Seething Mom

Yes, I have. Phew - powerful. I didn't post ...

2012-04-10T22:55:02.020-07:00

Yes, I have. Phew - powerful.

I didn't post it though because there was some talk that it might not be legit. But in my opinion, I don't think it much matters as long as it is getting visibility and making people think about what glbt children go through when they live in one of these crazy Christian homes with parents that could easily throw them to the curb like trash because that is what they think their "loving" God would want.

Have you seen this yet?

I "went inactive" from the Mormon church...

2012-04-08T09:55:16.814-07:00

I "went inactive" from the Mormon church because of cognitive dissonance. I was inactive for a long time. The final straw in my "apostate basket" was the church's involvement with anti-civil-rights legislation, first in Hawaii, later in California, and now in several other states. When that final straw hit that basket, I could no longer bear to have my name associated with such an organization, so I finally resigned my membership. Utah has one of the highest homeless teen populations in the country, and a majority (estimated 65 to 70%) are GLB kids kicked to the curb by parents who don't have the cojones to stand up to family members and church leaders in behalf of their children.

I'm glad your friend is starting to see the pa...

2012-03-26T07:06:59.930-07:00

I'm glad your friend is starting to see the painful truth. I am quite sympathetic to her, however, knowing that while ultimately necessary, it is a painful process.

Kudows to you!!!

2012-03-12T17:28:06.865-07:00

Kudows to you!!!

LOL! Fab-Y-lous!

2012-03-07T12:48:15.534-08:00

LOL! Fab-Y-lous!

Welcome to the club Anon. Your journey sounds amaz...

2012-03-02T07:33:28.038-08:00

Welcome to the club Anon. Your journey sounds amazingly similar to mine. My guess is we have a lot of company. And sadly, so many of the Republicans I know are uninformed and actively voting against their own interests. Sad. But comments like yours give me hope. Thanks for taking the time to comment.

I used to be one of "them". After a two ...

2012-03-02T06:22:02.287-08:00

I used to be one of "them". After a two year odyssey of educating myself, I will never vote for another (R) as long as I live. Once I turned off Limbaugh and Fox News, a whole new world opened up for me. People can change.

When some of us think of a youth group, we think o...

2012-02-25T05:36:05.202-08:00

When some of us think of a youth group, we think of church, but we also think of bullying and abuse, both at the hands of fellow youths and our leaders.

You could make a drinking game by taking a shot every time he mispronounces "license."

The guy cannot articulate an original thought. He reads the press statements and shrieks "Whaaaaat?" He then riffs on the spelling of a name. "B-y-r-n-e. B-Y-R-N-E!!!" as if that had any significance.

The sad thing is he thinks he's brilliant for spotting what he considers "propaganda" and indoctrination of young people. And the little "meltdown" at the end with an upward glance at the camera? Puh-leeeze.

Yes Sallie, we seething moms know each other well....

2012-02-24T13:24:27.068-08:00

Yes Sallie, we seething moms know each other well. I did indeed love this. Good on that hair stylist. And shame on that guv, she better watch herself or she may end up with a reverse mohawk.

Yet again, Jarred, you are such a valuable asset t...

2012-02-24T13:19:21.746-08:00

Yet again, Jarred, you are such a valuable asset to the conversation. And you provide what I cannot, a perspective from the other side of the equation.

I will say this though, when I am at PFLAG meetings and a mom or a dad starts describing what their emotions were, how they reacted, and why they said the things they said when they found out their child was g,l,b,or t there is often some surprise or even shock from the glbt people in the room as they realize that maybe they misinterpreted their own parents reactions when they came out.

At the time I found out, I know, without a doubt, I said some dumb things to my son in that initial conversation. And I know I said some things that may have been over the line and embarrassing for him as well, and I have admitted this many times, in my essays posted here on this blog, to him, and in PFLAG meetings, but at the meetings, I also explain why I said those things and the fears that fueled them. You'd be surprised how many times an lgbt person will respond with surprise and actually say, I never thought about it that way and maybe I just assumed my parent was saying those things out of animus but they were really saying it out of concern or fear.

And this is why I am willing to cut this woman a whole lot of slack. Her heart was in the right place and at no point in that conversation did she show anything but unconditional love. She may at some point, as I did, realize that she said some dumb things. But let's not also forget that she was learning something that her son had had known and grappled with for a while. He was coming from a more comfortable and well-versed position than she was. And for that reason, it is my opinion that she is allowed to make a few faux pas as long as the end result is complete acceptance and unconditional love. The rest comes with time and open dialogue between them.

