Seething Mom

Question: How does a rising GOP star in Arizona Anti-Immigrant Politics sink his career?

2012-02-18T15:45:00.000-08:00

Answer:

Piss off his secret "illegal-alien" gay lover by threatening to deport him if he exposes their affair:

Pinal County Sheriff Paul Babeu — who became the face of Arizona border security nationally after he started stridently opposing illegal immigration — threatened his Mexican ex-lover with deportation when the man refused to promise never to disclose their years-long relationship, the former boyfriend and his lawyer tell New Times.

Now as someone who has a gay son, my heart does go out to this poor tormented soul. The closet is a toxic and suffocating place to be, but for the life of me, I cannot understand anyone choosing to be a member of a Party that bases their platform on extreme hatred of any and all minorities, with gays and Mexicans being at the top of the list. So my sympathy is tempered with a whole lot of disgust for this man.

How on earth could he have thought he could play this game and run for Congress and not get caught. Maybe he didn't realize how quickly his star was going to rise once he jumped into the "Be very afraid of the brown people" game:

Alas - yet another tragic ending for a deeply closeted, self-loathing, GOP hypocrite. When will they learn?

Oh and one more thing: Apparently Sheriff Babeu was the Arizona co-chair for Mitt Romney's Presidential campaign , but is stepping down for um more time with the family? Ahhhhhh the ripple affect of pure unadulterated schadenfreude.

Bill Maher holds up our lovely Arizona Governor as an example of how vile and disrespectful the GOP has become

2012-02-18T07:27:00.000-08:00

Poor poor Arizona, just can't catch a break, but then, we've gotten what we paid for. Vote in Teabaggin, right-wing hacks and we are gonna garner some bad press:

Dear Bishops testifying in DC right now

2012-02-17T12:49:00.000-08:00

Hurry up and get done oppressing women so you can get back to your full time job of demonizing and condemning young glbt children because lord (and the homeless shelters) knows you've been wildly successful at that job:

And to the parents who are throwing their children out like trash and thinking they have God's approval -- you are horribly and tragically wrong. Looking to these homophobic religious leaders for any kind of guidance is a big mistake. If there is a God, these men who claim to speak for Him will have to one day answer to Him. And so will you.

Here is the woman silenced by Chairman Issa at birth control hearing

2012-02-17T11:53:00.000-08:00

Here is the testimony the GOP good ole boys club and the Religious Right good ole bishops club absolutely, positively do NOT want you to hear:

And as for her friend who has polycystic ovarian syndrome and needed the prescription birth control to stop cysts from growing on her ovaries:

"For my friend, and 20% of women in her situation, she never got the insurance company to cover her prescription, despite verification of her illness from her doctor. Her claim was denied repeatedly on the assumption that she really wanted the birth control to prevent pregnancy. She’s gay, so clearly polycystic ovarian syndrome was a much more urgent concern than accidental pregnancy. After months of paying over $100 out of pocket, she just couldn’t afford her medication anymore and had to stop taking it. I learned about all of this when I walked out of a test and got a message from her that in the middle of her final exam period she’d been in the emergency room all night in excruciating pain. She wrote, “It was so painful, I woke up thinking I’d been shot.” Without her taking the birth control, a massive cyst the size of a tennis ball had grown on her ovary. She had to have surgery to remove her entire ovary. She’s not here this morning. She’s in a doctor’s office right now. Since last year’s surgery, she’s been experiencing night sweats, weight gain, and other symptoms of early menopause as a result of the removal of her ovary. She’s 32 years old. As she put it: “If my body is indeed in early menopause, no fertility specialist in the world will be able to help me have my own children."

Her friend will also face an increased risk of cancer, heart disease, and osteoporosis as a result of being forced to go untreated, but at least our GOP politicians and the so-called religious leaders they'll do anything to protect (especially if it is politically advantageous) will be sleeping well knowing their freedom of religion has not been trampled.

So what's next for our fearless leaders? Why taking on those dirty, icky homos of course!

:

So the Republican good ole boys club don't need no stinkin wimen to make sweeping decisions on women's health issues

2012-02-17T08:04:00.000-08:00

This is the All-Male Panel chosen by the GOP for the oversight hearing on Contraception and women's health. Boy o boy, this has got to be making a lot of Republicans very happy. They screech by day about the evils of Sharia law, but I've always believed by night ...

They envy these guys:

So what's next boys? This?

Update: I couldn't resist. I am adding yet another picture I lifted from Andrew's place - not that I needed further proof that the GOP has completely jumped the tracks when it comes to women and gays. But you know what they say about pictures being worth a 1000 words and all ...

Update #2: Here's my dream panel for an oversight hearing on Viagra and guns:

Following the journey of one Arizona man's travels on the gender expressway

2012-02-15T16:11:00.000-08:00

I have had the opportunity to meet so many wonderful people since I got involved with PFLAG. It truly opened up my world and gave me the chance to meet some of the most incredible and compassionate people I have ever met. It is one of the few places one can go and be who they are without judgment or shame cast upon them. And for anyone out there grappling with their sexual orientation, gender identity, or something within that spectrum, OR, if you are a family member or friend of someone struggling with these issues, OR, just an ally to the lgbt community, PFLAG is the place for you. And don't worry, if you do not live in Arizona, simply do a google search for the PFLAG meeting location nearest to you. You will not regret it - I promise.

Ok, with that said, I have gotten permission to post a link to a blog written by one of our very own PFLAG members who has decided to blog about his own unique story. And am I ever glad he is sharing his very personal story so publicly. He started the blog earlier this month so it is very new and I would strongly suggest scrolling down to his very first post and working your way up to his most recent post. You will understand why when you start reading, but I'll get you started by snipping and pasting his very first blog entry from February 8th titled Florida or Bust right here, that way you will get a taste of where his journey is taking him:

When I was 15 years old something terrible happened. I grew boobs. But on Valentine’s Day I’m giving myself the two best gifts ever. First, I’m burning my bras. Then, I’m heading to Sunrise, Florida, for male chest reconstruction surgery. Excited for me? Think I’m totally bonkerpants? Have absolutely no idea what I’m talking about? Come back each day and follow my adventures along the way.

I think, with some exceptions**, that we have reached a pretty good place when it comes to acceptance and understanding of gay and lesbian issues, but I know we still have a long way to go to reach that same level of understanding and acceptance when it comes to gender identity issues. And ignorance can be such a formidable obstacle to reaching that point. So it is going to take courageous people like this young man to tell their story and share their fears and emotions to move understanding and acceptance forward. By blogging his transition story he not only lets others who are walking this same path know they are not alone, but he also educates those of us who do not understand what people who are struggling with these issues are going through. And I thank him for that. It is one more step towards reaching that same level of understanding and acceptance we've reached with our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters.

**exceptions: Most of the Republican Party including every one of the 2012 Republican Presidential candidates, most conservative right-wing religious groups and churches, most so-called family advocacy organizations (Focus on the Family, American Family Association, The Family Research Council), and most organized groups who claim to want to protect marriage (NOM).

Dear Rick Santorum, blow it out your frothy @$$

2012-02-15T08:14:00.000-08:00

I just read the most amazing post over at Daily Kos and it is just too fantastic not to share, but splicing, dicing, and pasting does not do it proper justice either so please, please go read the whole thing. It will make your day.

Here is a taste to whet the appetite:

Dear Rick Santorum, I'm sorry you have the sexual maturity of a fucking twelve year old. I'm sorry that you would rather talk about the evils of gay people and women's access to contraception because you have no jobs plan at all, other than to scream "GET A JOB!" at people. I know why you do this, its' because you are a wholly corrupt corporate whore who wants to help the banksters screw American consumers and you have absolutely nothing else to offer people, but please, spare me your hurt feelings about being disrespected. Because of your blatant bigotry you already share a name with a fecal sex by-product, I think we are way past disrespectful at this point.

The reason we disrespect you, Rick Santorum, is because you are disgusting, hateful bigot and a massive corporate tool who has dedicated his life to making life miserable for a small percentage of LGBT Americans while you work tirelessly to enrich the already very rich. You long for a time when Blah People and Women knew their place, and you seem to think that the Presidency is like the Papacy. You're not running for the job of Pope of America, Pat Buchanan already has that job.

So spare me your self-righteous indignation, you mouth breathing, knuckle dragging troglodyte stereotype of a sexually suppressed Broadway villain from the 1950's.

[...]

Dear Rick Santorum, I'm sorry you don't like certain kinds of sex. That is your fucking problem.

To the sexually repressed adults who want to make believe it is 1955 and that a voting booth is a Delorean with a flux capacitor, I'd like to remind you of the movie Back To The Future. Just like the movie, eventually you are going to be forced to realize it is 2012, but you are still the repressed, conspiracy theory driven John Birch Republicans of 1955, and you're gonna be mad as hell when you figure out that just like in the movie, at the end Biff is just a chump and the black guy who used to mop the floor at the diner who Buff used to look down on is going to end up running the town and there is nothing you can do, Rick Santorum, to stop it.

But please, ENOUGH with the gay bashing religious extremist bullshit. Your entire campaign is a frothy blend of bigotry and bankster worship. Your campaign doesn't make me think of Jesus Christ, it makes me think of Fred Phelps.

[...]

So, in closing, dear Rick Santorum, blow it out your frothy @$$. I'm sorry if that sounds divisive or disrespectful, but frankly, no one gives a fuck about your hurt feelings you bigoted corporate whore.

Peace and love to all, even the sexually repressed.

Rant over

Arizona Republic online poll: "Was the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals right to overturn California's Prop 8 ban on gay marriage?"

2012-02-11T20:16:00.000-08:00

Yes, 57 percent
No, 41 percent
Hard to say, 2 percent
Total votes: 2,304

Well this is interesting and yes, I know, quite unscientific, but still interesting. This is Arizona - you know. And probably enough to cause Cathi Herrod, Arizona's top homophobe, a few sleepless nights, which makes this seething mama very, very happy and ready for a good night's sleep.

SFPD "It Gets Better" Video

2012-02-11T07:36:00.000-08:00

This video really got to me. And I've got to believe that if I were a scared, bullied, gay or lesbian kid, this clip would really give me hope and comfort. It is one of the more powerful "It Gets Better" videos I've seen.

And speaking of non-partisan issues ...

2012-02-09T11:25:00.000-08:00

I posted a rant just a few minutes ago about marriage equality and how it is not a partisan issue and then lo and behold, I come across this clip below. It's a bit beyond the scope of what this blog is all about, but not really. It certainly begs the question: Why do Republicans try and divide this country so much. And no issue is too divisive, too repulsive, too hurtful, too racist, too homophobic, or too despicable to use if it means a political gain for the person exploiting it.

This is the description on the YouTube page of this clip below:

February 8, 2012 - Congressman Luis Gutierrez (D-IL) came to the House Floor to respond to Newt Gingrich, who has begun calling President Obama the "Food Stamp President." Armed with facts, the Congressman has a little fun setting the record straight and despite the name calling, be concludes that "hunger knows no race or religion or age or political party. Hunger is colorblind."

SUH-NAP!

We need more Republicans like this Washington state legislator

2012-02-09T11:04:00.000-08:00

I dare you to watch this without a tissue. I sure couldn't do it. Watch it and weep (with tears of joy).

The fact is, this fight for equality for the glbt community should not be splitting down party lines. It is NOT a partisan issue. Having a gay or lesbian child is not exclusive to any political party, religious affiliation, race, ethnicity, or any other category. And equality, dignity, family values, fairness, personal responsibility, the right to marry who we love, and the pursuit of happiness are certainly not values reserved for some Americans and not others. They are values that define us as Americans, they are values that unite us as one, they are values for everyone and not just for those that don't give Rick Santorum the heebie jeebies. And yet, for the most part, the Republican party believes these values should be divvied up based on what makes their socially conservative religious base most comfie. Being able to commit to and marry the person you love, without government intervention, without Religious intervention, and without restrictions that others around you don't suffer, is the American way, which is why we need Republicans on board to win this battle once and for all. And it is also why we should be applauding the Republican legislator in the above clip and any other Republican who recognizes that this is an American value we are fighting for, not a right wing Republican value.

Huge victory in California! Prop 8 is unconstitutional.

2012-02-08T14:29:00.000-08:00

All I can say is THANK YOU Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals for that oh-so wonderful ruling and victory #2.

And as is expected after such a momentous victory. There is just a ton of hub-bub and chatter on the internet and t.v. today. Unfortunately, I have been unable to fully revel in it all, there is just too much going on in my life right now. But worst of all, I cannot sit down and completely immerse myself in the anti-gay crowd's full-blown misery. And dang that really stinks!

But as usual, Joe. My. God. is doing a yeoman's job of covering it all. So give him a visit and enjoy the stay. He is in his blogging glory and seems to be doing a fine job of immersing himself in the anti-gay crowd's misery, even if I can't right now.

The thing that's toughest for me is not being able to watch the people at NOM, the AFA, the FRC, the Catholic Church, the Mormon Church, and every other hateful organization dedicated to demeaning and dehumanizing gays and lesbians as they suffer the pain and humiliation of this of loss. I just wish I could sit in front of my computer and watch them tremble with the same kind of seething rage I have been feeling since I found out my son was gay in 2003 and realized these heathens existed only to make life miserable for him. I want to revel in their anger and agony of defeat. I want them to feel neutered, impotent, and completely powerless like they thought they were making the glbt community feel. And yes, I want them to suffer as much as they have caused our gay and lesbian children and the people who love them to suffer. And if that sounds horrible and mean - it's meant to. These people are hateful scum and they deserve nothing more than our scorn and hate. To say I have been dreaming of this day is an understatement. And like an addict, I am going to need another fix and then another one after that, and then another one after that, and then ... well you get the picture.

Am I mean and cruel? Am I uncivilized and nasty? When it comes to these sanctimonious frauds - yes I am. And guess what? I don't care. I am over the moon with joy and happiness and part of that joy and happiness is seeing them get a taste of the agony they have cause so many. And I do not give a rat's ass what anyone thinks of me. In fact I hope they hate me as much as they hate my gay son. That would be a badge of honor I'd wear proudly.

I have never claimed to be a moral, holier-than-thou, god-botherer. I have only claimed to be a mom who loves her gay son no matter who he loves. And the nasty, evil haters that stand in his way of having the same rights as everyone else are my mortal enemies.

But enough of my nasty, spiteful incivility - even though I am having way too much fun. I also want to talk about a hero in this story and that is Rob Reiner - one of the main players in this successful Prop 8 repeal saga. He made this happen. And we owe him a huge debt of gratitude. And Stephanie Miller had him on her radio show today to discuss the huge victory that happened in California yesterday.

After Prop 8 passed in 2008 and stripped California gays and lesbians of the right to marry, Mr. Reiner emerged as a huge and extremely supportive voice for marriage equality and the repeal of Prop 8. And he backed that supportive voice with money - a whole lot of it. In fact, he is the main financial backer behind this fight, and he is the person responsible for recruiting the big name attorneys that have been fighting this battle from the beginning.

Listen and enjoy:

Rob Reiner Talks About The Repeal Of Prop 8 on The Stephanie Miller Show 2-8-12 by RadioGuyChris

gotta go ...

Study Suggests Low IQ, Social Conservatism, And Prejudice Are Linked

2012-02-04T09:50:00.000-08:00

No big surprise in this study's findings:

There's no gentle way to put it: People who give in to racism and prejudice may simply be dumb, according to a new study that is bound to stir public controversy.

The research finds that children with low intelligence are more likely to hold prejudiced attitudes as adults. These findings point to a vicious cycle, according to lead researcher Gordon Hodson, a psychologist at Brock University in Ontario. Low-intelligence adults tend to gravitate toward socially conservative ideologies, the study found. Those ideologies, in turn, stress hierarchy and resistance to change, attitudes that can contribute to prejudice, Hodson wrote in an email to LiveScience.

"Prejudice is extremely complex and multifaceted, making it critical that any factors contributing to bias are uncovered and understood," he said.

Have not seen the show yet (it's DVR'd), but apparently Bill Maher discussesd this study with his panel last night:

I didn't need a formal study to convince me that low IQ is linked to racism, prejudice, and overly simplistic & rigid world views, but I would add that even smart people can choose to be ignorant. In my own family I see a version of this.

There are 5 kids in my family: I have 4 brothers and then there is me. Four out of the 5 of us have college degrees and most of us have significant post graduate studies under our belt as well. Now I'm not saying my one brother who chose not to pursue a college degree is dumb or has a low IQ, he's not and he doesn't, but isn't it ironic that this is the brother who absolutely, positively knows, without even a scintilla of a doubt that my gay son is going to spend an eternity in hell for choosing to be gay?

Washington state Senator Steve Hobbs: I’m voting for marriage equality because I will never leave a fallen comrade behind

2012-02-02T14:13:00.000-08:00

Full story and transcript written by Laurel Ramseyer over at Pam's place. Please watch this wonderful Senator's moving speech and then head on over to Pam's and get Laurel's very perceptive take on things.

How completely refreshing, invigorating, and inspirational it is to see a politician vote for something because it is the right thing to do and not because it is the politically advantageous thing to do for his career. What a moving and brave speech and what a hero this guy is.

Big-time insomnia, brain in overdrive, too much stimulation, I need a release, and I need some sleep

2012-02-01T23:01:00.000-08:00

Having a really, really bad night. Can't sleep. Too much on my mind. So what better way to lull myself to sleep than to put all the mumbo jumbo that is running through my brain in an endless loop down in one post. Please forgive. I know this post is going to make you think this seething mama has gone off the rails, but trust me, this blog post is my therapy. Release the toxins here and then go to bed and sleep like a baby. Let it all out. Don't even try to make sense of it all - just let it flow.

So here goes. A quick look into the mind of a woman on the edge:

First a most apropos post of a very homophobic idiot who deserves all the humiliation we can throw at him - and a damn good laugh at the expense of a very vile Rick Santorum - Big thanks to Bad Lip Reading:

Next a very rewarding glitter bombing in Minnesota (thanks for the heads-up Jeff) of another very worthy target - another GOP idiot and most likely the presidential nominee for the Party, Mitt Romney - couldn't happen in a better place either - keep on glitterin MN:

And now, my greatest hope: that Barry Goldwater was right - the Religious Right is going to eventually destroy the Republican Party- may it happen soon:

And last but probably the most pressing thing on my mind - could this possibly help my mom? Well it's worth a try - no?:

OMgawd forgive me! I had no idea the embedding code I grabbed before going to bed last night included an introduction by the Reverend Loopy himself. The original clip I saw didn't start off with him. Obviously this is not the clip I meant to use, please accept my apologies.

There now - I feel better...

Night night. Love you. May the sweet dreams begin ...

SM

Lovin me some Benson

2012-01-29T10:41:00.000-08:00

Oh lookie, Arizona's wicked witch of the west is once again making Arizonans proud

2012-01-25T19:14:00.000-08:00

Well color me shocked - our backwater guv is truly a nasty, disrespectful, and embarrassing hag. No sooner had President Obama's plane touched down at the Phoenix-Mesa Gateway Airport this evening and our classless governor was all up in his grill wagging her bony finger and giving him what looks like a nasty tongue lashing.

