Friday, October 17, 2014


Today is my birthday and what a great day it has turned out to be! And I could not have asked for a better birthday gift. Gay marriage is now legal in Arizona!!!!

I am too emotional to post much. But grab a tissue or two and watch the clip below. I have actually met the first newly wed couple in the clip, Karen and Nelda and they are a class act. They have been together for 57 years and could teach a few of us "one-man-one-woman" couples a thing or two about commitment and love.

And as expected, not everyone is as gleeful as me, but that only makes me happier. First off we have our lovely governor, Jan Brewer, who apparently finds it "deeply troubling" that her gay and lesbian constituents have not waited long enough for the same rights as everyone else:
“It is not only disappointing, but also deeply troubling,” Brewer’s statement read, “that unelected federal judges can dictate the laws of individual states, create rights based on their personal policy preferences and supplant the will of the people in an area traditionally left to the states for more than two hundred years. As Justice Scalia opined, such action is tantamount to ‘an assertion of judicial supremacy over the people’ and is an image of the judiciary ‘that would have been unrecognizable to those who wrote and ratified our national charter.’”
Brewer’s view is that if same-sex couples are to enjoy full equality, they should have to wait until their rights have been subject to popular plebiscite or legislative approval.
“If society wants to recognize same-sex marriage or civil unions,” Brewer said, “that decision should be made through our elected representatives or at the ballot — not the courts.”

And then we have one of one of Arizona's top homophobes, Cathi Herrod and her group from the Center for Arizona Policy hyperventilating with the headline: "For Marriage Supporters: Grief Yes, Despair No":
“I am heartbroken for a country and a state that has had the redefinition of marriage forced upon them by an out of control federal judiciary. 
Today, we grieve. We grieve for the children who now have no chance of growing up with a mom and a dad. We mourn the loss of a culture and its ethical foundation. We mourn a culture that continues to turn its back on timeless principles.
But we do not despair. We do not throw in the towel. We do not give up. (bolding mine)
I am not sure what they think they are going to do now. About all that is left is a big giant temper tantrum and then years of  playing the victimhood card.

And me? I am going to sit back, enjoy a glass of wine, and luxuriate in their misery. Just like they did when the tables were turned. This Arizona mama is having the birthday of a lifetime.



Tuesday, October 07, 2014

Maybe I can quit seething now

Waking up to this was so lovely:

The tides have finally turned. But most surprising to me is something so perfectly expressed yesterday by Andrew Sullivan:
Unless the composition of the court changes, it now seems close to certain that every American citizen will soon have a right to marry the person they love. An idea that once seemed preposterous now appears close to banal. 
Banal. Who would have thought? 11 years ago I was a seething, agonizing mess, but now, I am nodding my head in agreement to the above statement.

The road to this point has been so bumpy, so full of exhilarating highs and devastating lows. But I now believe it was all necessary to arriving at this point. Martin Luther King Jr. once said something that is just as pertinent today as it was the day he said it:
“The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends towards justice.” 
Does all of this mean I am done seething? No, there will always be something to be angry about. The people who have decided it is their mandate to inflict their morals on the rest of us will eventually move on and if history is any indicator, their goals will almost always be a mix of noxious and nasty.  But having watched this particular drama involving gay rights unfold since 2003, which is when I found out I had a gay son and it became very up-close and personal for me, has made me realize that changing hearts and minds is a worthy albeit timely goal.

We are now watching the last, very ugly dying gasps of a movement that dedicated its entire existence to denying dignity, rights, and protections to a minority that included my son. I won't kid myself, it can still get really ugly, but something has changed in the dynamic. People's opinions have slowly changed. They no longer believe their marriages will be affected by the married gay couple down the street or that the sky is going to fall because that couple decides to have children. And that is because they no longer see gay people as much different than themselves.

These anti-gay groups no longer have the upper hand.

It was a long and very painful wait (and I only had 11 years of personal investment), but now with the advantage of hindsight, I get why it was so important that it happen this way.

My posting will still be almost non-existent. Life still has ups and downs, but seething for what my son is being denied is not necessary anymore. The genie is out of the bottle and no one can stuff it back in.

This is not yet an official good-bye. But I need to smile again.

love you guys,
Kim, former seething mom