I am not sure if you booted your son, Jonathan, out into the street on his 18th birthday for religious reasons or not, but if did, you just gave that God you worship one gigantic F.U. smack across the face. What an amazing gift your son is ----- and you are both too stupid to know it, but fear not because that beautiful young man you threw out like trash has now got millions of people around the world who will embrace him as their own. And that is a good thing, you do not deserve him.
I could not agree more with John when he said, you are indeed the worst parents in the world who raised the best kid in the world.
92 comments:
Too bad most everything he said is a lie. Too bad not one word was said about how he stole from his parents, stole his dad's truck and wallet and took a minor for three days until cops found him, or all the money his parents put into all singing classes, or the fact that he chose to leave, not forced to. But we fail to ever hear both sides of any story.
I am always a bit more cautious with people who comment anonymously, especially on this blog. We have had our fair share of trolls who do not like hearing anything positive about membersof the glbt community. So forgive my skepticism since you provided no links to back up your claims. And honestly, I would think Jonathan's story would have been checked out before his appearance on the show.
Are there any links to prove Jonathan's story is true? Have you contacted his family and asked if Jonathan's accusations were honest? Friends? Teachers? Neighbors? I bet you haven't. Is there any evidence at all that Jonathan spoke 100% truth about what he said? Or are you just responding in a knee jerk reaction because his story struck a chord?
FYI, America's Got Talent does MINOR background checks, and all it takes is a simple search on GOOGLE to realize that. The type of check they do would not confirm Jonathan's story nor did it confirm another story about a contestant who also lied by the name of Timothy Poe who claimed he was injured in war, and was not.
Before you start "seething" about this particular situation you may need to make sure you have FACTS, and not just one side of a story.
The fact that you and others call total strangers the "worst parents in the world" when you have ABSOLUTELY NO CLUE about them or if Jonathan was telling the truth shows that you and those like you are no better than the things you call Jonathan's parents. Before you jump on the bashing bandwagon you need to make sure you know what you are talking about.
Why would Jonathan get on national tv and lie? I don't know. Maybe the fact that his PARENTS drove him to Atlanta a few years ago to try out for AGT (where he didn't make it that time) compelled him to bump it up a notch and fabricate a story for points. It obviously worked, unfortunately.
I am also going to post this anonymously. Why would I do that? Only because I find it humorous that you use that as an excuse not to believe an individual.
Well Anonymous #2, I stand by my response to Anon#1. Sign your name, provide some links to back up your claims, and check your anger at the door.
All I can say is this, I work with an organization called PFLAG as a support group facilitator and I have seen so many sad stories come walking through the doors. Most of them mere children who have been thrown out like trash by their good "Christian" families because they are gay. So it wasn't hard for me to believe that Jonathan's story was true. But on the off-chance that you and Anon#1's accusations hold some bit of truth (again, posting anonymously and providing nothing but indignation are not enough to prove anything), I will address this issue on the front page.
I will remain unconvinced until I hear from a reliable source that Jonathan's story is a complete lie. And if that happens, I will be the first one to beg forgiveness. No supportive parent deserve to be maligned in this way if the story is totally bogus, but my guess is Jonathan's story is complex and not as black and white as I may have interpreted it or you are trying to paint it.
Ah yes, the shadowy anonymous who has all kind of secret knowledge about a situation, yet will not provide credentials. And when challenged, zie merely deflects.
Here's the thing, anon, Allen went on national television and said everything he said with his name attached to it. He is claiming that these are his personal experiences, which he would naturally have first-hand knowledge about. Considering the fact that no one has gone on record to say "What he says is wrong and here is how I know," I'm inclined to believe him.
So here's my question for you, anon, are you willing to drop the cloak and dagger and step into the light? Are you willing to identify yourself and explain how you have this knowledge about Allen's life that you claim to have?
Or will you remain in the shadows where you can claim secret knowledge without having to attach your name or your reputation to those claims?
Anon #1 and #2 is most likely Logan Allen, adopted step-brother of Jonathan. Same wordage on his facebook profile status updates defending parents. Logan, are you the favorite kid in the family?
Hard to believe this guy was able to get that level of training on his own. At that age, you need significant training to maintain that level of control and that kind of training often costs money.
Something tells me this kid didn't pay out of pocket, look into the story more and make sure it's real before using anecdotal evidence of your own experiences to validate this kid's story. He might be a spoiled prick of a son instead of what he claims to be.
If he was disowned then he surely did something with himself despite that, but if he wasn't, he deserves to be judged for what he is, not a homosexual, but a disgraceful son.
His parents don't have a voice in this story just yet, Seething Mom. Give them a chance to warrant the response you and the rest of this country are giving them.
Hi Tom, thank you for stopping by and commenting. And thank you for your measured approach. I had no idea when I wrote this post that it was going to be such a lightening rod for controversy. But because it has been, I do believe we all need to step back, take a breath and see what comes out.