Where is that flying house from Kansas when we need it? Her term cannot end fast enough for this fed-up Arizona mama.

Dear Minnesota and North Carolina:

2012-01-23T13:30:00.000-08:00

Take a look at Washington state and see how it's done:

BREAKING: Washington’s Marriage Equality Bill Has Enough Votes to Pass and here is the 25th vote that will ensure full equality and dignity to that state's gay and lesbian citizens:

Senator Mary Margaret Haugen (D-Camano Island)

And here is her statement in full:

Haugen announces stance on marriage equality

OLYMPIA – Sen. Mary Margaret Haugen issued the following statement today following the Senate hearing on Senate Bill 6239 to allow same-sex marriage:

“For several weeks now, I have heard from the people of my district. They’ve shared what’s in their hearts and minds.

“I have received many letters, emails, phone calls, very heartfelt, from both sides of the issue. I’ve also received a number of very negative comments from both sides.

“For some people, this is a simple issue. I envy them. It has not been simple or easy for me.

“To some degree, this is generational. Years ago I took exception to my parents’ beliefs on certain social issues, and today my children take exception to some of mine. Times change, even if it makes us uncomfortable. I think we should all be uncomfortable sometime. None of us knows everything, and it’s important to have our beliefs questioned. Only one being in this world is omniscient, and it’s not me.

“I have very strong Christian beliefs, and personally I have always said when I accepted the Lord, I became more tolerant of others. I stopped judging people and try to live by the Golden Rule. This is part of my decision. I do not believe it is my role to judge others, regardless of my personal beliefs. It’s not always easy to do that. For me personally, I have always believed in traditional marriage between a man and a woman. That is what I believe, to this day.

“But this issue isn’t about just what I believe. It’s about respecting others, including people who may believe differently than I. It’s about whether everyone has the same opportunities for love and companionship and family and security that I have enjoyed.

“For as long as I have been alive, living in my country has been about having the freedom to live according to our own personal and religious beliefs, and having people respect that freedom.

“Not everyone will agree with my position. I understand and respect that. I also trust that people will remember that we need to respect each other’s beliefs. All of us enjoy the benefits of being Americans, but none of us holds a monopoly on what it means to be an American. Ours is truly a big tent, and while the tent may grow and shrink according to the political winds of the day, it should never shrink when it comes to our rights as individuals.

“Do I respect people who feel differently? Do I not feel they should have the right to do as they want? My beliefs dictate who I am and how I live, but I don’t see where my believing marriage is between a man and a woman gives me the right to decide that for everyone else.

“I’ve weighed many factors in arriving at this decision, and one of them was erased when the legislation heard today included an amendment to clearly provide for the rights of a church to choose not to marry a couple if that marriage contradicts the church’s view of its teachings. That’s important, and it helped shape my decision.

“My preference would be to put this issue on the ballot and give all Washingtonians the opportunity to wrestle with this issue, to search their hearts as I have, and to make the choice for themselves. But I do not know that there are the votes to put it to a ballot measure. So, forced to make a choice, my choice is to allow all men and women in our state to enjoy the same privileges that are so important in my life. I will vote in favor of marriage equality.

“I know this announcement makes me the so-called 25th vote, the vote that ensures passage. That’s neither here nor there. If I were the first or the seventh or the 28th vote, my position would not be any different. I happen to be the 25th because I insisted on taking this much time to hear from my constituents and to sort it out for myself, to reconcile my religious beliefs with my beliefs as an American, as a legislator, and as a wife and mother who cannot deny to others the joys and benefits I enjoy.

“This is the right vote and it is the vote I will cast when this measure comes to the floor.”

Congratulations Washington! You beat California in the race to bring fairness, dignity, and full equality to the west coast. Be proud. Be very proud.

Rep. Gabrielle Giffords Steps Down from Congress

2012-01-22T13:43:00.000-08:00

This is such a huge loss for Arizona:

There are so many emotions I am feeling right now: sadness, loss, anger, and fear - just to name a few. I don't think I need to explain all of these feelings, in particular, the sadness and loss, but the anger and fear? Well there are so many reasons to be both angry and fearful and one does not need to look too far back in Arizona's past to understand why anger and especially fear are legitimate emotions to be feeling right about now. Here are just two reasons from Arizona's very recent history that should scare any sane person, but rest-assured Arizona has a very long and colorful love affair with guns and the nuts who've lost any hint of sanity or common sense when writing laws regulating them:

Arizona's well-earned and very deserved reputation for having a very right-wing, gun-luvin, NRA-beholden legislature, which has only gotten crazier and more prolific with their legislation of guns-for-everybody-anywhere-anytime laws since the shooting of Gabrielle Giffords. Examples here, here, here, here, here, here, and here. And those are only the tip of the iceberg.
And secondly, I worry about the huge hole Gabby's resignation leaves on the list of sane Arizona congressional representatives. I simply cannot forget the nutcase teabagger who ran against Gabrielle Giffords in the 2010 elections. His name is Jesse Kelly and his campaign was enough to send the fear of God through me. In this case, just 2 pictures are worth a thousand blog posts on this idiot:

So Newt, the family values adulterer, has won the South Carolina primary

2012-01-21T19:56:00.000-08:00

The clip below is for you Newtie ...

Via BJ's Anne Laurie

Psst: be sure and click on over to Anne's post and see what special anniversary Newtie will be celebrating tomorrow...

Tony Perkins: "Evangelicals are not judgmental."

2012-01-21T08:48:00.000-08:00

So Mr. Tony Perkins thinks Evangelicals are not judgmental. And he says it with a straight face and without even a scintilla of shame. What a lying ass this man is ... or maybe he's just trying out the face-saving talking points he will have to use when scraping the egg off his face when his party, the party of Family Values and Sanctity of Marriage, nominates a thrice married adulterer as their candidate for President of the United States.

Why the hell MSNBC continues to invite this hate-filled, judgmental, homophobe and leader of the Family Research Council, an officially designated hate group, onto any of their shows is beyond me. I immediately turn the channel when I see this man's face. I cannot help but feel like I need to shower when I hear Tony Perkins speak, he really gives me the creeps. And I don't think I am the only one who feels this way.

How dare anyone ask Newt, the Family Values and Sanctity of Marriage protector, anything about how he personally destroyed his own multiple marriages and families

2012-01-20T10:24:00.000-08:00

Newt, the adulterer, hypocrite, and general scumbag, throws
tantrums when anyone calls him on it.

So Republicans in South Carolina are lovin them some Newtster right about now. Or at least it looked that way at the debates last night. Just take a look at the clip below if you don't believe me.

Just 5 minutes in and CNN's debate moderator, John King, dared to question this relatively new and very staunch Catholic and old and very staunch Family Values politician about ABC's interview with Newt's former mistress and second ex-wife, Marianne, in which she claimed Ole Newtie wanted her to "share" him with his second mistress and current third wife, Calista, in an open marriage. And WOW. Just wow. Newt's response was pure Academy Award level faux outrage and distraction from the screaming fact that he is a pig, adulterer, and a grave danger to the institution of marriage as he envisions it for everyone else - except those icky homos.

But apparently the bible belt Southern Baptist South Carolinian Conservative Evangelicals in the audience just lapped up Newt's blustery, blowhard, aghastedness at the fact that anyone would dare ask him about his own long and sordid history as a man-whore, hypocrite, and general scumbag extraordinaire. And boy oh boy did he let loose on poor ole John for daring to do the job he was being paid to do, ask the tough questions so we voters can get to know who we are voting for.

I personally was sickened by the Newt's tantrum, but then again I am not a Republican, I am not a Republican (deserves repeating), I am not a bible-thumpin hypocrite, and I certainly don't want Obama defeated at any cost even if it means voting for a toxic, stomach-turning pig and hypocrite like Newty. But I am not the people who attended the debate last night and clapped with glee in response to Newty's "performance". They ate it up and begged for more. And poor John King ... well ... as much as it pains me to do so, I guess I am going to be forced to quote Brent Bozell for lack of a better quote that sizes up what the audience thought happened last night, so please forgive me:

Someone get the license number of the truck that just ran John King over.

Take your Rolaids and watch at your own risk. Barf bag might be needed:

The Gay Rights Movement

2012-01-17T08:58:00.000-08:00

I came across this short documentary by Ryan James Yezak over at Pam's House Blend. It is a powerful 7 minute reminder of how far this country has come, but how far we still have to go when it comes to full equality for our glbt brothers, sisters, sons, and daughters. The clip is very well done and very emotional (at least for me), but I do agree with Pam's quibbles about the piece, which I have snipped and posted below.

This is the first time I have encountered anything by Ryan James Yezak and I am impressed. He is definitely very talented and I think his work will have a powerful impact in the fight for full equality. I am including a link to his next project, Second Class Citizens Documentary, I hope you'll check it out.

And as for Pam's quibble, which is not directed so much at Yezak as it is at the gay rights movement in general, I'll post a snippet and you can decide if she has a legitimate point or not, I believe she does:

My quibble with the piece is about the decisions revolving around what is and isn’t included. In a compilation of any historical movement that is only around seven few minutes, you have to select what you feel is representative, and that’s editorial license of the filmmaker. My comments aren’t really toward Yezak; his selections do represent the status quo thinking about the movement – it’s largely about gay white men.

Aside from clips of Ellen DeGeneres talking about the murder of Lawrence King (and a blink-of-an-eye clip of her coming out on her sitcom), you’d think lesbians are practically non-existent in the movement. And it’s definitely “gay rights” only – don’t expect anything related to trans folk here either. If gays and lesbians are second-class citizens, you have to wonder what society considers transgender citizens if we render them invisible from the movement (as bis already are).

And people of color? Well, aside from Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. (an opportunity to show gay activist and organizer of the March on Washington, from which the clip is taken, Bayard Rustin, was missed), one unmistakable landmark event in gay rights history is Lawrence v. Texas, which revolved around an interracial couple, John Geddes Lawrence and Tyron Garner. Not in the clips. Note: if Dan Choi hadn’t been in the DADT-related clips, then the vid would have been a complete whitewash. It’s kind of sad.

But my point is that editorial decision making is subjective in any film or documentary, and this particular slice of the cinematic pie probably represents the general audience’s perceptions of the movement and what it looks like as well. Will that ever organically evolve into broader vision of the movement? I hope so.

No, I am not manic depressive, I just play one when blogging

2012-01-14T08:49:00.000-08:00

For those who have followed my blog for any significant amount of time, you know I am not the most prolific blogger in the blogosphere, nor am I a very reliable source for those who need a daily fix of seething rage. In fact anyone with even the slightest familiarity with my blogging habits might conclude I suffer from something akin to bipolar affective disorder in that I go through periods where you'd think I dropped off the face of the map never to be heard from again and other periods where I am darn right chatty and in your face when it comes to blogging.

Thankfully, I can assure you I am not suffering from any mental disorders that I know of, but as is the case with most of us, life can throw some pretty good curve balls and get in the way of even the best laid plans (to be a prolific blogger aiming a non-stop barrage of incendiary seething rage at anyone who dares to stand in my gay son's way of being a first-class citizen of this great country). And the curve ball I am dealing with right now was actually thrown back in August of 2007 when my mother fell and sustained a TBI (traumatic brain injury) that was far more serious than I realized at the time. I actually blogged about it here when it first happened and before I knew what that fall was going to mean down the road.

My mother was married and living down in Tucson at the time she fell. Her husband (of 7 years) was going downhill fast and very dependent on her. He was fast descending into his own world of dementia and alcoholism, making what she had hoped would be their golden years more of a nightmare than a fairy tale. He died while she was up here in Scottsdale going through the long and arduous task of rehabilitation and getting some semblance of her past life back. It was not a great situation, but one she handled the same way she handled all the challenges in her life and there were plenty of them. She has always been an extremely strong and very capable woman who knew how to handle tough situations. She proved that early on when she ended up a single mom supporting and raising 5 young children and doing a damn good job of it. She amazed everyone who knew her with her beauty, her brains, her independence, her strength, and her amazing gut instincts and 6th sense about things. She was and is my Rock of Gibraltar and my best friend. We were and are very very close. I say "was" and "is" because the dynamics have changed. Now it is me who needs to be my mother's Rock of Gibraltar.

My mother has been diagnosed with dementia. She is still doing well, but the future is a great big unknown. I am scared. I am devastated. And I am mourning. I am watching the mom I have loved and adored die a slow-motion death and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. Our roles have been reversed and it is me she leans on and me who will take care of her as she slowly loses her independence and her mind. And I would have it no other way.

It hurts so damn much. I don't want to lose her. But there is nothing I can do to stop what is going on. The wheels were set in motion back in 2007.

And so, I will continue to blog in a manic depressive fashion. I started this blog as an outlet for my intense anger at things I thought I could not change and I will continue to use this blog as an outlet for my intense anger at things I cannot change. There will just be a whole lot more stuff fueling my emotional outbursts. So please bear with me.

WHAT FANTASTIC NEWS FOR MINNESOTA

2012-01-13T20:07:00.000-08:00

Jeff Wilfahrt, father of fallen soldier Cpl Andrew Wilfahrt, and hero to all
who believe in marriage equality for everyone.

JEFF WILFAHRT IS RUNNING FOR A SEAT IN THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES!!!!! Sorry for the shouting, but I've misplaced my bullhorn and the mountaintop I use to shout amazing news like this. And I also want to apologize for being so late in reporting this so please forgive me. I received an email the other day from the man himself, Jeff Wilfahrt, announcing his plans to run for the MN House of Representatives in the fall of 2012 on the DFL ticket. From his email:

I am running on DFL ticket. To that end I declare myself fiscally conservative and socially progressive.

To the first point I offer the following evidence. We own our home free and clear. We put two of our children through college debt free. Aside from the revolving door of taxation we owe no one. In our leanest years we went without to achieve those ends.

To the second point; as you are aware last year in 2011 we lost our eldest son to an IED in Afghanistan. Had the GOP not put forward the Marriage Amendment for the 2012 ballot many of you would not know my name nor would you be receiving this beg letter.

And his political philosophy:

My core philosophy is a paraphrase of the Wellstone statement; “Everyone does better when everyone does better.” We achieve the best of that through governance.

I believe in Government. It is what binds us as a society. It serves a critical function across the spectrum of our daily lives.
I believe in Labor, as in unionized. If you have benefits and the weekend off, thank the labor movement in this country in years gone by.
I believe in Education. To the point of boredom I have told our children that by definition half the population is below average (the ‘mean’ for you technocrats) and that our only hope is to raise the average.

I am definitely prochoice on the issue of abortion.
I am definitely supportive of the long overdue Equal Rights Amendment in the state constitution.
I am definitely supportive of a resolution to establish fairness on the issue of immigrants and their status.

I oppose the notion that government is our kitchen table and bound the trite idea that we must live within our means. Government to me is the lever by which we will lift ourselves upward and outward from this morass we are in.
I oppose Photo ID. As put more succinctly by others, this is a solution looking for a problem.
I oppose the marriage amendment.
I oppose the requirement of a super majority for tax increases.

Should you like to contribute to this terrific candidate's campaign, you can mail your check to:

12707 Chinchilla Ave
Rosemount, MN 55068

You are allowed to donate in any amount up to and not exceeding $250 per individual. The initial balance is $500, comprising $250 each from my wife and me.

Jeff and Lori Wilfahrt are huge heroes in my book and they are just what the Minnesota state legislature needs to get Minnesota back to the grand state I will always love and treasure. So out with the bad (buh-bye Minnesota Senate Majority Leader, adulterer, and Family Values Fraud, Amy Koch) and in with the good (hello Champion of marriage equality and dignity for all Minnesotans-straight or gay, Jeff Wilfahrt).

As my family comes together for Thanksgiving, it is hard not to think of families like the Wilfahrts

Why I Hate Religion ...

2012-01-13T14:43:00.000-08:00

Last night my son showed me the first of the 2 video clips below and told me it is going viral on Facebook. And at this moment of posting it has had 6,984,315 viewings. It is titled Why I Hate Religion, But Love Jesus - Spoken Word. It is quite good and I can see why it is so appealing to young people. And I gleefully cheer its raging success on the interwebs - its message is quite powerful and quite damning.

But what is a more powerful video clip in helping me explain why I, as an older person and a mom who has a gay child, hate religion with every fiber in my body is the It Gets Better video by EricJames Borges that follows the first clip. And I will explain why this second clip sends me into a seething rage filled with nothing but contempt for those who hate and bully and destroy in the name of God. So watch both clips and then join me for some final commentary afterwards - k?

Both are great clips - no? The first one has really caught fire with the younger crowd and I am glad - it has a message I think is great. And it does a stupendous job of exposing the right-wing sanctimonious frauds who claim to be Christians as the cruel, bigoted bullies many of them really are.

But it is the second clip that gets to parents like me and here is why:

Eric James Borges, 19, of Visalia, California, succumbed to suicide Wednesday, January 11, 2012. Known as EricJames to his friends, he was an intern with the Trevor Project, and a Supplemental instructor at the College of the Sequoias.

So I am going to do what I do a lot on this blog when words fail me and quote Andrew Sullivan's comments about "what fundamentalist Christianity and social ostracism can do to a human soul". As always, his words are profound:

Eric - after making this video and struggling to overcome the impact of this psychological and physical warfare against him - killed himself two days ago at the age of 19. His own mother had tried to exorcize the gayness out of him. His own mother.

You want to know why so many of us are so impassioned to change the world that effectively killed this human being, made in the image of God? To love and save the Erics of today, and to prevent the laws and culture that reduce him - and all that he is - to the word "faggot." And this is a task real Christians need to be in the vanguard of, rather than adding to the pain and torture that seeps into the lives of so many, so young, and so vulnerable.

Why is that so hard to understand? Can anyone doubt where Jesus would be in this battle?

Congratulations - You did it!

2012-01-04T15:48:00.000-08:00

You soloed!

And for those who are wondering ... yes, this is the son that inspired this blog. And for those who are curious what he looks like now ... he looks like this:

HAPPY NEW YEAR and MAY 2012 BRING EVEN MORE VICTORIES FOR OUR LGBT LOVED ONES

2011-12-31T17:54:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas from Scottsdale, Arizona

2011-12-24T21:25:00.000-08:00

Three things:

One: I want to wish you and yours a very happy, healthy, and safe holiday season.

Two: I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to show you just what we sane Arizonans have to put up with in this crazy state of gun nuts and right-wing crazies.

And three: Oh gawd no, the people below are NOT MY FAMILY and I haven't the foggiest idea who they are and I have zero desire to ever find out.

But this is supposedly an annual event offered by the Scottsdale Gun Club, a place not far from where I live. And what is really depressing is Scottsdale has generally had the reputation of being a city of well-educated, sane people who are fiscal conservatives, not gun nuts or religious crazies (and no Tucson, I'm not forgetting your suffering liberal masses down south, but I am limiting my disdain to greater Maricopa county - land of the three stooges: Sheriff Joe Arpaio, Jan Brewer, and Russell Pearce ).

The Gun-Bubba family

This is a parent with an attitude we all should emulate

2011-12-23T09:17:00.000-08:00

Via the most wonderful Sage who is hat-tipping this blog:

Sage - you were right - this totally made my day!

