I remember one day, not long after learning I had a gay son, I was flipping through the local radio stations as I was driving to a doctor’s appointment when something caught my ear. I wasn’t sure exactly what I’d heard, but it was enough to compel me to reverse course on the AM dial and return to it. And lo and behold, it was Rush Limbaugh in all his blustery glory. Now I am not a fan of Rush Limbaugh and can usually only take him in small doses if at all, but something coming out of his mouth that day caught my ear and I needed to know what it was.
Now this was a while ago so I will have to paraphrase from memory as best as I can:
“Someday folks, medical science will bring us to a point where a pregnant woman can walk into her doctor’s office and have a test done which will accurately determine whether the child she is carrying is gay. Now ladies and gentlemen, herein lays the moral dilemma: will women choose to have the child if it is determined the child is gay?”
I was so stunned by this I had to pull over. I thought I was going to be sick. Now mind you, I was still in a massive state of zombie-like shock from learning that I was a mom of a gay child. But hearing that from a prominent radio talk show host was so stunning to me that I began to sob uncontrollably. In fact I had to pull to the side of the road until I could calm down. I was so sick to my stomach I thought I was going to vomit.
The thoughts were shooting through my head at mind-numbing speed and in no particular logical sequence: I cannot even imagine my life without my wonderful loving son in it? How could anyone consider aborting a child because of its sexual orientation? Where is the so-called moral dilemma in having a gay child? Wouldn’t the moral dilemma be in creating a test that would give people the option to abort a baby whose sexual orientation didn’t meet their approval? Don’t people know how much that child will bless their lives? Don’t they know how incomplete their family will be without him or her? I cannot imagine my life without my son’s love, sense of humor, compassion, mischief, baby tantrums, adorable way of saying things, attention to the funniest details, passion for airplanes, thoughtful compliments, and quirky view of life.
Oh my God, the love I felt for my son at that moment was simply overwhelming. I just could NOT imagine our family without that wonderful kid! The hole would be so big. How dare that stupid Rush say something like that…
But I quickly realized that I was shooting the messenger when I should have been thanking him. He had forced me to think about what life would have been like without my gay son and the thought of that was more than I could bear.
So after looking into my rear-view mirror, literally and figuratively, I dried my eyes, put the car in drive and proceeded on to the doctor’s office.
My life has been so blessed.
Thank you Rush for reminding me how blessed it is.
Oh ok, you want to know what got me started on this. Well it started with a post I read the other day over at Andrew’s place. And that reminded me of the incident I described above.