Monday, October 12, 2009

Still here, still seething

And quite pissed that I am still seething ...

So sorry for the long unexplained absence. I just cannot seem to pull myself out of this very bad funk in which I have been steeping.

It's not so much buyers remorse, but more like a very bad knock up the side of the head. We finally get rid of the disastrous Bush/Cheney 8 year nightmare and usher in our first Black President and a lot of hope and dreams. And yet, here we sit no better off as far as gay rights go than we were 9 months ago. In fact, I don't see that we are any better off on anything than we were 9 months ago. Except for the fact that this president does not use the glbt community for political gain, which I must admit, is huge, I don't see much reason to be hopeful.

Silly, stupid me. I guess if change is really going to happen, it is going to happen because we make it happen here on the ground floor. I was so naive to believe that any one person can make the kind of changes I want to see happen. Not even if that person is Barack Obama.

And yes, yes, yes. I get it. Full plate. Two wars going badly. Horrible recession. High unemployment. Health Care Reform flailing. And angry, nasty, vile, racist venom spewing from the usual suspects poisoning the public discourse worse than I ever thought could be possible.

It all got to be more than I could take. I had to walk away. I needed a break. No more writing. No more public seething. No more unrealistic expectations.

And I am not sure I am back to stay. The hibernation has helped. Although living in this whack-a-doodle state of Arizona with its wingnut legislature and a Republican Governor WE DID NOT ELECT has not helped. It has only served as a reminder that I can hide from the craziness, but I cannot escape it. But I will say this, it is no wonder that we are losing our best and brightest young people to other places. Who wants to live in a state that thinks the answers to all our problems is yanking benefits from domestic partners and their families, demonizing anyone with brown skin, idolizing and re-electing a publicity starved sheriff, amending the constitution to ban gay marriage, making it much harder for desperate young women to make difficult, gut-wrenching decisions with their doctors without the morality police inserting themselves, making it legal to carry concealed weapons into restaurants and bars, and banning sparklers (No, really! I kid you not. Guns-YES, sparklers-No too dangerous).

So I will be around. Sporadically. But can't promise anything more right now.

Love Still Seething Mom Share


Jan said...

So glad you're back. I've missed you. I think things will have to change from the ground up and maybe for a lot of old fogeys (including my mother in law) to die.

Seething Mom said...

OMG Jan! Thanks for a true laugh out loud moment. Gosh that felt good.

Jan said...

Glad you could laugh!