A heartfelt letter of apology from the MN gay community to recently resigned Republican Senate Majority Leader, Amy Koch

2011-12-22T12:34:00.000-08:00

Amy Koch, resigned MN Senate Majority
Leader and sanctimonious fraud

Quick back story:

MN Republican Senate Majority Leader and public champion of legislating everyone else's morals, Amy Koch, campaigns with fellow MN Republican legislators, including her (now former) staffer Michael Brodkorb, to put a state constitutional amendment on next year's ballot to define marriage as the union of one man and one woman, thus forbidding those evil gays from marrying the person they love and destroying good Christian one-man-one-woman marriages like Amy's.

And then lo and behold, little Miss Sanctimonious Fraud-ette gets caught defiling and de-sanctifying her own one-man-one-woman marriage and has to resign as Senate Majority Leader and vow not to run for Senate again.

Michael Brodkorb, former Koch staffer and
the alleged other half of Koch's "illicit affair"

So in response to this horrible tragedy that has befallen former Senate Majority Leader, Amy Koch, the gay community in Minnesota has issued a letter of apology:

Dear Ms. Koch,

On behalf of all gays and lesbians living in Minnesota, I would like to wholeheartedly apologize for our community's successful efforts to threaten your traditional marriage. We are ashamed of ourselves for causing you to have what the media refers to as an "illicit affair" with your staffer, and we also extend our deepest apologies to him and to his wife. These recent events have made it quite clear that our gay and lesbian tactics have gone too far, affecting even the most respectful of our society.

We apologize that our selfish requests to marry those we love has cheapened and degraded traditional marriage so much that we caused you to stray from your own holy union for something more cheap and tawdry. And we are doubly remorseful in knowing that many will see this as a form of sexual harassment of a subordinate.

It is now clear to us that if we were not so self-focused and myopic, we would have been able to see that the time you wasted diligently writing legislation that would forever seal the definition of marriage as being between one man and one woman, could have been more usefully spent reshaping the legal definition of "adultery."

Forgive us. As you know, we are not church-going people, so we are unable to fully appreciate that "gay marriage" is incompatible with Christian values, despite the fact that those values carry a biblical tradition of adultery such as yours. We applaud you for keeping that tradition going.

And finally, shame on us for thinking that marriage is a private affair, and that our marriage would have little impact on anyone's family. We now see that marriage is more than that. It is an agreement with society. We should listen to the Minnesota Family Council when it tells us that marriage is about being public, which explains why marriages are public ceremonies. Never did we realize that it is exactly because of this societal agreement that the entire world is looking at you in shame and disappointment instead of minding its own business.

From the bottom of our hearts, we ask that you please accept our apology.

Thank you.
John Medeiros
Minneapolis MN

And it is at times like this that I cannot help but think of parents like Jeff and Lori Wilfahrt who fought on behalf of their gay son and fallen soldier, Cpl. Andrew Wilfahrt to keep this odious amendment from going on the ballot in 2012. I just have to wonder if Amy Koch felt any guilt or shame when they testified in front of her and her fellow legislators in the halls of the Minnesota State Capitol. And the evil side of me also wonders how many other Republicans were also boinking someone other than their opposite-sex spouses while fighting to deny loving gay couples the right to marry the person they love.

Related:
And there is no shortage of anti-gay hate going on in my beloved Minnesota either

"Andrew’s Round Table" aims to defeat MN marriage amendment

Minnesota DFL: In All Its Different Forms...Family Is About Love

Of loaves and fishes by Jeff Wilfahrt

Minnesota Poll: 55% oppose ban on gay marriage

MINNESOTA: Openly Gay State Sen. Scott Dibble: What problem are we trying to solve here?

Another Minnesota Politician and Hero

Dear Minnesota,

Thank you Jeff and Lori Wilfahrt, your son would be so proud

Revisiting my Minnesota days and hoping that Minnesota doesn't lose what sets it apart from states like Arizona

Dear Willard

2011-12-13T19:15:00.000-08:00

How does it feel looking a veteran right in the eye and telling him that some people are more equal than others? I know, I know, you had NO IDEA this veteran was gay and that you were stepping in it big time - did ya? Well no matter bud, no one likes you anyway, so losing another huge swath of voters isn't really going to hurt you much. And what a cryin shame, you've twisted and turned yourself into such a laughable, pitiful, and embarrassing mess just to please a segment of your base (who's never gonna vote for ya anyway) and now you've gone and pissed off gay veterans and the people who love them. What a flippin fool you are Willard:

video platform video management video solutions video player

Hat tip to Jeff and Lori Wilfahrt - parents of a gay son who lost his life to an IED in Afghanistan last February so Willard could have the freedom to make a world-class jackass of himself.

UPDATE: Here is a follow-up interview with the gay veteran, Bob Garon, about his encounter with Willard:

The big dilemma the so-called "Christian" Right is going to have to pretend does not exist ...

2011-12-12T21:16:00.000-08:00

Newt with 2nd mistress turned 3rd wife, Calista,
enjoying the sanctity of marriage until
a better model comes along.

It is no secret - Newt Gingrich is a nasty, adulterous, hypocritical liar and fraud. His track record in politics is very public and very ugly, and I would argue the antithesis of every value the Republican party "claims" to hold near and dear. So it is no surprise that Newt has enemies, many of them from his own party, many of them who served with him when he was Speaker of the House, providing them with a bird's-eye view of just how rotten to the core ole Newt is. And yet, astonishingly, Newt is the current front-runner for the 2012 Republican candidate for President of the United States. And this has prompted some within his party to speak out about the creepiest huckster in American politics:

Conservative Republican Sen. Tom Coburn of Oklahoma bluntly stated his concern about the twice-divorced, thrice-married Gingrich during a Friday town hall.

"He's the last person I'd vote for for president of the United States,” Coburn said, per the Tulsa World. “His life indicates he does not have a commitment to the character traits necessary to be a great president."

Coburn said that Gingrich’s personal history indicates that he “doesn't know anything about commitment to marriage.”

But far more interesting than the Republicans willing to break Ronald Reagan's Eleventh Commandment and speak ill of a fellow Republican is the huge dilemma that a possible President Newt would present to those within the Republican party who supposedly place "Family Values", "Christian Values", and the "Sanctity of Marriage" above all else. How can this group of "Christians", who proclaim their commitment to these values every damn chance they can, vote for a man who is the friggin poster boy for everything they proclaim to detest?

Well ...

It appears that many of them detest Barack Obama more:

There’s an e-mail war raging among some of the nation’s leading evangelicals over whether Newt Gingrich has repented enough for his sins to be president.

One recent skirmish was set off by an open letter urging Gingrich to give a major speech confronting his perceived moral stumbles, including an affair with his third wife, Callista, while married to No. 2.

“You need to make it as clear as you possibly can that you deeply regret your past actions and that you do understand the anguish and suffering they caused others, including your former spouses,” Richard Land, public policy chief for the Southern Baptist Convention, wrote.

[...]

Rather than galvanizing the faithful, however, Land’s letter provoked an outcry from a handful of evangelical leaders who argued Gingrich has repented enough and deserves forgiveness.

[...]

On the same e-mail chain, which CNN obtained from a conservative activist, prominent Atlanta preacher Richard Lee said the nation’s evangelicals needed to support Gingrich.

Lee called Gingrich “the only forceful Christian candidate who can at this point be elected and cleanse the White House next November.”

Got that?

Andrew Sullivan sure did:

Don't you love that word "cleanse"? The current president is a devoted family man, devoid of any personal scandal, and a committed Christian, as his speeches and books testify to. And this must be "cleansed"? The reason is that Obama represents a more liberal and live-and-let-live version of Christianity, and believes in the separation of church and state. That's what needs to be cleansed (assuming we are not talking bald-faced racism here).

What Newt represents is the tip of the spear of the Christianist attempt to wipe separation of church and state out of the constitution. And in this struggle, the denominational differences do not count as much as the secular enemy. Gingrich is also not an old-style Catholic - in the Kennedy or Cuomo or Biden manner. He is an ideological Benedict XVI Catholic, bent on public and political Christianity as a means of saving what's left of civilization after the great Electro-Magnetic Pulse.

But wait! I am not done with the breathtaking hypocrisy of the Religious Right just yet. There are rumors that NOM (National Organization For Marriage), an organization whose very raison d'être is to "protect" marriage, might endorse old Newtie the adulterer for President of this God-fearin "Christian" nation. Now how's that for a cherry on top of a big pile of dung?

NOM has got to be one of the nastiest, most hateful and homophobic organizations out there. They spend millions of dollars, much of it secretly funneled from the Mormon and Catholic Churches, to supposedly protect the "sanctity" of marriage, which when translated from their lingo to reality simply means: keep those evil homos from ever having the right to marry the person they love. And yet, there's this pervasive rumor out there that they might support a candidate who is a serial adulterer, and on his third marriage? Now that would give us a crystal clear view of what their mission is really all about - wouldn't it?

Rick Perry is an Ass

2011-12-10T14:10:00.000-08:00

I know I am really late to this game (lots and lots of company), but the honest truth is, Rick Perry so repulses me I've decided to ignore him as much as possible. But because there have been so many great rebuttal video clips to the latest ridiculous ad put out by the "good" Christian Texas dim-bulb, I'm making an exception today. But first let's watch the idiotic ad that has racked up 568,476 (and counting) "dislikes" on the You Tube page (because someone was too stupid to turn that feature off) to a meager 16,634 "likes" and prompted TIME to write:

It (the ad) was clearly intended to elicit a strong reaction, and don’t think that that jaw-dropping comparison went unnoticed. In just a few days, the video garnered scores of negative reactions on YouTube and, at the time of writing, 399,152 dislikes. Just to put that into perspective, that’s more dislikes than viral star Rebecca Black’s video for “Friday” has received, and that song was the butt of endless jokes for months on end. Her official video is currently at 255,704 dislikes. She’s practically adored compared to Perry! (Though, to be fair, the Huffington Post points out that Justin Bieber’s “Baby” is the most hated clip by far, with more than 2 million dislikes.)

So if you haven't seen this ad yet, here it is:

And because there are too many really good rebuttal ads, some funny, some serious, some downright crude, to post here, I've decided to share one that I found especially powerful and sincere. I saw it over at TPC and I liked it so much I decided to share it over at my place as well. This clip should be a wake-up call to the GOP (but it won't be). These young ladies perfectly represent the next generation coming of age to vote and they don't look kindly on hijacking the Christian Faith for political purposes or demeaning and dehumanizing minorities for political gain:

And then there are the crude responses to Perry's dufus ad and because I have some of my kids home for the holidays and more on the way, I am feeling especially sophomoric and silly and goofy today, so I am posting one that definitely could be classified as potty humor on the back page. So you'll have to decide whether to click over and watch it or not. But honestly, it depicts exactly what I was seeing in my own mind (cellulite and dimples and all) as I watched this world class idiot preen in front of the camera, bragging about what a great Christian he is while acting like a world class hateful dumb-ass.

A Tennessee mom's thoughts on the impending "Don't Say Gay" bill before the state legislature

2011-12-07T20:00:00.000-08:00

Posted without commentary. This mom says it all without saying a word.

Via Jeff Wilfahrt

Related: Dear Tennessee, your lawmakers are homophobic fools ...

This breaks my heart

2011-12-04T22:20:00.000-08:00

This is a video clip made and posted by a bullied 7th grader last August. Apparently it is just now going viral. So I want to do my part to keep it going.

Via: JMG

Touching ad from Australia

2011-11-25T09:54:00.000-08:00

And it is quite lovely:

As my family comes together for Thanksgiving, it is hard not to think of families like the Wilfahrts

2011-11-23T14:43:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. For most of us, it is a day for families to come together, celebrate, and be thankful. But for some families, it is a sad day which only serves to magnify the pain and loss of a beloved family member.

There is one family in particular I'd like to honor and thank for their unwavering support of the lgbt community and its allies and that is the family of Cpl. Andrew Wilfahrt, an openly gay soldier killed last February in Kandahar at the age of 31.

Andrew was an amazing son, brother, and soldier. His death left a huge hole in the lives of everyone he touched. And yet, in spite of their loss and with wounds still so raw and paralyzing, Andrew's parents, Jeff and Lori, have chosen to continue the fight for the rights their son was denied simply because he was gay. They have chosen to continue the fight for the rights and dignity of my son and the lgbt sons and daughters of millions of other parents. For this momma, there is no greater gift.

So this Thanksgiving I want to honor and thank the Wilfahrt family for selflessly continuing to fight for rights their son never got to enjoy. There simply are no words to describe the magnitude of what they are doing.

Thank you Jeff and Lori.

At what point does extreme homophobia cross over to mental illness?

2011-11-21T18:07:00.000-08:00

I'd say at this point:

Pitiful.

Homeless LGBT kids at crisis levels

2011-11-21T17:36:00.000-08:00

From NPR today:

A number of studies of homeless youth in big cities put forth a startling statistic: Depending on the study, somewhere between 30 and 40 percent of homeless youths identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender.

It's largely because gay youths are more often kicked out of their homes than straight youths. And even if they are not kicked out, they may feel so uncomfortable that they leave.

In New York City, nearly 4,000 young people are homeless every night — many of them gay.

In New York city alone there are 3800 homeless kids on the street and only 250 beds to offer them. And according to AMERICAblog Gay even that piddly number of beds was being threatened by a budget deal which threatened to cut 100 of those beds. Truly horrific.

And as someone who has seen up close and personal the cruelty inflicted on gay kids in the name of "Christianity" (through my experiences at PFLAG and in my own family), I can only assume that a good number of these lgbt kids are discarded like trash by their families because it conflicts with their parents' so-called "good" Christian values. From NPR again:

Carl Siciliano is the founder and executive director of the Ali Forney Center, which he describes as the nation's largest organization dedicated to homeless LGBT youth. When he started the center almost 10 years ago, he says, "kids were dying in the streets; there was no shelter for gay youth; every couple of months, I would know someone who was murdered in the streets."

In the beginning, Siciliano's goal was just keeping kids safe. But as the years have gone on, he says, "it has become clear to me that we are living in a societal moment, where kids are coming out at younger and younger ages, and there are so many parents who can't be parents to their gay kids. They can't cope, they can't deal with it, their religion is in conflict with the reality of their kids' lives, and these kids are getting thrown away."

Here is a video clip titled, A Day in Our Shoes - Homeless LGBT Youth:

I don't know what the solution to this horrendous problem is, but I suspect so many of these "good" Christian churches could play a big role in helping to fix it. Sadly the will just does not seem to be there.

"I'm Christian, Unless You're Gay"

2011-11-21T16:58:00.000-08:00

Powerful, powerful, powerful!

You must read these two posts, in this order: First this. Then this.

And then, if you have a blog, please think about posting both these links. If you have a Facebook page or Twitter account- same deal. If you don't have any of these things, put ink in the printer and start printing or just open your mouth and start talking. These two posts are that important and that powerful. In fact this is soo important, I am seriously thinking about sending these posts to my "good" Christian brother and his "good" Christian wife, although I won't hold my breath while waiting for any miraculous epiphanies ...

Unhate Campaign - The film

2011-11-18T20:36:00.000-08:00

There is a lot going on in my life right now and unfortunately when that happens, it is this blog that gets neglected. I don't see much down time for the next few weeks, but I will try and sneak a post in here and there when I can. In the meantime, let me offer you this cool little clip from Benetton's Latest Campaign, which has managed to get the prissy little men in the Vatican so angry they are threatening to sue (over a picture of the pope kissing a Muslim leader).

Via JMG

Michigan state Senator Gretchen Whitmer is not letting Republicans get away with "creating a blueprint for bullying"

2011-11-09T21:19:00.000-08:00

This is a follow up to a post I wrote last week about "Matt's Safe School Law", which passed 26-11 with no (that's zero) Democrats voting for the anti-bullying bill. Why? Because the bill, named for Matt Eppling, a 14-year-old who committed suicide after being bullied by classmates in 2002, was changed to allow expression of religious or moral beliefs, basically giving a free pass to people who bully gay children in the name of God (yes, this is supposed to sound as hideous as it does).

Here is a great YouTube clip of Michigan's Children (led by Sen. Gretchen Whitmer) Speaking Out Against this Republican Pro-Bullying Legislation:

Dear 6th District of Minnesota

2011-11-07T13:56:00.000-08:00

Please, please spare yourself any more embarrassment and throw this pitiful, loathsome idiot out of office. The only way people like Michele Bachmann can even begin to comprehend someone else's pain is if they are feeling that pain themselves. So if this pitiful, sorry excuse of a congress woman and "representative" of the people cannot grasp the concept that one's unemployment status has jack-shit to do with one's work ethic --- especially in this Republican-caused recession, then she is not fit to hold office.

Please District 6, let Michele get a taste of unemployment - up close and personal - and maybe, just maybe, she will think twice before going in front of a CNN camera again and telling a country full of people who have lost their jobs, lost their savings, lost their homes, lost their health insurance, and lost all hope of ever achieving the American dream that if they do not work they do not get to eat.

Via JMG

Just a friendly reminder ....

2011-11-05T08:52:00.000-07:00

Awwwww - this is so lovely

2011-11-04T10:16:00.000-07:00

Via JMG: Conan Marries Two Gay Men

Michigan- what the hell is up with you?

2011-11-03T16:44:00.000-07:00

I just wrote a post this morning about about the Michigan Senate Republicans passing an anti-bullying bill that they had gutted and essentially made into a blueprint for bullying. It passed 26-11 with all the Democrats voting against it. It basically paves the way for those who bully the right kids (read: gay or perceived gay) to receive a get-out-of-jail-free pass with the Republican seal of approval stamped on it.

And now I am reading that the Michigan House of Representatives approved a bill, House bill 4770, in September that will strip domestic partner benefits for state employees —including staff at Michigan’s 15 public universities. Causing a big worry, according to the article, that this will cause a "mass exodus" (brain-drain) of professors and other valuable employees if passed in the Senate where it is currently under consideration:

U-M Latin professor Sara Ahbel-Rappe said that if bill 4770 passes there will likely be a large exodus of professors who leave the university.

“It’s a total slap in the face. It tells me that I don’t deserve the same consideration” as heterosexual couples, she said. “People will leave.”

Ahbel-Rappe and six other professors authored a letter to Gov. Rick Synder asking him not to sign bill 4770 if passed by the senate. The letter calls the bill discriminatory and says it will negatively affect staff recruitment at the university.

So as a parent of 3 college students myself, one of them gay, I can tell you in no uncertain terms, University of Michigan and any other state university in Michigan that would be affected by this bill would be immediately removed from the list of schools my kids would be considering. And we foot the bill, so yes, we have a say-so.

And I say this with a lot of certainty because when we found out our son, Michael, was gay, we happened to be right in the middle of figuring out which schools he was going to apply to for college. Once we learned Michael was gay, some schools came off that list, and others got added. And this was not just for Michael. It applied to our other children as well. We don't spend money on any organization that is discriminatory or homophobic. And we'll try damn hard not to spend money in any state that legislates which of its citizens are treated with dignity and respect and which are just plum out of luck (hello Michigan). Not one red cent!