I repeat what I have said earlier, if it turns out that Jonathan has not been honest and his parents have been unfairly maligned, I will repost on the front page and include a huge apology to Jonathan's parents.
And to those getting the vapors because I was so angry when I originally posted, please take a minute to familiarize yourself with my blog. I state very clearly that this is a place where I seethe about things like parents throwing their kids to the street like garbage. It is something I have seen happen many times and probably the reason I was pretty quick to believe Jonathan. And I am still not seeing any reason to NOT believe Jonathan, so I until I do see proof, I have nothing more to say on the subject.
His parents don't have a voice in this story just yet, Seething Mom.
It's been twelve days since this story broke. Given the fact that I'm sure Focus on the Family, the Family Research Council, the American Family Association, and dozens of other organizations would gladly provide his parents with airtime to tell their side of the story (and spin it as yet again proof that LGBT will tell any lie to get sympathy), I'm wondering what the hold-up is.
I've seen the video of Jonathan on AGT on YouTube and in the comment section, the story said by Anonymous #1 here is said in the comment section. The person that might've said this is Kinley Jones. Whoever this is is trying to spread his lies all around the Internet. YouTube is a scary world full of people who will stop at nothing to keep sabotaging those they want to sabotage.
I am very curiious about the parents as well. I was so overwhelmed by this story and I believe it was for a couple of reasons; I do not have children of my own but I have nieces and nephews I love very much and I could nor imagine passing such a judgement on any of them and I believe the second reason it moved me so much is I have been very indifferent about persons who are gay. I felt ashamed.I hope he can reconnect with his family and he and they can just love each other.
I hope Jonathan can reconnect with his family too Michelle. And as far as feeling ashamed about your feelings of indifference towards gay people - I'd far prefer that to the hatred and judgment that has wounded so many. I cannot speak for others, but I dream of the day when being gay is a non-issue and more people are indifferent to who other people are attracted to. Please don't be so hard on yourself.
thanks for writing.
I see a lot of self righteous, vain, pretentious & applause seeking comments by people who have no idea what the actual truth about this subject is.
This reminds me of the 'witch' hunt, when daycare people were accused of molesting children & Devil worship. A mob mentality rush to justice was demanded. Unfounded condemnations & accusations were widely reported as if proven facts. Those accused saw their lives, reputations & lively hoods destroyed. It didn't matter that a few years later, EVERYTHING was found to be false.
But by then Media had their ratings & circulation increases. Reporters got their raises & Pulitzers. Politicians were elected & the new batch of 'Flower Children' had moved on to another cause to exploit so they wouldn't have to actually do anything constructive to solve problems in the world, except 'demonizing' others. Unfortunately for those innocent people wrongfully accused, you can never fully regain your reputation & lives.
But go ahead & write some more self-serving aggrandizing statements & repeat accusations without proof or any attempt at being 'fair' balance. Heck let's Tar & Feather those parents. From the look of your blog, I can tell you are just trying to show how wonderful you are & what is best for those of us who haven't 'risen to your level of consciousness'
wow Timothy, you are pretty angry. And you are not the only one who has expressed doubts about Jonathan's story. If you know something about this story that we don't, please do share it with us rather than getting personal and nasty. Otherwise, I will repeat, as I have to all of the others who have shared your anger or doubts about Jonathan's story, if it comes out that we've all been duped, I will be the first one to apologize and beg forgiveness. But I have seen Jonathan's story repeated more times than I can count, which is why I find him believable. Your anger and low opinion of me after a brief perusal of my blog is not enough to change my opinion on the authenticity of Jonathan's story. You will need to do a whole lot better than that.
And again, if Jonathan's story is a total fabrication, then where are his parents? Why are they not vehemently contesting their son's claims? And why are they not telling their side of the story? I think we all know there is almost always two sides to a story. If they've got one to tell, they should step out and tell it now because their silence only lends credibility to their son's version of events.
I am glad you came by Timothy, we welcome all opinions, but it is nice when they are a little less angry and a little more thought provoking.
Who cares if he fabricated the story or not! Its a talent competion, not an autobiography. You you don't see anyone trying trying to find out how much money, assets or "bling" rappers actually have. Cuz most of them you see in videos are just a front. How I know? Cuz I work on them. Show biz is exactly that...a SHOW. Anything that sells and captures the viewers attention is part of the game. So sit back and just enjoy....no need for this useless Inspector Gadget BS.