Overall, I admire this woman for loving, accepting...

2012-02-24T09:57:50.052-08:00

Overall, I admire this woman for loving, accepting, and supporting her son. I also salute her for doing a bit of personal research on the topic of homosexuality and even trying to get an idea of how other QUILTBAG people might feel and what their experiences are like.

However, as a gay man, I also feel a great deal of sympathy for the young man in this video. He clearly feels overwhelmed by and uncomfortable with his mother's reaction at times. I totally get that too. If I had a chance to speak with this women, I would offer her the following advice (and will write as if addressing her when I say "you.")

1. Boundaries are important. There are some instances where in your admirable attempt to be there for your son and support him, you appeared to violate his. I would start with how you push him to find out what's on his mind before he even tells you that he's gay. It's great that you perceive that something is on his mind and you want him to feel free to talk about it. However, trying to guess and trying to push him to tell you already isn't likely to communicate that to him as well as you think. Sometimes, it's much better to say, "I get the feeling something's up that you want to talk about. I'm listening," then wait for him to start talking. In general, I think you might want to learn to listen more. Often, it's a far more supportive and uplifting act than all the encouraging and positive words in the world.

2. Be careful of straightsplaining. Your son is gay. That almost certainly means he knows more what it's like to be gay thank you do. Even though you've watched videos and found out what other gay people feel and experienced -- and again, that's a good thing on your part -- your son knows his experience of being gay -- and different gay people do have different experiences -- than you do. Trying to talk to your son about what it's like to be gay and what it means to be gay like you do at times is not comfortable, and it tends to invisibilize his own experience in the process. Again, this is where you'd be better off listening a bit more.

Thought you might enjoy this I know I did. http:...

2012-02-23T13:14:51.959-08:00

Thought you might enjoy this I know I did.

http://usnews.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/02/23/10488531-stylist-to-anti-gay-marriage-governor-no-haircut-for-you

Your blog is my favorite I check it everynight before bed.

Sallie (seething mom too!)

Well Anon, if it offends you, maybe you should go ...

2012-02-16T21:05:15.517-08:00

Well Anon, if it offends you, maybe you should go elsewhere.

I really wish I could agree with you Anon, but I d...

2012-02-16T20:39:09.515-08:00

I really wish I could agree with you Anon, but I don't have to make them out to be a bunch of simpletons, they are doing a stupendous job of it themselves. Example: the economy is a disaster, unemployment is still way too high, and people are suffering, but what do the conservatives want to talk about? Answer: Contraceptives. They are a bunch of simpletons. They made my case for me.

This is a silly way of getting back at conservativ...

2012-02-16T17:00:37.721-08:00

This is a silly way of getting back at conservatives. Just make them out to be simpletons - far from the truth!

I read so much hatred in this post!

2012-02-16T16:56:52.264-08:00

I read so much hatred in this post!

Hooray for cisgender allies! It's people like ...

2012-02-15T23:07:13.594-08:00

Hooray for cisgender allies! It's people like you that give people like me hope for a better TODAY! (Tomorrow never comes ya know).

Impressive that this was done, and that so many wo...

2012-02-12T00:00:11.697-08:00

Impressive that this was done, and that so many wonderful police department employees took part - this could help a lot of young folks see that their future can be rich, loving, and successful.

I agree. In fact her speech touched me so much tha...

2012-02-11T15:43:10.289-08:00

I agree. In fact her speech touched me so much that I wrote her a personal note to let her know how much I appreciated her vote and what she had to say. We need Republicans on board and when we get one to cross that line and side with fairness, dignity, and equality for all, we need to thank them and have their backs.

Love it -- right on target and funny too !! Good j...

2012-02-10T12:35:36.669-08:00

Love it -- right on target and funny too !! Good job, Rep. Luis V. Gutierrez.

Thanks for posting this - I knew about the passage...

2012-02-10T12:22:07.380-08:00

Thanks for posting this - I knew about the passage of the bill, but hadn't looked into any of the discussions. It is heartening to see a legislator speaking from the heart rather than the book of party line rules.

That was awesome!

2012-02-09T16:52:25.507-08:00

That was awesome!

Well, I guess this explains the current crop of ri...

2012-02-05T04:17:37.615-08:00

Well, I guess this explains the current crop of right wing politicians.

Its either laugh or cry for sure. Also, I just mov...

2012-01-29T19:38:14.481-08:00

Its either laugh or cry for sure. Also, I just moved back to Oakland, CA 3 weeks ago. I miss the desert but definitely not Governor Brewer.