So what was our criteria for picking worthy universities? Well first and foremost, safety. That was nonnegotiable and I can tell you right now, this anti-bullying law the Michigan state senate Republicans just passed would have been a deal-breaker, no question about it. Secondly, good professors and teaching environment. And this discriminatory bill 4770 under consideration by the Michigan Senate and already approved by the Michigan House would also have been a deal-breaker, no question about it. And lastly, a progressive state that treats everyone with dignity and respect, which immediately rules out Michigan because of criteria one and criteria two.

So too bad Michigan. You elect homophobes and bigots to your state government and guess what happens? You Lose.

And there is no shortage of anti-gay hate going on in my beloved Minnesota either

2011-11-03T11:39:00.000-07:00

Oh my, where to start....

First up on the MN anti-gay haters and shakers' agenda:

Minnesota For Marriage Announces Drive For Five!:

This campaign asks each person to obtain five pledges to support the ban in order to be considered for a prize drawing. Drawing winners will receive a $100 Visa gift card. The drawing will be held daily through the month of November.

Is it legal? Possibly. These organizations have gotten quite good at slithering close to, but not quite breaking laws in order to achieve their bigoted, hateful goals. But regardless, it is worth asking, and many bloggers are.

But here is the Minnesota state statute so you can decide:

Bribery, advancing money, and treating prohibited. A person who willfully, directly or indirectly, advances, pays, gives, promises, or lends any money, food, liquor, clothing, entertainment, or other thing of monetary value, or who offers, promises, or endeavors to obtain any money, position, appointment, employment, or other valuable consideration, to or for a person, in order to induce a voter to refrain from voting, or to vote in a particular way, at an election, is guilty of a felony. This section does not prevent a candidate from stating publicly preference for or support of another candidate to be voted for at the same primary or election. Refreshments of food or nonalcoholic beverages having a value up to $5 consumed on the premises at a private gathering or public meeting are not prohibited under this section.

Here is Minnesota For Marriage's Facebook profile (click the link to get a clearer look):

Facebook Profile

Next up on the MN anti-gay haters and shakers' agenda:

Bachmann, Kline send letter to Senate to block gay soldiers from using military facilities:

Reps. Michele Bachmann and John Kline were among the signers of a letter to the U.S. Senate urging that body to pass an amendment to the National Defense Authorization Act that would prohibit gay members of America’s Armed Forces from using military facilities for marriage ceremonies.

Well no surprises here. Because as we all know, Michelle Bachmann has built her political career on pure unadulterated gay hatred and homophobia. And she is banking on all that pure unadulterated gay hatred and homophobia to take her all the way to the White House. So why should we be surprised that the most ~~honorable~~ odious Michelle Bachmann would be first in line to strip rights from honorable gay and lesbian military members who fight for her right to be an ignorant, hateful homophobe?

And last up on the MN anti-gay haters and shakers' agenda (mainly because my stomach can't take any more):

NOM brings high-powered tea party lawyer to Minnesota in marriage ballot disclosure battle:

The National Organization for Marriage has tapped tea party attorney Cleta Mitchell as the organization’s Minnesota lobbyist during the state’s contentious 2012 battle over a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage.

Mitchell’s expertise is in campaign finance law and Minnesota for Marriage—of which NOM is a member—has already announced plans to challenge Minnesota’s finance law surrounding ballot initiatives.

I guess the possibility that donor names might be exposed is causing many of God's "loving" Christians to quake in their little bootsies. But rather than looking to the Almighty for protection, they are bringing in a Tea Party big gun attorney instead. JMG has more:

Mitchell has already written a letter to Minnesota's election board in which she claims that rabid homofascists will physically attack innocent Christians should their anti-gay donations be made public. Mitchell: "This regulatory scheme is unlawful, is not constitutionally sound, threatens NOM members, donors and supporters with personal injury and harm and the Board should cease immediately its efforts to rewrite Minnesota law to achieve this unlawful purpose."

A big thank you to Jeff Wifahrt for alerting me to all this MN anti-gay ugliness.

Related stories:
"Andrew’s Round Table" aims to defeat MN marriage amendment
DADT Cannot End Soon Enough!

CNN: Soldier leaves legacy much larger than 'he was gay'

Of loaves and fishes by Jeff Wilfahrt

Rachel Maddow Puts A Spotlight On Minnesota's Anti-Gay Marriage Constitutional Amendment And The Heroes In This Fight

Dear Minnesota,

Thank you Jeff and Lori Wilfahrt, your son would be so proud

A Republican's license to bully: "Matt's Safe School Law" gutted

2011-11-03T09:35:00.000-07:00

I am sickened. I am filled with rage. I am shaking so badly I can hardly type. Just when I think Republicans cannot go any lower or be any more putrid, I am smacked in the face with yet another example of just how bankrupt of morals, decency, and compassion this party is. Will I ever learn?

This morning's shining example of Republican vileness comes from the state of Michigan, where state Republicans senators prove yet again, they have no problem with a dead kid or two or three or ten, if they are gay or even perceived to be gay. Protecting our glbt children is NOT on their list of priorities, but protecting the bullies who beat the sh*t out of them, is.

There is though, a hero in this story and I am posting a clip at the end of this post (I need something to take some of the stench out of this post). It is an emotional speech given by Democratic Senator Gretchen Whitmer who stands up and calls out the Republican slimebags who gutted the "anti-bullying bill" meant to save children (gay or straight), but in her words, actually created a blueprint for bullying them (or at least the ones who might be gay):

From The Detroit News:

Lansing— The Michigan Senate passed an anti-bullying bill Wednesday over strong objections from Democrats and even the father of the bullying victim after whom the bill is named.

"Matt's Safe School Law" passed 26-11 with all Democrats voting against it. The bill is named for Matt Eppling, an East Lansing 14-year-old who committed suicide after being bullied by classmates in 2002.

The law includes a section noting it doesn't abridge First Amendment free speech rights or prohibit expression of religious or moral viewpoints — a provision Democrats fear could be used to justify harassment of gay, lesbian or transgender students.

"I am ashamed that this could be Michigan's bill on anti-bullying when in fact it is a 'bullying is OK in Michigan law,'" Kevin Eppling, Matt's father, whose letter was read by Sen. Glenn Anderson during Wednesday's session.

And here is clip of Senator Gretchen Whitmer shining the spotlight on her fellow Republican colleagues true intentions:

I wish coming out were always as easy as this

2011-11-02T17:17:00.000-07:00

This morning I had a phone conversation I was dreading with my ex-sister-in-law (originally from Alabama but transplanted to California after she married one of my 4 brothers and then here to Arizona after she divorced him). She and my brother have and share custody of an adorable and very bright 8-year old little girl. And she is spending this weekend with us, splitting her time between my mom's house and ours. I've been looking forward to it, but I was also starting to worry about some potential problems as well.

Our gay son is also in town and staying with us. He is doing some post-graduate work and will need to live here in Arizona for about 6 or 7 months to complete the program he is in. And of course this has meant he had to temporarily leave his boyfriend and his home, both in California, in order to get this done, an inconvenience they agreed they'd soften by alternating visits on days off.

Yesterday my son mentioned that his boyfriend has a 4 day weekend this weekend and would be coming to Arizona for their first visit. Now ordinarily I would not even give this a second thought, but I had not yet gotten around to telling my ex-sister-in-law that my son is gay. And despite my brother's assurances that his ex-wife would be fine with their little girl being around my son and his boyfriend, I still had a nagging little worry that this could present a problem for her. After all, I had already had one brother (my homophobic evangelical brother) tell me, in no uncertain terms, that I was NOT to bring my gay son and any boyfriend he might have around him or his family, which also includes an adorable 8-year old little girl. So I admit, I was a bit skittish about telling my ex-sister-in-law about my son being gay and his boyfriend's coinciding visit - hey - once bitten, twice shy as they say.

Well I worried for nothing. Telling her was a non-event. Not even a blip on the radar. And she said it would not be an issue for her daughter either. They have numerous gay friends, including a gay couple they visit and stay with in San Diego. The conversation could not have gone better and I started feeling badly that I had anticipated trouble -- partly because she was from Alabama and partly because of my other brother's nasty reaction.

Shame on me for not giving her the benefit of the doubt - lesson learned.

But the most delightful part of this story came in an email I got from my ex-sister-in-law a few minutes ago. She wanted to let me know that she spoke to her daughter and told her that her cousin Michael and his boyfriend Kyle would also be there when she came to visit. And her response was a question: "okay, are they called gay?" to which her mother said yes. She then followed that up with another question: "so what do we call opposite gender couples?" (and yes, she said "opposite gender" and not "opposite sex" when she asked the question - smart huh?) Simple curiosity, followed by thoughtful questions, followed by thoughtful answers. No horror, no drama, no damage, no fear. This will be a child prepared for a world full of diversity and wonder.

It all goes to show you, children are very adaptable. They are born without bias or phobias. It is we adults who instill our bigotry and hate in them. And I am very grateful, and a lot ashamed, that I so misjudged my ex-sister-in-law in such a big way.

Below is a clip that this whole incident reminded me of. And it is further proof that children will not break or be freaked out if they are exposed to deviations from societal norms:

I get letters...

2011-10-28T21:04:00.000-07:00

OK I am starting this post with another apology. My husband and I are visiting our son in Washington DC right now and I am without a very good internet connection, so posting is going to be light until I get home or find a better connection. I am attempting this post with great trepidation as the speed in which pages are loading is sooo slow I am about to throw a temper tantrum. So fingers and toes crossed that this works.

But anyway, before I left for the airport, I received a great email from Daniel, who describes himself as a straight Ex Mormon and a reader of this blog. He had read my earlier post titled Dear Mormon Church and wanted to let me and my readers know about a website called I Am An Ex Mormon. And what a treasure it is. So I am going to encourage you all to head over and watch all the great video clips they have posted there. And I can assure you they are nothing like the hokey, sappy commercials I wrote about in my "Dear Mormon Church" post. In fact the Ex Mormon stories are so good and so touching (and sometimes sad) that I have to believe the Mormon Church has got to be a tad bit nervous that some or all of these great clips could go viral. So I will help the cause by posting a few of them here, but please visit the website and check them all out and then spread the word. .

And let's all hope that someone gets really inspired by these wonderful Ex Mormon stories and starts a copycat site called I Am An Ex Catholic. I'd sure consider throwing my hat into that ring.

Well it is time to let the fun begin. Here is Jack's story:

And here is Steve's story:

And here is Emily's story:

And here is Mary's story:

Dear Mormon Church,

2011-10-25T15:55:00.000-07:00

Please don't fool yourselves into thinking that all those hokey commercials flooding the airwaves right now are going to calm everyone's fears about voting for a Mormon in the 2012 Presidential elections. I can tell you right now they sure as hell aren't calming mine.

Now don't get me wrong, ordinarily I would not give a rat's ass what a candidate's religion is, or whether a Mormon is a Christian, or even whether a candidate is an atheist. Under normal circumstances a candidate's religion or lack thereof would carry no weight with me. It would be all about who I think is the best man or woman for the job. But you, Mormon church leaders in Utah, changed all of that for me (and millions like me) when you decided to overstep the bounds of your temple by working tirelessly to enshrine your religious beliefs into another state's constitution. When you dumped boatloads of money and manpower into getting Prop 8 passed in California, effectively stripping gays and lesbians of that state, including my son, the right to marry the person they love, you made Mormonism a humongous issue for me. And lord only knows how many other states have your fingerprints all over their bigoted, homophobic laws. So make no mistake, it won't matter how many of those stupid sappy commercials you run, I WILL NEVER EVER VOTE FOR A MORMON for president. And if you think I am the only one who feels this way, then you are kidding yourselves.

And for those who have no t.v. and have no clue what I am talking about, grab a barf bag and watch at your own risk:

Hi, I'm Ron I spent most of my career working to put men and women into space. I'm a Mormon:

Hi, I'm Alex Boye I was born in London England. I am a Recording Artist. I'm a Mormon:

Hi, I'm Cassandra I am an Artist, a Wife, a Mother and I'm a Mormon:

I'm Joy. I'm The 2008 Longboard Champion, Love Jesus Christ & I Am A Mormon/Restoration Christian:

Dear Mitt Romney, Rick Perry, Herman Cain, Michelle Bachmann, Rick Santorum, and the rest of you bozos who think you can be President,

2011-10-24T11:22:00.000-07:00

This is a clip of Ireland's President Mary McAleese, who has just been recognized as Most Gay-Friendly Politician in Ireland. And this, my GOP friends, is what a real leader looks like:

How sad, this woman has more balls than all of you homophobic GOP buffoons combined.

VIA: JMG

The closet claims many victims, not just the occupant

2011-10-23T23:51:00.000-07:00

I never look back on my high school days and think of them as the best years of my life. They weren't. I was a late bloomer, fairly shy, and not a member of any of the popular cliques. I had a small circle of friends and I was content to just blend in. There were no scarring events, no cat fights with other girls, or anything else that would have traumatized me for life. They just weren't the best years of my life and waxing on poetically about them, as some of my friends seem to do, is not something you will catch me doing anytime soon.

But there are a few people from that period in my life that I still think about and wonder where they are and how they are doing. And one of those people was a popular and very charismatic guy named Eric Myers. Eric was both our adorable (at least I thought so) class-clown and our senior-class president and I know of no one who didn't like him. He was boisterous, funny, always smiling, mischievous, and very outgoing. And he made everyone feel like they were his best friend. He definitely made a whole lot of students' high school days a lot more fun and a lot more interesting.

Eric and I did not run around in the same circles, even though his circle intersected with just about everyone else's circle. But I felt I knew him well anyway. And I don't think I was the only one who felt that way. He just had that kind of personality that attracted everyone to him. I think everyone knew he was going to be something really great when he grew up. So it was absolutely no surprise that he won the election for senior-class president by a landslide.

Eric was also our class clown. He always kept us wondering what prank he'd come up with next. But I think he finally outdid himself the day he came to school and casually announced that he had legally change his first name from Eric to Lillevig. And he really had. Now who does that? Especially in high school. Well Eric Myers did and I don't think anyone even batted an eye. This was Eric after all and we'd come to expect the unexpected from ~~Eric~~, I mean Lillevig.

So flash forward a few decades to a few days ago. I am sitting at my kitchen table with a cup of hot morning coffee and I open up the newspaper and right there on the front page is an article, the first in a 3-part series, about Eric Myers. Part One is titled: Arizona man's disappearance leads to dead end, stunning twist. Part of me was not surprised that Eric would make the front page and the other part of me was shocked it took this long. I also could not help wondering: what has Lillevig done now?

I wish I could say the article was an uplifting confirmation of what all his classmates thought he'd become, but it was not. Far from it. In fact it read like a slow motion train wreck and the person they were describing as Eric sounded nothing like the person I so fondly remember from high school. It didn't come close to resembling the happy-go-lucky and fun-loving guy we elected as our senior-class president. In fact, quite the opposite. According to the article, Eric had become a very strict fundamentalist Christian, gotten married young, had 5 children (some of them adopted), and was a successful executive who was deeply in debt and very depressed. His 13-year marriage was falling apart, he was a physically and emotionally abusive husband and father, his wife and children had moved out, and divorce was imminent.

Eric Myers and his family (1991)

Part One then concludes by telling us that in the summer of 1991, as Eric's "carefully constructed life was crumbling", the "committed family man and hard-core conservative who lived a clean life modeled on a literal interpretation of the Bible" (his father's description) attended a real estate conference in San Diego and then seemingly dropped off the face of the earth, not to be seen or heard from for the next 17 years, leaving behind a shattered family, a very bitter & angry ex-wife, and devastated parents and siblings..

Eventually the family declares him dead, but the damage and highly charged emotions don't die with him.

Man, this was a lousy way to start the day. I was really depressed. And I had a terrible feeling I knew exactly why the guy I so fondly remember as a fun, carefree, wonderful, charismatic young man with so much potential had gone off the deep end.

Thirty plus years later, and with the wisdom that comes from being a mother, especially a mother who has a gay child herself, this story sounded painfully familiar. That fun, carefree, wonderful, charismatic young man I remember so fondly from high school was putting on an act. He wasn't laughing, he wasn't happy, and he definitely was not carefree. He was dying inside. And no one had a clue. Even the act of changing his name was a scream for help. Eric could not go on being Eric.

I wasn't sure I even wanted to read the next day's paper. My heart was hurting so bad for Eric, his children, his wife, his parents, and his siblings. I didn't need confirmation that Eric was gay. I was almost positive he was. All the telltale signs were there. And having had the very painful experience of watching my own deeply closeted son spend every waking moment of every waking day expending every ounce of energy he had, trying to be something he could never be, just to fit in and be loved and accepted, I knew that tomorrow's story would just be a painful confirmation of what happens when society forces its narrow definition of normal onto a diverse society. There will be many victims. It was not just Eric's life that was destroyed, but also the lives of his children, his wife, his parents, and his family and friends.

Part 2: Arizona man disappears: A secret revealed, a mystery unlocked:

Nearly 17 years after Eric disappeared, however, e-mails began arriving to family members written in a familiar voice. The messages were from Eric. And he wanted to come home.

The man once described by friends and relatives as an ardent Christian and dedicated father had pretended to be dead. He said he had no choice but to cut his family off, treat them as if he were dead. In a way, he said, he already was.

"My motivation for disappearing was death. I was dying inside," he wrote in a blog. "I was mentally ill, incapacitated by 34 years of careful hiding."

Eric grew up in privilege. He was the middle son of wealthy and influential Phoenix developer Don Myers. His family counted some of the Valley's most powerful figures among their friends. He had every advantage: money, connections, opportunity.

But Eric had a secret. He was homosexual. And he believed that he would never find acceptance with his socially conservative father. Eric said his father's crushing intolerance ruled their home. To be different was to be ostracized.

So Eric repressed the urges and told himself he could not be gay. Everything he did in life from grade school on - friendships, marriage, children, church, politics - was an attempt to convince himself that he was not gay, he said.

Part 3: Arizona man disappears: A legal battle, a lingering doubt goes on to detail all of the legal battles and anger that have resulted from Eric's disappearance. And none of it, not the legal battles nor the anger show any signs of going away any time soon.

An entire family imploded. A lot of people were hurt. A lot of people are really angry. There can be no denying the closet produces a lot of victims. But there are glimmers of hope too. If there is any lesson we can take away from this story, it is that we simply cannot go on denying the fact that when we force people to be something they are not, deny them the right to marry the person they love, shame them and strip them of dignity, rights, and worth unless they conform to what we want, we can expect many more tragic stories like Eric's and many more innocent victims too.

Here is an interview done recently with Eric:

"Andrew’s Round Table" aims to defeat MN marriage amendment

2011-10-20T23:27:00.000-07:00

I received an email today from Jeff Wilfahrt, father of Cpl. Andrew Wilfahrt, a gay soldier killed by an IED in Kandahar, Afghanistan back in February of this year. He wanted to update me and my readers on what he and his wife Lori are working on in their home state of Minnesota as they fight to defeat a marriage amendment that will be on the ballot in that state in 2012. More specifically, he wanted to let us know about a new group that has been formed called Andrew’s Round Table, named for their son, Andrew Wilfahrt. (Here is the group's Calendar of Events.)

