|Today the sun shines brightly.|
It was ten years ago that your dad and I found out you were gay. I cannot begin to describe the wide gamut of emotions we felt or the anguish that washed over us when we read your high school essay. But it was the fear for your safety, and the anger that you would face obstacles in your life that your straight brother and sister would not, and the sadness that your dad and I would never be able to welcome into our lives a spouse should you choose to marry, or grandchildren should you choose to have a family, that ended up consuming me and changing my life in ways I could never have imagined.
That anger Michael, was never ever directed at you, but it was most definitely fueled by a fierce unconditional love and an intense need to protect you. And that anger Michael, would eventually turn into the seething rage that inspired the birth of this blog.
Ten years ago Michael, I began my odyssey into the swamp lands of right-wing hatred, but I needed to know who the enemy was. I needed to know who could hate you without even knowing you. I needed to understand why they felt they had to hate you.
Sadly it didn't take long to find the epicenter of most of that hatred. One of those places was my very own life-long place of worship, the Catholic Church. But it was also a lot of other churches as well. And the political party to which I had once belonged (but will never ever support again).
Ten years ago Michael, things seemed so hopeless. I truly did not believe I would see in my lifetime a day in which you would be able to marry, have a family, have it recognized by the federal government, and be given the same rights, protections, and dignity that straight marriages have. But a few days ago that world I thought I'd die in crumbled beneath my feet and along with it, so much of my despair and seething rage.
Are things perfect? No. But we are on our way baby. There is no stopping the momentum. You have choices now. If you want to marry, you can. If you want a family, you will get the same rights and protections for your family that people like Rick Santorum and Michele Bahmann get for theirs.
Tonight my dear sweet Michael, and every night from here on in, I will sleep a lot better because I know life can only get better for you. And for those who chose to hate you and legislatively deny you rights that they enjoyed in the name of some vengeful, nasty god, well, they will just have to live with the pain and anguish they have caused and maybe even face that vengeful god themselves some day.
And as for me, I am going to start letting go of some that seething rage, but not all of it, at least not yet. There are still battles to fight. And I will fight those until the day I die. Hope you don't mind. I know you will read this and shake your head, but sweetie, that's what moms do. They fight for their kids.
I love you so much and who you choose to love will never change that. It isn't who you love, it's that you can love that matters.
Hugs and kisses,