8 coming any day now.

We shall see ...