The group was "launched to educate Minnesotans about equal marriage rights for same-sex couples". One group member put it this way:

“We wondered what a small group of straight people could do to honor our loved ones and make the future a little brighter for those young ones who feel hopeless or marginalized by this amendment,” she said.

The group’s mission is to change Minnesotans’ minds on LGBT equality: “Our main goal is to encourage thoughtful conversation on this issue.”

One of the group's first speakers will be Randy Roberts Potts, the gay grandson of famed televangelist Oral Roberts. Below is a sermon he gave at All Souls Church in Tulsa, Okla., about his experiences growing up gay at the evangelical compound created by his grandfather:

In spite of their tragic loss, Jeff and Lori have been traveling around the country sharing stories about their son and fighting for full equality for gays and lesbians not just in Minnesota, but in the entire country. Below is a moving speech Lori gave at the Outserve conference in Las Vegas on October 15, 2011:

Related stories:
DADT Cannot End Soon Enough!

CNN: Soldier leaves legacy much larger than 'he was gay'

Of loaves and fishes by Jeff Wilfahrt

Rachel Maddow Puts A Spotlight On Minnesota's Anti-Gay Marriage Constitutional Amendment And The Heroes In This Fight

Dear Minnesota,

Thank you Jeff and Lori Wilfahrt, your son would be so proud

Herman Cain is an ignorant, bigoted piece of crap

2011-10-20T10:44:00.000-07:00

Ok, I am seething with so much anger right now, I probably should not be posting this morning. But when I saw this clip of Herman Cain claiming that being gay is a choice, I fell to my knees and thanked the FSM that I was not in that studio because I'd have hopped that stage and smacked his smug, self-righteous face silly. What a profoundly stupid man.

I have had it with the ignorant, bigoted bullsh*t being spouted by these ignorant bigoted people who actually think they can be president of this country. I simply cannot wrap my mind around the idea that today, in the year 2011, with our economy in such disastrous shape, and so many of our citizens in economic ruin, that one of the major political parties in this country still thinks campaigning on a platform of bigotry and stigmatization of a significant segment of this country is a winning strategy. I truly feel I am living in an alternate universe. And the biggest tragedy of all is that Herman Cain has a lot of company in this batch of clowns running for the GOP nomination since pretty much all of them agree and take every opportunity they can to proclaim it.

I watched my young son struggle for years with something he just could not bring himself to share, something he struggled with every second of every day of the very years he should have been carefree and worry-free, something that not even professional counseling could pry from him. And people like Herman Cain believe all that agony was a "choice"?

Well Herman Cain, you are wrong. My son did not choose to be gay. And because of your profound bigotry and ignorance and the bigotry and ignorance of sanctimonious frauds just like you our son and so many other children just like him suffered for years in silence, alone, and in agony. And tragically many still do. And even more tragically many don't make it to adulthood. They kill themselves. So to watch you, Herman Cain, a GOP presidential candidate sit there on national t.v. and smugly proclaim, with certainty that could only have been pulled straight from your a**, that these children choose to be something that would make them a target for bullying, shaming, and demonization makes me realize just how unfit for public office you are. Being gay is not a choice sir, but being a ignorant, bigoted, idiot is.

More from the "We Do Campaign" in North Carolina

2011-10-13T10:25:00.000-07:00

Via JMG:

This campaign really appeals to me on so many levels. What makes it so powerful in my eyes is seeing the actual families who will be denied the same rights and protections every other family in North Carolina gets. And if that opening scene with the parents and their children looking at a family photo album and the children squealing with so much glee and pride as they point out the different members of their family does not stir up very similar memories of your own family, in your own kitchen, with your own squealing gleeful children, then I don't know what will.

I guess it is the ordinariness and the familiarity of that scene that so moves me. This family is so much like mine that if it was simply a soundtrack with no visual, I'd have thought it was my family. How can anyone deny those beautiful, happy, children and the loving men who have provided them the stability and security of a good home the same rights and protections everyone else in North Carolina enjoys? And for those who can, you need to re-watch the clip above and ask yourself what Christian and Family Values really mean to you.

Parents have to come out of the closet too

2011-10-12T12:12:00.000-07:00

Every year on October 11th we celebrate National Coming Out Day, "a day observed annually to celebrate coming out and to raise awareness of the LGBT community and civil rights movement". And it also serves as a good day, for those who feel ready, to come out of that corrosive, soul-crushing closet and tell their friends and family that they are gay.

But one thing most people do not realize until they are in the situation is that many of us parents who learn we have an LGB or T child immediately move into the closet from which our precious son or daughter just freed themselves. And that is what my husband and I did when we learned our son was gay. We deeply closeted ourselves and stayed there until we were able to regain our footing and come to terms with our new reality.

As is often the case, a child struggling with his sexual orientation will spend a long time, sometimes years struggling to come to terms with and get comfortable with their sexual orientation. And most of the time, this all happens in a complete one-person vacuum (closet) with massive energy and deception expended to guard their secret from discovery, so when that child does finally come out (or as happened in our case- a parent or family member finds out accidentally) it is an unexpected shock that can feel like your world has just been turned upside down and had the bajeezus shook out of it. And many of us (though not all) go rushing into that closet and begin the task of getting comfortable with and accepting our new reality, gathering the courage to start telling close friends and family, and hoping the sky does not fall and our lives will continue on as usual.

I have written about my husband and my coming out process before, here and here. And though I could never ever claim it to be as traumatic an experience as what our children must go through, I can say it is still a very difficult process full of nasty possibilities for destroyed friendships and very damaged family relationships and it will go on and on throughout our lives as we meet new people or reconnect with old acquaintances. But fortunately, we parents are adults and we have the emotional maturity and skills, a lot more years of life experience, and the financial independence to handle whatever happens after full disclosure without worrying about abandonment and having to make our way alone and unprepared. Our children do not yet have those luxuries.

Happily, in my husband's and my case there has only been one casualty in our "coming out" experience thus far and that was my relationship with one of my four brothers, and his reaction was certainly not a surprise - being that he is the "good" Christian in the family, I expected a full-out disaster when he found out, and I got it (I have written of this here, here, and here so I will not waste any more time or energy on this sad chapter). Thankfully telling my other 3 brothers and my husband's siblings and cousins did not even cause a blip on the radar screen. But then these are educated, loving, and open-minded people and that always makes a difference.

I guess what I am trying to say in this wordy post can be boiled down to this: National Coming Out Day is NOT just for our LGBT children, it is for everyone and anyone who has a gay loved one. Visibility is our best weapon. When people know a gay person or someone who has a gay loved one, it becomes much harder to discriminate against them. Putting a face on the religious right's scary gay boogeyman is the best way to neutralize the enemy. For some of us that closet was an awful necessity, but coming out of it is also a necessity.

We Do Campaign - Asheville, NC

2011-10-12T10:07:00.000-07:00

As anyone who stays current on LGBT news knows, North Carolina's state legislature just recently agreed to let the voters of their state decide whether some of their fellow LGBT North Carolinia citizens should have the same rights and protections they have. But hey --- we all know how well allowing a majority to decide the rights of a minority has worked out in the past ---- especially in the south --- they even have a name for it: mob rule.

But in all fairness, one must give accolades to North Carolina for holding out this long in not joining ranks with their fellow bible-thumpin, self-righteous, gawd-fearin southern neighbor states in enshrining homophobia and second-class citizenship into their constitution. And we must also realize that progress towards full marriage equality for our LGBT brothers and sisters must start somewhere, so why not in North Carolina or Minnesota, both of whom will have gay marriage amendments on the ballots in the near future?

So with that said, I find this Southern Equality campaign quite powerful. And I don't mind admitting it made me tear up a bit:

And I gotta ask, isn't it ironic that the very people who have been steadily succeeding in stripping rights and dignity from their fellow American citizens in the name of their God and their religious beliefs are the very people who have the highest divorce rates (highest divorce rates in the bible-belt south)?

Torturing your own child in the name of God

2011-10-11T09:02:00.000-07:00

I am horrified by the story this young man tells and that it happened at the hands of his own father, a Southern Baptist missionary, is simply unimaginable to me.

From the Daily Mail:

'Tiny needles were stuck into my fingers and I was electrocuted': Victim of Baptist gay conversion therapy describes how he was tortured at 12:
Beaten repeatedly by his father after innocently telling him, aged 12, that he was attracted to his friend
Told he had AIDS, that he was the only gay person in the country and the government would kill him if they found out
Hands burned and frozen with ice while he was shown images of men hugging
Electrocuted for a month while shown explicit pictures of men
Has since been excommunicated by his family and warned by his father that he will shoot him if he ever comes home

Guess what tomorrow is?

2011-10-10T22:04:00.000-07:00

National Coming Out Day

If you feel safe doing so, please consider coming out of that horrible stuffy closet. Visibility is hands down the best weapon we have in combating ignorance and fear. It is much easier to hate the concept of an evil gay boogeyman than it is to hate a living breathing person who is actually no different than anyone else. And besides, wouldn't you just love being those Religious Right homophobic heathens' worst nightmare? Well when you are out, loud, and proud you are just that. Those sanctimonious frauds want nothing more than to keep you hidden, dehumanized, and as miserable as possible.

And if it is not the right time for you to do this, no worries, we will love you no matter what. Your safety is more important than anything else. One day the time will be just right and when it is, we will be waiting for you with arms wide open.

Star Parker: We Are Sick As A Country

2011-10-08T16:05:00.000-07:00

Wow, I've never heard of this woman before, but I sure wish I could beam myself back to those few moments before I clicked the play button on this video clip. Those are 2 minutes and 20 seconds of my life I will never get back. And I won't even talk about the thousands upon thousands of brain cells that I lost while listening to this woman's homophobic hate-infused drivel. Oh man, I need a good brain scrub.

Watch at your own risk:

One more point I'd like to make, this woman is a speaker at the Values Voter Summit, a must-attend event for any Republican Presidential hopeful. And this woman, along with every other homophobe and hater in the name of God, is part of the crowd that Mitt Romney and Rick Perry and the rest of these GOP candidates must woo and win over. So it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out why homophobia and hate are still a winning platform for any goon who wants to run for president as a Republican. This Summit truly is the belly of the beast.

Yes, I disappeared again - I needed a break - seething can be quite exhausting

2011-10-08T09:07:00.000-07:00

And sadly, I come back and not only has nothing changed while I was gone, but the crazy is amping up. There can be no denying it, one of our major political parties has gone completely off the rails. Just imagining one of those GOP presidential candidates as the next President of the United States absolutely terrifies the holy hell out of me and sends me back to the security of my bedroom where I can curl up in a fetal position and cry.

I cannot describe the mixture of emotions I feel when I watch the current GOP presidential candidates compete to out-crazy each other. And then to watch the audience eat it up with so much glee just makes my stomach turn. Who are these ~~freaks~~ people?

To think that today, just a little over a year away from the 2012 presidential elections, one major political party in this country still finds running on a platform of pure unadulterated homophobia political gold is just mind-numbing and devastating. Do these people not realize that for every glbt American they want to strip of dignity and worth there is a mother, a father, sisters, brothers, and other relatives, not to mention friends and acquaintances who love them?

Now my rational self knows why this stage of the game is so crazy, but the idea that a party could have a fringe to their base that is so vile and so putrid that they can only be satiated and aroused when the conversation turns to executions, letting uninsured people die, booing gay soldiers in Iraq, and promises of reinstating DADT is really depressing. Is winning the nomination for the party so important that one must sell their soul to please people who should be shunned, not courted? I guess if you are a Republican the answer is a resounding YES.

Let me finish with some YouTube reminders of what the Republican Party has become:

Herman Cain telling the women on the view that being Gay is a choice. And for his ignorance and homophobia, he is rewarded with escalating poll numbers:

Michelle Bachmann bragging about being a better homophobe than the others:

Rick Santorum promising to reinstate DADT after the audience boo'd a gay soldier in Iraq asking the candidates a question about DADT. No "thank you for your service", no admonishing the heathens in the audience, no anything that even resembled presidential material, just the same ignorant lunacy we've come to know and hate about this has-been politician, no wonder Mr. Santorum has a Google problem - he earned it quite honestly. Embedding has been disabled by request so you'll have to click over to watch this piece of nastiness if you haven't seen it already.

And then there is the slippery, snake-oily, spineless, plastic-y Romney refusing to take a stand on the booing of gay soldier in Iraq:

And just a quick reminder of whom Rick Perry chooses to rub elbows with:

And last, but certainly not least, the candidate who could have been our Vice President in 2008 and has finally spared this country further embarrassment and bowed out of this race (I hate you John McCain and I shall never forgive you for inflicting this emotionally stunted shrew on this country). This is a must-watch:

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

And finally, a quote from Andrew Sullivan that I found quite appropriate for this post:

Today's GOP, for example, favors repeal of the repeal of DADT, a constitutional amendment to ban all relationship rights for gay couples, criminalization of all abortion including cases of rape and incest, the undermining of evolution in education, disbelief in climate change, support for torture, cheers for the death penalty, and a global Judeo-Christian war against Islam.

First day post-DADT - soldier calls home: "Daddy I'm Gay"

2011-09-20T17:04:00.000-07:00

Well I'm sure glad no one can see me since I have mascara running down my face. This video clip really riled me up. First because he was taping this phone call and there was no way of knowing how his dad was going to react and then because .... well ... watch it and see for yourself.

Some nice comments on the YouTube page too:

In the Army and Im not gay. Proud to have you in the armed forces. We are brothers and Im glad you dont have to live in the closet anymore. Hoorah.
How courageous. Good for you! Glad you don't have to live in fear anymore over anyone's ignorance. What a GREAT FATHER!!!!! And people on here clearly FEAR the stupidest things.
Dude, this is cool. I mean he's in the army, so that's cool. Cool southern sounding dad. Ya know and you're cool. Being gay is fine man.
Are you aware that you're front page news on Yahoo! right now? I've said that you're amazing this whole time, but...congratulations, my good man.
You are an amazing person. Brave is not an adequate word to describe you. Something much better must be created specially for you.

And kudos to this wonderful young man's "Daddy". I wish he were close enough to hug.

And last but definitely not least, I dedicate this post to two more amazing parents who cannot be honored enough, Jeff and Lori Wilfahrt, the Minnesota parents who lost their son Andrew to an IED in Kandahar, Afghanistan this past February. They are my heroes. And I am hoping and praying that they are doing ok on this very bittersweet first day of no more DADT.

UPDATE: ABC follows up on this emotional story. And by the way, dad had no idea his son was taping the call or that he had posted it to YouTube:

The Clock is Ticking for Repeal

2011-09-19T21:04:00.000-07:00

And JMG provides us with the Official Notice Of DADT Repeal:

Is it that obvious?

2011-09-14T12:59:00.000-07:00

Via: JMG

Always liked Clint Eastwood and this is why ...

2011-09-14T12:58:00.001-07:00

Clint Eastwood

Yes yes, I know, he has always been a Republican. But as the man himself says:

“I was an Eisenhower Republican when I started out at 21, because he promised to get us out of the Korean War.

“And over the years, I realized there was a Republican philosophy that I liked. And then they lost it. And libertarians had more of it. Because what I really believe is, let’s spend a little more time leaving everybody alone.” (emphasis mine)

But here is what really captured my heart and ensured my undying admiration and love for the man:

"These people who are making a big deal about gay marriage? I don’t give a fuck about who wants to get married to anybody else! Why not?! We’re making a big deal out of things we shouldn’t be making a deal out of. Just give everybody the chance to have the life they want."

He also ripped the GOP by telling GQ Magazine that "that Republicans should cut out the 'sanctity crap' when it comes to gay marriage." Although this mamma doesn't think she can improve much on Mr. Eastwood's advice, I'd actually go one better by telling the GOP to cut the "sanctity crap" when it comes to everything.

As the wife of a former Marine

2011-09-14T12:58:00.000-07:00

This could not make me any more proud:

And from KMTR Eugene:

The Army general who co-directed a study on ending the ban on gays serving openly in the military says he thinks repeal will prove "pretty inconsequential."

[...]

But he says that inside the military, the prevailing attitude likely will be business-as-usual, with no call for further debate about the merits of repeal.

But for the Religious Right Neanderthals it will never be business as usual, it will be yet another reason they will long to go back to the dark ages where women were barefoot and pregnant, gays, lesbians, non-virgins, and anyone who didn't fit their idea of normal were either stoned to death, shunned or imprisoned and the white man reigned supreme.

Reason number 1,000,001 for why I loathe with every fiber of my body the Republican Party

2011-09-08T11:27:00.000-07:00

When I saw this video clip of Rick Perry staunchly and proudly defending his state's liberal use of the death penalty and the audience's very loud applause in response, I was stunned and horrified. My first thought was "this is the party of pro-life and Christian values?"

This clip pretty much chrystallizes for me in one minute and eleven seconds why this party deserves to be treated like a cult of bloodthirsty, insane lunatics and sent to the wilderness for more than a few elections cycles.

If you have not yet watched the clip, I am providing you the opportunity now. Just looking at any of these GOP presidential ~~candidates~~ morons makes my stomach turn (with maybe the exception of Huntsman - although by the time he gets done kissing the boots of the tea party crazies, I suspect he'll make me wretch as well).

And I am not alone in my revulsion. A couple more reactions here (and there are many more where these came from:

Ta-Nehisi Coates: Apparently people were shocked by the applause here. The only thing that shocked me was that they didn't form a rumba line. It's a Republican debate. And it's America. Perry's right--most people support the death penalty.

E.D. Kain: [W]hen Perry is asked about the two-hundred and thirty some people he’s executed on death row during his governorship, the audience bursts into applause. Torture, war, and death, and this is the “pro-life” party. I submit to you that this moment is perhaps the most telling since George W. Bush left office; that the modern Republican party is not only intellectually bankrupt, but morally bankrupt as well.

9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals rules Arizona same-sex partners entitled to benefits

2011-09-07T09:42:00.000-07:00

Arizona’s chief hatemonger and bigot, Cathy Herrod, is probably not having a very good day today. One of her pet projects, demeaning-dehumanizing-and stripping gays and lesbians of all rights and dignity- has suffered a serious setback today. Seems those dirty, rotten, libruul, activist justices on the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals have decided that "denying them [health-care benefits] to a specific group of employees violates the equal-protection provisions of the U.S. Constitution".

Yup Cathy, you lost this round, but I know you. Your cup runneth over with hate, homophobia, and a strong need to police everyone else's morals. So I harbor no illusions. This ruling only emboldens you. Cuz there's no keeping a good ole homophobe like you down. But your time is running out, public opinion is turning. Hate and bigotry just doesn't have the same shine to it that it used to.

Sorry Cath. Hope the heartburn doesn't get too bad for you today. But rest assured my day is going to be great.

“Primetime Nightline” Goes Inside the World of Transgender Kids

2011-08-30T23:21:00.000-07:00

Update: I just received word from one of the facilitators I work with at PFLAG that ABC has just contacted him to let him know that they have decided to cut out the segment on the Phoenix family and their child, Nathan. They have decided to dedicate an entire hour to Nathan and his family's story and will air that documentary in 2 weeks. I will post the new date and time when I know it.

I have become increasingly involved with PFLAG Phoenix and one of the things I have noticed is the dramatic increase of individuals and families of individuals who are dealing with transgender issues who are coming in to support meetings. But what has been most striking for me is how young some of these individuals coming in are. Many are young children and the parents are long past the "it's just a stage" phase of the journey.

Well on Wednesday, August 31 at 10:00pm ET (9:00pm AZ time) "Primetime Nightline" will be airing a one-hour long program documenting the remarkable journeys of three families, one of them a family from Arizona, who has been very active with PFLAG Phoenix.. Here is a brief description of each of the three families:

Jackie is a 10 year old from Ohio who was originally born as Jack. As a toddler, Jack was drawn to his sister’s dolls and clothes, and enjoyed dressing up in tutus. At 10 years old, with tears in his eyes, he told his parents “I’m a girl on the inside.” Within months, with his parents help, Jack becomes Jackie. She now attends school as a girl, wearing girl’s clothing, heels, and makeup. We watch as Jackie navigates her transition and meets relatives for the first time as a girl. Soon Jackie will begin taking puberty blockers, a controversial treatment, which will prevent her from going through male puberty.

Nathan is a 15 year old living in Arizona and was originally born Natalie. Always feeling out of place as a girl, he came home from his first day of pre-school to tell his mother, “I’m a boy.” He started dressing in gender neutral clothing in pre-school. As Natalie grew up, her parents became convinced this wasn’t a phase and are now helping him transition. We watch as Natalie changes his name to Nathan in court and prepares to start testosterone treatment, which will give him physical attributes of a boy. Harassed into home schooling, Nathan has no friends his own age. Cynthia McFadden introduces him to his transgender idol Chaz Bono, who offers him and his family a few words of advice and hope.

Vanessa is 19 years old living and working in New York City. Vanessa was born as Pierry. At first, her immigrant family had a difficult time accepting their son as their daughter, but now that she has decided on surgery, they have come to support her. But neither the family nor Vanessa can afford the transition, so she has turned to prostitution to pay for the body she feels she should’ve been born with in the first place. We go along with her to Guadalajara, Mexico, where a wad of $6500 cash will buy her six surgeries in two hours as she struggles to become the woman she’s always wanted to be.

Set your DVR if you have one. I've been aware for quite some time that ABC has been filming this show as there was some filming done at support meetings (with permission from participants of course). It is my understanding there could be some scenes in which PFLAG members are included (depending on editing). I will not be one of them, but I will be watching the finished product though.

This - dealing with our transgender brothers and sisters and helping them through the huge challenges they face - is most definitely our next big battle. And I use the possessive pronoun "our" because I mean anyone who believes in full equality for everyone regardless of whom they love or whether the gender they present to the public matches the biological body they were born in. So I intend to be right there on the front lines fighting to make life better for our transgender brothers and sisters and their families, just as I have been for our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters. We are all in this together.

Please watch this program if you care about this issue. It is only an hour long and hopefully well worth the time it takes to watch. Educating ourselves on the very complex challenges facing these people is very important.

Update: Here is a link to an ABC's preview of this show.

Oh what a difference 7 years can make...

2011-08-26T13:50:00.000-07:00

In 2004 George W. Bush made protecting the sanctity of marriage a central platform of his re-election campaign. He endorsed the Federal Marriage Amendment, "a proposed constitutional amendment that would define marriage for all of the states as strictly heterosexual". And he ran on this blatant homophobia knowing full-well that it would appeal to the right-wing evangelical crowd and motivate them to show up and vote. He was right, they did.

Now flash forward to the present and take a gander at the 2012 crop of GOP ~~goofballs~~ presidential hopefuls. It doesn't take much time listening to their spiels before one gets the sense that pretty much every one of them (with maybe the exception of Jon Huntsman) are hoping to use the same playbook Bush used and achieve the same results he did.

But ... this ain't 2004 and the ones getting mocked, demeaned, and laughed at are no longer the members of the glbt community, but the GOP homophobes who think this is still a winning strategy. It's not. And this is not just my humble opinion either, I've got company:

Could this be the biggest gay-bashing election in recent history? Doubtful, since President George W. Bush set such a high bar in 2004. Quite the contrary: Call me an optimist, but I see such highly publicized gay-baiting as a positive development.

Why? Not so long ago, the virulently homophobic views offered by some candidates were treated almost as viable alternatives to the positions taken by less anti-gay politicians. It was as if all those views came from the same menu of Reasonable Points of View Worth Debating. Now, the radical ideas espoused by Bachmann, Perry, Santorum and others are held up not for genuine consideration but for scorn (notwithstanding the last GOP debate in Iowa). Perry's and Bachmann's views aren't weighed against President Obama's "evolving" stance on same-sex marriage; rather, they are simply ridiculed. It says as much about our society as it does the candidates.

It gets better indeed.

And then there's this very entertaining video clip highlighting what fools these people are making of themselves. I just can't help believing people with this magnitude of homophobia and hate are a bit off mentally, but again, this is just my humble opinion. Watch and laugh, mock, and demean. It's our turn now:

Slacking again - sorry about that, but I don't have much to say

2011-08-23T23:00:00.000-07:00

So a story about a minor incident that occurred today at the gym I go to will have to suffice - and I warn you now - it is not very exciting, but at least it's not about the earthquake that shook the eastern part of this country today.

Let me start by saying that living in Arizona, surrounded by a lot of retired wealthy people who feed on a steady diet of Fox News and CNBC is hard. But it certainly presents a lot of teaching moments as well. These people most definitely lean way to the right side of the political spectrum and fear of losing their hard-earned money to "socialistic" ideas like supporting the "moochers" and "deadbeat lazy leeches" is their main concern, with fears of "illegal aliens" and Obama taking their guns away running a close second.

I confess, it is often really, really tough to maintain my composure when having a conversation with some of these people, but I work damn hard at doing just that. You see, I actually like most of these people. Deep down, they are pretty decent people (other than their odious political views), so I work really hard to keep my cool and not lose it. Listening to them parrot the nonsense drivel they've heard from the likes of Bill O'Reilly or Sean Hannity gets kind of old, but it's really a small price to pay if I can maintain a friendship and possibly change their minds on an issue or two.

I listen, I engage them in spirited debate, and I remain respectful and calm (which for me can be a real challenge, cuz I can be a hothead). I make damn sure I have my facts down straight. I have no idea if I succeed in moving any of these people to reconsider their stances, but I do know I get them to think of things in a new light. So who knows? I may occasionally be changing some hearts and minds along the way.

But today something happened that really got me ticked. And I almost lost my cool. A gentleman I've known for many years came over to say hi. He had a bunch of band-aids all over his face and arms and when I asked him what had happened he told me he'd just been to the dermatologist and had a bunch of skin cancer excised or frozen. The many years of unprotected sun exposure had finally come back to haunt him.

I asked him who he went to and if he liked him. He scrunched up his face and gave me the doctor's name and told me he wasn't crazy about him. When I asked him why, he told me he was too gay.

Uh boy. I had to take a very deep breath before responding. And upon exhaling I asked him if it was because the doctor was gay that he felt the man was a bad doctor. He got very defensive and very embarrassed and quickly began assuring me he really wasn't homophobic or anything like that. And then he added that he had a hard time talking to this doctor and that is why he thought he wasn't a good doctor, to which I responded that maybe it was him that had the problem and not the doctor. He looked me in the eye and said, "maybe you are right".

Did I give him food for thought? I'm not sure. Will he make a homophobic remark like that to me again? For his sake, I hope not. But one thing about this conversation did give me hope. I don't believe this man is a froth-at-the-mouth homophobe, confronting him on his discomfort being around a gay man embarrassed him. Real homophobes wear their homophobia with pride. This man did not.

From the desk of the Great State of Texas: I'm soooo sorry y'all ...

2011-08-17T09:21:00.000-07:00

We've been warned ...

Is being a skilled liar with convenient short-term and long-term memory loss a prerequisite for "good" right-wing evangelical Christians?

2011-08-16T09:24:00.000-07:00

Because if it is, Michele Bachmann is one damn good evangelical Christian. Her latest big, fat lie? She doesn't judge gays and lesbians. What a lying idiot! Has she not heard of "the internets" or "the google"? Just do a google search using the search phrase "michele bachmann gays" to see the scope of her blatant dishonesty. It is literally months' worth of hateful, foam-at-the-mouth homophobic reading. Fer cryin out loud, she based her entire political career on homophobia.

Well all I can say is she better watch out, because a bigger, better buffoon has come along to woo the feeble-minded masses. I can't help but believe her days in the spotlight are coming to an end. And then her days as an out, loud, and proud bigot and homophobe can resume.

If you are a so-called "principled" Republican who is still hanging in there with your beloved party, be afraid, be very afraid.

Bush on steroids?

2011-08-15T22:11:00.000-07:00

Seeing this lovely piece of artwork sure made my stomach do some major flip-flops this morning. My thanks to the source of this frightening picture for that (but do go over and give him a look-see - he's got a good sense of humor in spite of the scary subject matter).

So the question is this, will a Rick Perry presidency be another 4 to 8 year nightmare similar to or worse than what we endured with Bush? Well after watching Rick Perry finally throw his hat into the GOP presidential candidate ring and then act like a hayseed country bumpkin in Iowa, I got a real bad case of deja vu just thinking about another all-hat-no-cattle Texan in the White House. Can you even imagine the round-table discussions a President Rick Perry would have with right-wing religious extremists like James Dobson, Tony Perkins, and Maggie Gallagher? They'd have a field day with public policy, social issues, and delving into our private lives (for our own good - of course).

Good gawd, I don't think I could handle another delusional Christian-right extremist boob of a president who rails about the evils of "big government" and how we don't need it ---- but can't wait to mandate abstinence-only education, anything that will deny the glbt community rights and dignity, and anything that will keep women from having control of their own bodies.

And I don't know about you, but I watched this clip of an old interview with Rick Perry and I could not help but think of Bush. Watch it and see what you think:

Watch live video from texastribune on Justin.tv
Between all the preening and mugging on hay bales in Iowa these past few days and the video above, I really can't help drawing comparisons between Bush and Perry. And it really gives me the heeby jeebies. They both have that obnoxious aw-shucks Texas twang that makes me gag, They both sport that same smug look of certitude - even when they are dead wrong. They both have that same blind faith in failed ideology. They both seem to have a tremendous capacity to completely ignore any facts that contradict what they believe in. Oh, and they both have that same cocky, I'm-right-cuz-I-got-God-on-my-side smirk that makes me want to jump through the tv screen and smack em silly.

Ugh, I just cannot allow myself to even think of the possibility of a Perry presidency. It's just too much to process. I won't let myself go there. I simply can't!

SEEMS I'M NOT ALONE:

AND IT SEEMS JON STEWART IS ALSO ON THE SAME PAGE:

The Daily Show
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Lazy, depressed, disgusted, and completely without motivation. Oh and seething too...

2011-08-09T09:25:00.000-07:00

Which is why I am not posting much lately. So here is this lazy blogger's solution to posting until I pull myself out of this slump:

Today's the big day: Texas Gov. Rick Perry holds his big "prayer rally” in Houston

2011-08-06T08:14:00.000-07:00

Since rumors are flying fast and furiously that Gov. Rick Perry is going to throw his 10 gallon hat into the ~~clown car~~ 2012 GOP Presidential Contenders' ring any day now, I think we should take a look at who the good guv has invited to his "prayer rally".

Now I happen to think that anyone considering a run for President of the United States deserves extra scrutiny. And who that person associates with becomes quite relevant to me.

Here is Right Wing Watch's description of today's rally:

On August 6, Texas Gov. Rick Perry will host The Response, a “prayer rally” in Houston, along with the extremist American Family Association and a cohort of Religious Right leaders with far-right political ties. While the rally’s leaders label it a "a non-denominational, apolitical Christian prayer meeting," the history of the groups behind it suggests otherwise. The Response is powered by politically active Religious Right individuals and groups who are dedicated to bringing far-right religious view, including degrading views of gays and lesbians and non-Christians, into American politics.

In fact, a spokesman for The Response has said that while non-Christians will be welcomed at the rally, they will be urged to “seek out the living Christ.” Allan Parker, a right-wing activist who participated in an organizing conference call for the event, declared in an email bearing the official Response logo that including non-Christians in the event "would be idolatry of the worst sort."

Perry told James Dobson that the rally was necessary because Americans have “turned away from God.”

Right Wing Watch also does a thorough job documenting the radicalism of the extremists who have received invitations from Gov. Perry to play lead roles in this rally. It is well worth the time to click over and read about the people Gov. Perry chooses to rub elbows with, especially now that he is thinking about running for our President.

Chris Mathews does a piece on this as well:

My kinder, gentler evangelical "friend" responds ...

2011-08-05T08:33:00.000-07:00

I received an email yesterday. It was a response to an ongoing thread of comments to one of my earlier posts. But I did not read the email until late in the evening. And I confess, it upset me to my core and made going to sleep almost impossible.

So now I have to ask, was I just a naive fool to have believed that this guy was sincere, have I been had? Is this guy for real? I simply cannot believe he could present himself as someone who does not hate gays and apologize for those evangelicals who are so hateful and then proceed to use words like pedophilia and hebephilia to discuss my gay son and his "disorders".

So if you'd like to see this guy's version of a "loving", non-hateful, evangelical, go here. Word of warning, proceed with caution. You have been warned.

Mitt Romney signs NOM's anti-gay campaign pledge joining homophobic nutcases Michele Bachmann and Rick Santorum

2011-08-04T15:17:00.000-07:00

I sure hope you gave your decision to jump on NOM's crazy bus a lot of thought Mitt. Cuz looking at the whack-jobs you join on that bus, Rick Santorum and Michele Bachmann, or Crazy Eyes and Frothy Mix, as Joe My God refers to them, certainly seals your fate in the eyes of many as just another right-wing, anti-gay lunatic and complete joke. I guess we shall know you by your Magic Underpants since that will be the only thing that sets you apart from Michele and Ricky.

So what's next Mitt? Forced divorces for those who are already married?

What a pathetic idiot you are Mittster, joining the ranks of those who simply cannot keep their noses out of everyone else's private lives ... I thought you were just a teensy, weensy bit better than that. Guess I was wrong.

For a better view of the pledge, click over to NOM's site if you can stomach it, or just click on the image above to embiggen. Then you can skip the pepto bismal to staunch the stomach acid.

UPDATE: If you can stand it, here is Maggie Gallagher on NOM's Hate Pledge and why all the good little GOP Presidential contenders must sign it, and that is of course, to prove they are hateful and anti-gay enough to win the love of the so-called "good" Christian crowd:

Tea Party Hypocrite Joe Walsh: Deadbeat Dad and Anathema to Anyone with True Family, Fiscal, or Christian Values

2011-07-30T08:52:00.000-07:00

The first time I saw this blowhard of a weasel, Joe Walsh, preening and vomiting teabag drivel in front of a camera, I was repulsed. I felt bad at the time for making such a snap judgment, but there was just something I could not put my finger on that caused me to recoil in complete revulsion.

I guess I should have trusted my gut because this guy is truly a reptile in tea bag clothing. He encapsulates everything that now represents today's Republican Party values: greed, hypocrisy, profound ignorance, arrogance, dishonesty, rigidity, exaggerated self-righteousness, and a complete inability to feel any empathy or pain other than one's own. I am sure I missed a few Republican "values", but you get the idea.

So when I saw this clip of Joe Walsh giving President Obama a tongue lashing that dripped with so much pious, sanctimony and disrespect, I gagged. And this was before I learned that my gut could not have been more right on about Joe Walsh.

So watch this sanctimonious fraud lecture President Obama (and keep a barf bag close by) and then, when your stomach can take no more, go watch the clip below this one. And learn just how creepy and disgusting and hypocritical and putrid this Joe Walsh really is.

Thank you Lawrence O'Donnell for taking the time to peel away the thin veneer hiding who this guy really is. It's a dirty job, but you do it oh so well. It is getting so old having Republican frauds like Joe Walsh lecturing those of us who are fiscally responsible about fiscal responsibility, or Republican frauds like Newt Gingrich who has had numerous extamarital affairs and 3 wives lecturing those of us who have been married for decades to the same person about the sanctity of marriage, or Republican frauds like Michele Bachmann who "suck at the teet" of the federal Government by taking advantage of every federal program out there and then turning around to criticize those who collect what they are legitimately owed after years of hard work and paying into the program.

The Republican party would do well to take a look at the Catholic Church for lessons on what not to do. Decades and decades of child rape and molestation and cover-up has depleted any moral high ground the Church may have had to preach about the immorality of others. The Church becomes more inconsequential to more people every day because people do NOT like hypocrites. And in my opinion, it's looking like that's all that's left in the Republican party as well. Hypocrites, big fat repulsive hypocrites.

If you vote for a Republican ...

2011-07-29T09:22:00.000-07:00

You are either voting for this man, Grover Norquist, a man who hates government so much he'd like to reduce it to a size in which it can be dragged to a bathroom and drowned in a bathtub, but who has never held an elected office himself because he doesn't need to. He already holds something better, a pledge from just about every elected Republican in state and federal office swearing they will never ever raise taxes. No matter what.

Grover Norquist

Or you are voting for the higher power that the Republicans believe

only supports them and their desire to drown that nasty old

government and all its safety nets that protect the least among us
in the bathtub. Because as we all know, Jesus spent all his time preaching
about protecting at all costs the wealthiest, most powerful among us.

Jesus Christ

The Weekend I Stopped Lying to Myself - an essay by Jarred Harris

2011-07-26T21:08:00.000-07:00

Note from Seething Mom: One of the most wonderful things to have come out of my decision to blog about my anger, hurt, and frustrations with those in the outside world who choose to hate my son simply because he is gay is that I have met so many amazing and beautiful people along the way. I cannot begin to express how much my life has been enriched by the many people whose paths have crossed mine through this blog. So I have decided to invite some of these talented and insightful people to write essays for this blog. Today's contribution comes from Jarred Harris, someone who has been with me since the beginning of this blog. And though I have not met him in person, his thought provoking comments and contributions to the conversations on this blog have made me feel as though I've known him far longer than the 5 1/2 years I've been blogging. Needless to say, Jarred is really special to me.

His story, A Journey to Queerdom, can be found here. "The Weekend I Stopped Lying to Myself" is his first essay in the series and I am publishing it here tonight with his permission.

Perhaps the most pivotal event in my coming out process was the weekend that I finally decided to accept that I was gay. And while starting my story there seems like jumping in halfway through the journey, I think it is essential to do so. Understanding what that weekend was like and where I was emotionally and mentally will shed much needed light on the rest of my experiences, even those that predate this particular event. Indeed, understanding where the journey prior to that eventually led has increased my appreciation for those earlier experiences.

As I often tell my friends, I did not so much come out of the closet as I ran out of it screaming. By the time I finally decided to stop with all of the lies and the attempts to be someone that I'm not, I had reached a critical point. Indeed, while I consider my official coming out anniversary to be April 1, 1996 (the evening I told a good friend that I was gay), the real turning point occurred two nights earlier as I lay in bed, planning my own suicide.

I had quit trying to convince myself that my attractions towards other guys were "just a phase" two years prior to that night. However, I had spent those two years hoping and praying that I would be healed of those feelings, conquering them once and for all. It had been a losing battle those two years, and I had finally reached the point where I was tired of fighting it. I had lost all hope.

That night, I realized that I was alone, and would be doomed to be alone for the rest of my life if I continued down the path I was on. I knew that my feelings would never change, no matter how hard I tried or how hard I prayed. I wanted a romantic relationship so badly, and if only allowed myself to seek that out with a woman like my religion, my friends, my family, and much of society told me I should, that desire would go painfully unfulfilled.

That sense of loneliness was even more pronounced because my closest friends were busy that night. To add insult to injury, two of them were busy spending the night with female friends they were either romantically involved with or hoping to become as such. This only reinforced my realization that while my friends could try their best to be supportive of my struggles, they ultimately had the benefit of walking away from it all and pursue that which I most wanted and could not find. Words cannot describe the sense of isolation and abandonment I felt because of this.

All of these factors resulted in my going into an emotional tailspin. I lay in bed in my grief and misery, and realized I could not go on like this. And at first, my mind locked onto death as a solution. I spent half an hour considering ending my life that night. This was not a passing thought, but a concerted visualization. I saw every detail of my death with vivid clarity. Indeed, my focus was so great that even eleven years later, I can still picture every detail of the knife I intended to use to slit my wrists and what I think it would've felt like to draw my own blood with its blade.

Fortunately, I never got out of bed or walked downstairs to the kitchen to get the knife. I'm not entirely sure what stopped me, but I'm glad it did, whatever it was. Instead, I finally fell asleep. Sometime the next day, it hit me just what I had considered doing the night before, and how much time and energy I invested in the very idea. That realization terrified me. As miserable as I was, I wanted to live.

But I also knew there was no way I could go on living this way. So I finally admitted to myself that if I wanted to live, I was going to have to accept that I was gay and get on with my life. So when I saw my friend, Kim, on Monday, I told her I needed to talk to her.

Kim used to go to the same college as the rest of friends and I, but had transferred to a SUNY school at the end of the last school year. She just happened to be visiting for a few days when all of this was happening in my life. That was fortunate for me, as I'm not sure who else I would have felt comfortable talking to at the time. I knew she would be supportive of me because she had come out to me the previous year. So when I saw her in the cafeteria, I jumped at he chance to confide in her.

We met later that evening in a small alcove in front of some instructors' offices in one of the buildings on campus. We had used this spot for a Bible study the year before, and it was a place both Kim and I knew well. I also knew we would have our privacy, which I needed at the time.

I don't remember much about the conversation we have. I do remember that it took me several minutes to work up the courage to actually utter the words "I'm gay" in her presence. I recall taking several deep breaths and opening my mouth to speak, only to find my voice had run away. But eventually, after a few attempts, I was able to overcome the panic inside enough to say what I needed to.

Naturally, Kim was accepting and supportive. She was also understanding of my incoherent and frightened state at the time. We spent at least an hour just talking. She shared some of her own experiences with me and emphasized just how proud of me she was. I babbled and cried.

It took me a long time to realize just how cathartic that whole experience was. Indeed, the sense of freedom of finally admitting who I was didn't really set in until much later, perhaps even more than a year. But that moment started me on the path that eventually led me to it.

More importantly, that moment saved my life.

It's Official - Don't Ask, Don't Tell is repealed

2011-07-24T15:49:00.000-07:00

The President Certifies Repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell

I am a little late reporting this, but on Friday President Obama made it official by certifying the repeal of DADT. From the President's statement put out on Friday:

Today, we have taken the final major step toward ending the discriminatory ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ law that undermines our military readiness and violates American principles of fairness and equality. In accordance with the legislation that I signed into law last December, I have certified and notified Congress that the requirements for repeal have been met. ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ will end, once and for all, in 60 days—on September 20, 2011.

[...]

There are so many wonderful people who worked so hard to make this happen that I would not know where to even begin on acknowledgments. So I won't even try, but there are also a few hateful homophobes who deserve recognition for their help in getting this discriminatory law repealed as well.

Now don't get me wrong, it was never their intention to actually help get this law killed, but regardless of their motives, it was their over-the-top bigotry and outright lies that opened more than a few people's eyes up on the hill - and I am talking Democrats and Republicans.

So I'd like to take this opportunity to single out one especially over-the-top homophobe in particular (although there are so many from which I could pick). Her name is Elaine Donnelly, founder and President of the Center for Military Readiness.

Ms. Donnelly, an advocate for keeping the DADT policy firmly in place, testified before the House Armed Services personnel subcommittee back in July of 2008. But even though she was firmly against repeal, her wild-eyed, barely-coherent homophobic ~~drivel~~ testimony had the opposite affect on many of the people in attendance that day - so much so that Dana Milbank of the Washington Post (this article is so good, you really should click over and read it) wrote the following:

Inadvertently, Donnelly achieved the opposite of her intended effect. Though there's no expectation that Congress will repeal "don't ask, don't tell" and allow gays to serve openly in the military, the display had the effect of increasing bipartisan sympathy for the cause.

Now that we know that DADT is dead, you have listen to this woman testify. It is beyond unbelievable:

And so I thank Ms. Donnelly, once again, for her help in getting DADT repealed. And I will end this post with another snip from Dana Milbank's most awsome article from July of 2008, but please go read the whole thing, it is that good:

Don't ask, don't tell. And, whatever you do, don't ask Elaine Donnelly to tell you what she thinks about gays in the military.

The House Armed Services personnel subcommittee made just such a miscalculation yesterday. Holding the first hearing in 15 years on the "don't ask, don't tell" policy, lawmakers invited a quartet of veterans to testify on the subject and also extended an invitation to Donnelly, who has been working for years to protect our fighting forces from the malign influence of women.

Donnelly treated the panel to an extraordinary exhibition of rage. She warned of "transgenders in the military." She warned that lesbians would take pictures of people in the shower. She spoke ominously of gays spreading "HIV positivity" through the ranks.

"We're talking about real consequences for real people," Donnelly proclaimed. Her written statement added warnings about "inappropriate passive/aggressive actions common in the homosexual community," the prospects of "forcible sodomy" and "exotic forms of sexual expression," and the case of "a group of black lesbians who decided to gang-assault" a fellow soldier.

Yeah, what is with all these stupid pledges that Republican candidates are all signing?

2011-07-23T08:22:00.000-07:00

Well as usual, Bill Maher tackles the question and nails it:

Gay Barbarian Horde Glitters Bachmann Clinic

2011-07-21T15:04:00.000-07:00

Oh boy did I need this laugh!

I suppose it's better to laugh than cry when things get so bad that people like Michele and Marcus Bachmann are actually considered credible candidates for the President and First Dude of the United States. But then ... this is what has become of the Republican Party.

Sen. Al Franken exposes the deception and lies of one of the many anti-gay, foam-at-the-mouth fools at Focus on the Family

2011-07-20T13:50:00.000-07:00

Over at ThinkProgress LGBT we are treated to a wonderful video clip of the good Senator (D-hero) from Minnesota showing us what a Democrat with a backbone looks like:

During this morning’s Senate DOMA hearings, Sen. Al Franken (D-MN) destroyed Focus on the Family’s Tom Minnery’s argument that children are better off with opposite-sex parents by demonstrating how Minnery misrepresented an HHS study. The study — which Minnery cited to oppose marriage equality — actually found that children do best in two-parent households, regardless of the parents’ gender.

Watch it and enjoy:

Please forgive me for being a bit too gleeful at seeing one of the haters at Focus on the Family humiliated, laughed at, and exposed as a liar and a fraud. From the moment I started paying attention to gay issues, which sadly was about 1 hour after learning about my own son, I learned that one of the biggest enemies to the lgbt commnunity and my son was this faux "family advocate" organization, Focus on the Family (FOF). To this day, the hair on the back of my neck stands up if someone even whispers James Dobson's name. And yes, I know the old coot has stepped down from the day-to-day tasks of being chief homophobe and bigot at FOF, but he is still very active and powerful in other areas of the very lucrative hate industry and his love child, FOF, still has its bulls-eye on the back of our glbt loved ones.

My Mother Flutters and the Strife of the Life of Rejected Jonathan - an essay by Adonis Ramirez Parra

2011-07-19T14:19:00.000-07:00

My Mother

My mother was killed when I was three years old. I have no reliable recollections of her; glimpses of her body, aromas; even the sound of her laughter and voice in my memory seem more imagined than predicated on reality.

I have never wholly reconciled myself to her loss; it was so tragically sudden, so utterly traumatic; and that scar nothing or no one will ever seal closed.

Time in this instance has been helpful. He has at least eroded from my memory the sting of her loss, and has introduced loving and supportive people into my life that have helped fill the void of her absence; and so Time has been kind. Nevertheless, I could safely assume that without hesitation, I would return all that I have been given to just once again sweetly embrace her, give to her my lip’s most loving kiss. I would render myself a pauper to feel for an instant the glory of her presence.

My mother did not raise me, but I know she has accompanied me throughout my development. I know this for fact.

My Mother w/Her Mother

Seven years ago, when I was seventeen, I felt inside my skin a truth so incontestable, so natural, I wanted to voice it out, speak it, and live it. Taking into consideration how my life would suddenly become precariously unsafe solely because I spoke that natural truth, which unwittingly offended one’s religion, or one’s culture, even though I couldn’t find inside myself one single reason to ever offend them, made me prefer to kill this truth – and with it my body, mind and spirit – than to voice it, speak it, or live it.

Downing one entire bottle of wine one summer day, I prepared myself for the journey from this vicious life, into the next, to be with my mother. Set to plunge the butcher knife which was in my hand into my heart, I recall how, like an implosion that burst all throughout my head, the wine’s alcohol took affect and I fell to the ground unconscious, with my spirit transported to another place and time.

Family Portrait

In my dreaming stupor, I was a weak purple aura – in this place bodies were much too cumbersome, so I was rather the light of my spirit’s consciousness. I stood outside a beautiful gated meadow with butterflies fluttering everywhere; beautiful melodic chirpings imbued the winds, and birds dashed about all over. I longed so terribly to be permitted entrance; I was so burdensomely enveloped in the dark purple aura of my downtrodden spirit that the serenity of this meadow seemed to provide respite from my troubles. Suddenly, I can recall, the old copper gates, so green and sun-kissed, creaked open, and I saw the luminous yellow-orange loving aura of my mother inviting me in.

We walked side by side, through the field’s meadows, along a placid flowing river, with no words spoken. Rather than being apart from me, she seemed to actually permeate the aura of my light, seemingly purifying like a baptismal fount all the demonic specters that had conquered my spirit. She mended my emotional afflictions, remedied with her love my apprehensions, caressed the wounds of my psyche, and reassured me through her spirit to continue along my path, and blessed the truthful veracity of my soul right before I opened my eyes again to this reality.

My mother as a little girl

I woke up with my head heavy with pressure as if I had knocked it spitefully against a wall, but I felt good, rejuvenated. I felt loved.

Walking alongside my mother in that meadow saved my life. I felt no castigation, no judgment, no rejection; I wasn’t berated or deemed wrong or immoral. My mother in that meadow, with her love, infused virtuous moral principles into my voice, humility and strength into my spirit, and encouraged me to speak and live my truth, to unfold and develop as my truest self: as her gay son.

I want to bring light now to a topic that means a lot to me: the calloused rejection of abandoned and homeless gay youth. In America, fifty percent of youth rejected by their parents, state it’s because of their sexual orientation.[i] Of all the homeless youth in America, forty percent are said to be LGBT;[ii] and lastly, of all openly gay males, fifty-five percent report to have had substance abuse problems at least once in their lifetime.[iii]

In a Huffington Post article titled, “Obama Administration Seeks to Address Homeless Crisis Amongst Gay Teens,” by Jason Cherkis, twenty-one year old Louisiana native, Jonathan, aged out of the state’s foster care program when he was yet vulnerably, defenselessly eighteen years old. This young child suffered endless rejection, first from his biological parents, then his grand parents, and still yet, “In the system, he didn't fare any better. Group home staff and residents taunted him with anti-gay slurs. At one point, a staffer broke his arm during a restraint. He was jumped at school and left battered and bruised. Foster parents evicted him over his sexuality” (Cherkis). This young boy without any loving parental guidance was subjected to the ruthless cruelty of rejection singularly based on his sexuality; and when he aged out of the Louisiana foster program – a state that prohibits unmarried couples from adopting, effectively prohibiting gay couples since gay marriage is not legal – he was left homeless.[iv] The ultimate poignant reality to be ascertained is that Jonathan’s story is not unique, “[His life story is the] typical trajectory for a significant number of [LGBT] kids in the system…Just last year Jonathan tried to kill himself” (Cherkis).

I have no idea if I would be comfortably seated here in the confines of my room writing this piece, with a whole book already written with every ounce of love I have for the LGBT youth of America and the world – to tell them they are loved – if it hadn’t been for the loving life-saving grace of my mother in that meadow, and the support and encouragement of my family as a whole.

I have lived a relatively tranquil life. I have been so lucky.

My fear of rejection was leading me down a very bad path of no return. I think if I had been rejected, thrown out to the streets, drugs and alcohol would have been the only vehicle through which I could forget it all; I might even have become a prostitute to live. I could have become a prostitute, rejected and homeless, drug and alcohol addicted, remembered only as a statistic, rather than a writer. This is not fantastical what I write; this is the harsh reality that faces many LGBT youth, like Jonathan, all across the world.

So I assert, as audacious as it may sound, being gay is not a gateway lifestyle to becoming an alcohol addicted, drug abusing child prostitute, but rather rejection from one’s own family justified and legitimized through hate; and what is worse, when the essence of family is perversely subjected to be the source of the destruction of a child’s sense of self-worth, guidance and protection. The essence of family in whatever manifestation espouses unconditional, unwavering love and kindness.

Of my family, there is no other relative that means as much to me as my mother. I still feel her. Thus I implore all mothers, recall when you learned of the miracle of life growing inside your precious womb; hearken back to the instant of your child’s first cry, first laugh, first word; those years in which there certainly was no more intimate connection in all the universe than your one connection to your child; and recall the utter vulnerability and innocence you felt in the fragility of his lungs, heart, arms, and legs, verily his whole feeble body, and how above all else, there had truly been no more precious beauty you had ever beheld than the instant you gazed upon your child, that purity, that innocence cast in the mould of your love.

Considering how bad I want to hug and kiss my mother who is dead, I cannot even dare to imagine how much a rejected gay youth, alone and vulnerable with no one to defend him, longs to again be hugged and kissed by the parent who is yet still alive. A much calloused treatment of one’s child, don’t you think?

In nature, all life forms seemingly undergo a metamorphosis of sorts. Some undergo the process physically through their body, and other symbolically through their spirit. Some seeds sprout voluptuous blooms; some women become mothers, some men become fathers; we all live on earth then die and live beyond in some other form; some men become women, and some women become men; some grow to hate then learn to love; some live closeted then live openly.

Yet, there is quite possibly no other more striking metamorphosis that has fascinated the human gaze than that of the caterpillar into the butterfly.

To bud upon her back the wings already aflutter inside the hollows of her heart is the caterpillar’s only aspiration. Her heart’s compass points only towards becoming a stunning butterfly; no other end would render such a profound bliss. She is not cryptically just a caterpillar (some mere conditioned resemblance of plants), but an immaculate butterfly with conspicuous wings stylized with marbled mosaics of browns, oranges, and yellows. The caterpillar is not a mere worm. She bears the infantile restrictions of her caterpillar body to one day relish in the enchantment of being at long last what she always knew she was inside – but which no one dared to dream, think, believe was true – an iridescent fluttering chrysalis.

It was my mother’s love that un-cocooned the wings upon my back to flutter along in this life, to write my stories, speak my truth, and through my words, endeavor to envelop LGBT youth struggling in their lives inside my protective and loving wings, to assist them in their metamorphoses from rejected and frightened, to loved and dignified.

This must become our human imperative: to embrace the diverse inner truthful identities inside us all; they are not causes for rejection. But rather with love, let’s seek to infuse virtuous moral principles into our voices, humility and strength into our spirits, and encourage one another to speak and live our truths, to unfold and develop as our truest ourselves. For Jonathan, whom I do not know, but wish so badly that I did, and the countless others in his situation, let us begin to evolve so they may all unfold and develop as their truest ourselves: as beloved gay children.

[i] Remafedi, Gary. (1987). "Male Homosexuality: The Adolescent's Perspective." Pediatrics, Issue 79. pp. 326-337.

[ii] Seattle Commission on Children and Youth. (1986). "Survey of Street Youth." Seattle, WA: Orion Center.

[iii] “Breaking the Silence for Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual Youth.” (1996) New Hartford, NY.

[iv] Barrow, Bill. (2010) “Senate panel rejects gay adoption expansion.” The Times-Picayune

Hmmm I think Frank Schaeffer is rattling a few Evangelical cages

2011-07-19T13:10:00.000-07:00

I've been offline these past few days because of a few big things going on that have required my undivided attention, so blogging will probably take a back seat for a few more days. But I do have a post waiting in the queue to be tweaked and published later today. And just a few hours ago a comment came through on one of my older posts that required not only my approval to be published, which I gave, but also a response written with great restraint.

Unfortunately I think I failed on the restraint part, but nothing sets this seething momma off faster than when comments come in under the thinly-veiled guise of kind, loving Christian compassion, and end up being anything but. So with that said, I think I may have over-reacted and gotten angrier than I should have, but then, I certainly don't pass myself off as anything but a seething mom who will fight to her death for her gay son.

Word to the wise: don't use dog-whistle language with me, it may work with your fellow Evangelicals, but not with me. I hear what you are really saying and I won't let you get away with it. You see, I may be an unwashed heathen in your eyes, but I am not stupid.

So for greater audience viewing, I am re-posting both the comment and my response. And I will let you all decide if I went overboard with my anger as I suspect I may have. Feel free to give me a verbal flogging if you must.

So first the comment:

FrancisSchaefferStudies.org said...
You should be careful not to jump on the Frank Schaeffer bus too quickly, one must always question someone that has attempted to throw his entire family "under the bus," so to speak.

I know you might not think so, but most Evangelical Christian's are not haters of gays. It is the fact that the lifestyle and actions of being gay violate a premise of the Evangelical Christian faith that they have a hard time with (I'll spare you the Biblical law explanation). Yet unfortunately many are not mature enough to properly take exception without being hurtful to others, which is indeed a shame. Let me be the first Evangelical Christian to apologize for those who have been hurtful to you and your son.

The unfortunate fact is that there is a decline of people in the church that understand the gracious balance of law and love. The late Dr. Francis Schaeffer (Frank's father) wrote about this in his book The Mark Of A Christian. Apparently Franky never read this book. In that book his father details that you have every right to judge us when we are not properly displaying these two important traits. So you should challenge any Christian who attacks you in the future on this point. Francis Schaeffer said, "truth without love is ugly and love without truth is compromise," these are primary tenants and BOTH must be observed.

On the gay issue. Being "anti-gay agenda" does not necessitate that you hate gays. In reality the position is that the homosexual lifestyle is a social dysfunction that is counter-productive to society. That is both an opinion and conviction of mine. I hold the opinion not because of just religious views, but also on the basis of the sociological implications. Yet I hold this conviction in the same way I feel about other social disorders. That those dealing with them are real people who deserve our real compassion and help. I am neither homophobic or hate homosexuals.

I took the time to read your story about the day you found out. I won't pretend that I truly understand what that felt like, but I do empathize with you. The sociological dysfunction of that moment must have been truly tramatic. Your descriptions sound nothing short of depression. I also read your write-up on the aftermath and it is here that I can see you begin to displace your anger. While the world may have a multitude of errors in how it deals with this issue, and I empathize with your analysis here also, the jump to attacking the overal social construct and Christians seems to me greatly misguided. Granted you were hurt, but at this point haven't you now become a hater yourself?

After years of this sort of writing and anger, and probably talking to less kind Evangelicals I wonder if anything I say will be taken as helpful. Yet, I wanted to at least offer a few sincere words.

And now my response:

Seething Mom said...
I appreciate the time you took to write your comment and I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you meant well. And though I respect your right to beliefs that run 100% counter to my own, you so completely lost me when you started backing up your "opinion" and "conviction" with words like "homosexual lifestyle" and "social disorders", which not only imply choice and defect, but truly show your profound ignorance on the subject. And that you used those words when confronting a mother of a gay child was quite telling and insulting.

I watched my son for years and knew he was struggling, I just didn't know why, and even counseling did not uncover the secret he spent most of his young life hiding because he thought it would cost him our love. And why would he believe otherwise? Between 20% & 40% of homeless youth on the streets are lgbt children, many of whom were either thrown out of their homes when they came out or were outed to their families. And though I do not have statistics on this, I'd bet my last dollar religion played a huge role in it as well because tragically, so many of these families are getting validation from their churches and religious leaders to be bullies, to throw their children out on the streets, or to subject them to horribly damaging programs that claim to change one’s sexual orientation.

I can tell you this, no sane person I know chooses to be something that will make him the scorge of the earth, an abomination, and to many people of faith, worthy of death. I would love to know exactly when you chose the "lifestyle" of being straight because I know from my own personal experience, my sexual orientation is every bit as innate to who I am as my eyes are brown. Neither is a choice and neither can be changed. But it is "both an opinion and conviction" of mine that you have made the "lifestyle" choice to be a holier-than-thou swathed so tightly in a false sense of smug sanctimony that I think you should get help. Being gay is NOT a social disorder, as you call it, but being a homophobe in denial, in my humble opionion, is.

And you are right, I do write with anger - a lot of it. And I make no apologies for it. And you are also right that I keep my exposure to "less kind Evangelicals" to a minimum. I happen to have a brother who is a born-again Evangelical (posted about him here, here, and here). He is a profoundly broken man who did what many of the Evangelicals I know did, he traded an addiction to alcohol and a lifetime of despicable, selfish behavior for an addiction to twisted religion that he uses as a weapon to judge and hurt others. I no longer expose myself or my family to him. He was far easier to be around as a beligerant, ugly drunk than he is now as a beligerant, ugly Christian.

UPDATE: And my evangelical "friend" responds:

FrancisSchaefferStudies.org said...
Thank you for the response. I appreciated what you had to say and taking time to inform me from your perspective. You did say I was "ignorant" on the subject, and I admit that from a certain perspective I am. I have not lived directly with this as you have personally, although I have had friends, co-workers and even a boss that I worked with directly who were practicing gays. I do seek to understand how it impacts a family such as yours.

You targeted my comment on homosexuality as a social disorder, and called that "ignorant" on my part, and it came across to you as insensitive. I was hoping more to state it more as a clinical understanding, it was not my intent to offend you. There are some facts however that you should understand on this. Homosexuality was considered psychopathological up until 1980, when the American Psychiatric Association removed homosexuality as a disorder in the 3rd edition of its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. Up until that time it was considered a disorder.

Next I wanted to caution you about your argument that homosexuality is innate to the person. I have always seen that position as very problematic since other sexual disorders such as pedophilia and hebephilia can very easily be justified using this same argument. Surely you would not condone a pedofile's actions by saying that he was born with it?

I realize that categorizing something as a "disorder" is not comfortable given your love for your son, yet understanding something as a disorder is a diagnosis of a problem a person is having where that person needs help. All of us have disorders in some way, so saying this is not intended to state that I am better or hollier than you or your son.

And of course, I can't let this go without a rebuttal. So after taking some time to compose myself I respond:

Seething Mom said...
I am having a very hard time even responding to your unbelievably offensive and hurtful comment. In fact I am so enraged and offended, I am not even sure I can compose a cogent response. You pass yourself off as a kinder, gentler, and more compassionate evangelical, but you have proven yourself to be none of those things. I am truly horrified and sickened by your latest comment.

Using terms like pedophilia and hebephilia to bolster your argument that my son's orientation is a disorder, or a choice, or whatever the hell point you were trying to make was like a knife in my heart. That is my son you are talking about. Stooping to such lows makes me realize you are probably not worth the time or energy it takes to respond. But this is my beloved son you have chosen to analyze and dehumanize so I will not let your hurtful words go uncontested.

Homosexuality involves two loving and very normal consenting adults (consenting and adult being the operative words here), there are no children involved, just two people of the same gender who are drawn to each other in the same way that I am drawn to my husband and my straight son is drawn to his girlfriend. There are no children, pubescent or prepubescent victimized, and there is absolutely nothing illegal or abnormal about the relationship. And by the way, the relationship goes so much deeper and is so much more complex than the sex act you and your fellow holier-than-thous get so hung up on. (It really is kind of creepy how it is all about the sex for you people.)

Homosexulity has been observed in close to 1,500 species, ranging from primates to gut worms, and is well documented for 500 of them. A new review made in 2009 of existing research showed that same-sex behavior is a nearly universal phenomenon in the animal kingdom, common across species. (The information I just sited can be found here.) Drawing comparisons with the illegal acts of pedophilia and hebephilia has exposed your ignorance and your deeply ingrained homophobia. Pretty much every accredited medical and psychiatric association now believes that homosexuality is no more a disorder than heterosexuality -- and every bit as innate an orientation as heterosexuality.

You have once again demonstrated your profound and very willful igonorance. And you seem completely unwilling to even consider that you might be wrong. But I am not surprised. You are the typical narrow-minded, right-wing evangelical today - completely entrenched in rigid beliefs that will never change, no matter how many facts contradict them. And the cruel way in which you chose to make your point about homosexuality, to a mom who has a gay child, reveals all I need to know about you. I now understand why Frank Schaeffer scares the living daylights out of you. He recognizes the monster that has grown from the work of his parents and he is right to be shining a spotlight on it and sounding an alarm.

Seething Mom said...
And one more thing...

I am not sure why you have chosen my blog as your forum to make your very misguided opinions about homosexuality known. If you are thinking you can win some hearts and minds here, you are woefully mistaken. In fact you have accomplished quite the opposite.

This is a crowd who has felt firsthand, the sting of words just like the ones you used here, the cruelty of judgment just like the judgment you used here, and the hurt of rejection just like the rejection you displayed here. They come here because this is a safe zone, free of the bigotry and ignorance that has so badly scarred them.

You will change no hearts and minds here. So if that was your intention, I'm afraid you are wasting your time and should probably go elsewhere.

More fun at the expense of homophobic imbeciles

2011-07-14T11:03:00.000-07:00

And who better than Jon Stewart to be poking fun at the dual human tragedies of Michele and Marcus?

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On The Road With Marcus And Michele Bachmann

2011-07-13T08:53:00.000-07:00

I know, I've been a bit obsessive about the Bachmanns and their extreme homophobia lately, so today I am posting something a little more on the light side (even though there is now a clip out there of Michele using gay, family member, and satin all in the same sentence. I decided to post this instead as I must take my own sanity into account too.). And yes, this will be filed under "Fun at the expense of homophobic imbeciles".

Nightline - Michele Bachmann's Family Business Exposed

2011-07-12T09:16:00.000-07:00

I know I have done a lot of posting on this subject lately, some might argue too much, but this woman, Michele Bachmann is running for President of the United States. So I would argue that the moment she made the decision to run, everything about her and her husband, including their "counseling business" became relevant. She and her husband have a belief system that not only runs completely counter to what I believe, but is extremely dangerous to our glbt children.

And one more thing, a quibble more or less, but have you ever noticed how much these so-called "good" Christians lie? It really is astounding. The Bachmanns have been lying for years about whether or not their clinic offered conversion therapy. Now why would they lie about something like that unless they felt it was something they needed to keep secret?

Ex-Mormon and finally happy after 35 years of trying to pray away the gay.

2011-07-11T08:54:00.000-07:00

Take note "Dr." Marcus Bachmann, these programs do NOT work. They only succeed in crushing or killing our beloved gay children.

So Marcus, take some advice from this momma: Stop hurting our children. No matter how many gay youth you ~~treat~~ crush or destroy, you will never extinguish your own inner demons. You will always be you. Accept yourself honey. Celebrate who you are. But for god's sake, leave our beloved gay children alone. We cherish them just the way they are: alive, fabulous, and at peace with themselves.

Michele and Marcus Bachmann want to pray away the gay, I say we need to pray away them

2011-07-10T11:54:00.000-07:00

I have gone back and forth on whether to post the South Park clip below. And in the end, I decided I should, but with the warning that it could be very upsetting to some of the people who visit this blog. I must confess it was upsetting to me. But I decided that in spite of my worries, it is important and relevant, so I definitely should post it.

We have a woman, Michele Bachmann, who has decided to run for President of the United States. And she is doing well enough, and getting enough attention from the right groups of constituents, that I have come to believe she actually could win the Republican primary. I hope I am wrong, but I don't think it would be wise for any of us to underestimate this woman. It could be a mistake we regret big time, especially those of us who have glbt children, and even more especially our glbt children.

Michele Bachmann has never made any secret of her feelings about our glbt children. She hates them and she justifies that hatred with what some of us believe are some pretty twisted religious beliefs. And now that she has made it official and we know she is running, there has been a brighter spotlight put not just on her, but her husband. And this has given us an opportunity to really see who this potential "first dude" is. And it is pretty damn scary. I honestly didn't think it was possible, but this guy might be a bigger horror show than his very homophobic and crazy wife.

According to ThinkProgress LGBT:

An undercover investigation from a staff member of the organization Truth Wins Out has revealed that the clinic run by Dr. Marcus Bachmann, husband of Republican presidential hopeful Michele Bachmann, is providing discredited “ex-gay” reparative therapy. Dr. Marcus Bachmann has been under intense scrutiny in recent weeks, after a ThinkProgress report documenting his past comments referring to gays as ”barbarians” and an NBC News reportthat revealed Bachmann and Associates had taken $137,000 in federal Medicaid funds over the past five years despite Michele Bachmann’s strident anti-government stance.

We need to know what we are up against with these two people. They are both nightmares when it comes to our glbt children's futures. And from what we are now learning, Dr. Marcus Bachmann is more than just a nightmare for our glbt children, he is a deluded, cruel and dangerous man who is doing great harm to our glbt children and doing it with our g.d tax dollars. These two people must be stopped in their tracks, and yesterday is not soon enough.

Via The Dish:

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MSNBC - Michele Bachmann & Rick Santorum Sign 'The Marriage Vow'

2011-07-09T07:53:00.000-07:00

I am posting this with very little commentary. This clip speaks for itself. The Republican Party is one big fat hideous joke and any of the presidential candidates who sign this ludicrous pledge deserve all the scorn and mockery they are getting. And as for those who only vote Republican because it is the party of "family values" and "Christian values"? I can only pity them. They are nothing more than the useful idiots to a party that could not survive without them, but doesn't give a damn about them.

Well off to clean up the big mess left by the monster dust storm, or Haboob as they are calling it, we had the other night.

Frank Schaeffer on Michele Bachmann: She's too radical for Evangelicals

2011-07-07T15:16:00.000-07:00

I have posted about Frank Schaeffer before, but it has been a while, March of 2009 to be precise. This is a man who has invaluable insight when it comes to the Religious Right. So if you have not heard of him, it is time to get acquainted. He and his parents (evangelical leaders Francis and Edith Schaeffer) played a big part in creating the monster we call the Religious Right. He was a major player up until the mid 80's when he defected. And now - he is their biggest nightmare. There is no better person to lay bare the gory, ugly innards of a movement he helped to start. And when he says it is a movement that has helped to destroy the Republican Party and looks set to destroy this country next - I'm prone to believe him.

Here is an excerpt of what he had to say back in 2009, but you really should go over to Huffington Post and read his "Open letter to Republican Traitors" in its entirety. It is still as relevant today as it was 2 years ago. And he doesn't mince words either:

You Republicans are the arsonists who burned down our national home. You combined the failed ideologies of the Religious Right, so-called free market deregulation and the Neoconservative love of war to light a fire that has consumed America. Now you have the nerve to criticize the "architect" America just hired -- President Obama -- to rebuild from the ashes. You do nothing constructive, just try to hinder the one person willing and able to fix the mess you created.

And now Frank Schaeffer is back with even more insight on one of the Religious Right's best hopes for the Republican nomination for President, Michele Bachmann. Only problem is, Mr. Schaeffer thinks even the Evangelicals will find her too extreme:

I am personally not convinced that Evangelicals will find Michele Bachmann too extreme. I know a few people who claim to be Evangelical Christians, including one of my brothers and his wife, and sorry to say this but, they are so in the habit of checking their brains at the door of their mega-church and letting extreme right-wing moo-moo'd preachers like Rick Warren tell them what to think, I'm not so sure they'd find Michele Bachmann extreme. She says all the right things and uses enough dog whistles to win them over, but then it doesn't take much to win formerly smart people who have let their brains atrophy and shrink from lack of use (too harsh?).

And if you have never heard this interview he did with D.L. Hughley back in 2009, you must take the time to listen to it as well. Here he discusses his life in the Religious Right and his views now that he has defected from both the Religious Right and the Republican Party. Again, he doesn't mince words and we'd do well to listen. I for one am scared to death of the Bachmanns and the useful idiots (read Evangelicals) who will vote for her simply because she hates abortion and absolutely loathes gays. That is really all they need to know in order to pull the lever for her.

Minnesota's Michele Bachmann & Homophobia

2011-07-07T08:35:00.000-07:00

OK Minnesota, you know I love ya, but why on earth have you thrust this horrific nightmare upon us? She's batsh*t crazy and you know it. Is this some kind of joke or something? Cuz if it is, we're not laughing any more ...

Soo off-topic, but I don't care

2011-07-04T14:47:00.000-07:00

I haven't felt the warm and fuzzies like this in a long time. This dear sweet little lady is the same age as my mom and has the same kind of pluck and spunk she does.

Via the marvelous, stupendous ladies at TPC I present to you Janey Cutler:

I don't know about you, but it's kind of nice to have tears in my eyes because of something as sweet as this, and not because of the usual frothy homophobic hate masked as the love of jeebus that I usually blog about. The last time I felt this kind of warm and fuzzy was back in June of 2007 when I blogged about Paul Potts (also on Britain's Got Talent and also a most pleasant surprise). Posts on him are here, here, and here:

Big Bullies: How the Religious Right is Trying to Make Schools Safe for Bullies and Dangerous for Gay Kids

2011-07-04T10:03:00.000-07:00

When I first learned one of my sons was gay I became obsessed with learning everything I could about the extra dangers and challenges he would face simply because of his sexual orientation. I was shocked to learn who the enemies were. And beyond terrified for my son's safety.

Do you think I'm exaggerating?

Well, if you asked this mom I know she'd give you an emphatic NO!! Her son was bullied mercilessly at school. In fact her son was bullied to death. And the school? Well they couldn't be bothered:

Learning that schools are a breeding ground for bullies and their victims are often children who are gay or perceived to be gay, isn't really news. Schools have always had bullies and plenty of vulnerable children to be victimized, and my memory serves me especially well on this as I had a horrible experience with a bully when I was in the first grade. The memory will stay with me until the day I die. But what was shocking was learning who was pouring so much energy and resources into keeping schools from doing anything about it. And as you heard in the heart-wrenching clip above, Seth Walsh was a victim of their success.

To their credit, many schools are working hard to put anti-bullying policies into place. And their attempts are often met with strong resistance. But, who on earth, you ask, would fight something that would protect our children from the evils of bullying? And the answer, which shocked and horrified me in those early days of research, blew my mind. It is those who claim to be the "good" Christians and "advocates" for the family. The problem is, they can't come out and say what they really want, which is, bullying is bad, except if the victim is an evil homo, then it is ok. So instead, they just fight tooth and nail all attempts to stop bullying:

Students deserve an education that is free from bullying and harassment, and in many districts parents, teachers, principals, community members and students are working together to create a safe and welcoming environment for all children. Bullying can impede learning and ruin lives. As Education Secretary Arne Duncan has said, “bullying is doubly dangerous because if left unattended it can rapidly escalate into even more serious violence and abuse.” Close to nine in ten Americans believe that bullying is a “serious problem,” and many communities are directly challenging harassment and violence in schools.

However, many Religious Right activists want to derail efforts to combat bullying. An increasing number of conservative leaders and organizations have fiercely opposed anti-bullying programs developed by schools and education groups for the sole reason that such programs identify and attempt to combat the widespread bullying of LGBT youth. (emphasis mine)

Rather than recognize and address the problem of bullying against students who are gay or perceived to be gay, Religious Right groups want schools to embrace a policy ofinaction. Many resort to repeating discredited lies about sexual orientation and vilifying the LGBT community and its allies to back up their opposition to anti-bullying programs that mention anti-gay bullying. Concerned students, families, teachers, education professionals, and public officials should not be fooled by the far-right’s attempt to smear anti-bullying programs, and should instead ensure that schools address bullying with a direct, honest and comprehensive approach.

Or even more heinous ... they give pointers on how to harass those evil homos, in a good christiany kinda way of course.. Take it away Joe:

Focus On The Family's Stuart Shephard hosts anti-gay activist Candi Cushman and her ratty hairpiece to explain how Christianist students are going to harass LGBT kids in the loving name of Jeebus. The Focus-sponsored "Day Of Dialogue" is this Monday. Up until last year, this annual bashing-fest was run by the "ex-gay" liars at Exodus International.

I have written about Focus on the Family and James Dobson for years. For me, this organization, and this former head of the organization, personify everything that is EVIL about these groups that masquerade as advocates for the family, but are really just front groups for homophobia and hate and destruction.

James Dobson is retired now. He no longer heads up the vile Focus on the Family, but his legacy and the organization live on. They hate my son. They hate kids like Seth Walsh. And our gay and lesbian kids will always be in danger as long as these monstrous, hateful organizations exist.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OUR LITTLE GIRL

2011-07-03T13:58:00.000-07:00

July 3rd, 1988

OH HOW WE LOVE YOU!