Regardless of his story, you can see he has a lot of pain in his heart. Kids make mistakes and so do parents, if it wasn't for mistakes no one would ever grow or learn. With that said Jonathan is extremely talanted. He did mention his parents supported him and his music, everyone knows he had to have some if not all help from his family and it is evident he loves his parents and there is no doubt in my mind he would love for them to be with him now. Have you seen anyone there ever with him? He's alone and that in itself is sad. I would adopt him now if I could, although he's an adult still love is so much better than hate and this world is so full of hatered and bashing, people have become so cold towards others wouldn't it be nice if we could all start looking for the good in others than the bad? we all have both, still a person will flourish in life if people would just say something nice. Jonathan I love your voice and I can see your heart good luck I am cheering for you everyday. God Bless You. Renee
Hello,
My name is Mark Raymond Davis, I am 46 years old and I am here to tell the rest of the story.
I have read all the comments concerning Jonathan. I have heard the banter back and forth from those who troll this blog by using the anon moniker.
I have a connection with Jonathan's story. I too, was forced out of my home at the age of 17 because of my sexual orientation.
What gets me the most here is the automatic disbelief that this could happen. One may say that they could never do this to a relative but the sad an unfortunate truth is that you do not know until the situation touches you.
My parents(since passed)were evangelical Christians. They brought all of their children up in the Christian Faith. We had youth Bible studies in our home. Attended church and were religiously active.
At the age of 13 my mother found out I was gay. She found out because in her home privacy is not an option. She found a note to a childhood friend explaining how we could not go on doing the homosexual things we were doing because God did not like it.
At the point of receiving the knowledge, my mother gathered 3 leaders of the Faith to come exorcise the "Demons of Homosexuality" out of my body.
Long story short, My mother, to her death bed, denied any wrong doing and was adamant about not answering questions about her behavior towards me after realizing she could do nothing to change my sexual orientation. The only choice she had was to remove me from her family and deny any wrong doing.
On her death bed (Lung Cancer) she asked all my siblings (4 sisters) to urge me to sit and talk with her for more than the obligatory 5 minutes I gave her. I refused. I refused to give her solace in this last moment because she still insisted her belief in what she did as "Right".
Before you go and judge me for my actions concerning my Mother, I must state I am an Atheist. I do not have a religious moral code that guides me to feel empathy for those whose actions are guided by a delusional belief in supernatural powers.
I spent my 17th birthday on the streets of the small town of Aiken South Carolina. I spent the rest of my life coming to terms with the damage done by religious zealots and the parents that follow. One would think Christians don't falsify events. I am proof they do, and beyond that avoid, re-direct and obfuscate the facts to hide their shame over actions taken in the name of God.
Just so you know, this is more common than you think. Those who wish to converse without identifying themselves should not be believed under any circumstances, even if they later decide to reveal their identity.
Just saying
Mark, your story is so tragic and all too common. It is stories like yours coupled with the fact that my husband and I have a gay son we dearly love that I started this blog. I desperately want the hatred under the guise of some twisted bible passages, bellowed from the bully pulpits of right wing mega-churches to STOP. These hate mongering ignoramouses who themselves men of God are frauds and they are killing our children.
I am glad to see you come by Mark. You have found a kindred spirit with me. I may not be gay, but I have a son who is and I love him so much it hurts. I won't stop seething until more gay kids can say they have loving and accepting parents.
Love Seething Mom
I must add my thoughts to this ongoing blog. First of all I wish as I am sure Mark before me does that the writer of this blog had been my mother. My named is Lori I am 49 years old and have had no family contact since my family discovered I was a lesbian 30 years ago. I was raised in a devout Christian home and homosexuality was a sin that was treated like a plague. I tried for years to reconcile but to no avail. I now live on the other side of the country and my family is made up of friends. So it happens all the time, to the rich, middle class and poor. Stupid isn't choosy. The suicide rate for young adults is on the rise. If it is researched you will find quite a few just might be dealing with gay tendencies and living in families that were like ours
Lori, my heart broke reading your comment. I just cannot fathom how painful rejection by one's own family can be. Sadly like Mark, your stories are all too common.
I would take issue with your use of the word "stupid" though. I believe in the context in which you used it, a more appropriate word would be "ignorant". There is a difference, though for those like you and Mark, the difference is academic, the pain of rejection hurts no matter the root of the rejection.
I learned early on how devastating and destructive hate under the guise of religion can be. I saw its ugliness with one of my four brothers (who "found God" and became a judgmental monster) and in my PFLAG meetings where so many (read: most) of the profoundly wounded who walked through our doors would start their stories with "My family is very religious" and end it with "and they threw me out onto the street when they found out I was gay".
I get a lot of heat from trolls who come to this blog and take issue with my anger and disgust towards most organized religion. But until these morons have walked in the shoes of people like you and Mark, their criticisms are worthy of nothing but contempt and mockery.
I am sorry if my anger offends anyone (well - not really), but I give fair warning at the top of my blog to anyone who visits that I am a seething mama and this is the place in which I vent. So if you don't like it, get out. This is not the place for you.
Love you Lori, thank you for coming by and commenting.
I know Jonathan well I live in the small town of lawrenceburg tn where Jonathan grew up Jonathan spent the night at my house many times!! If y'all want to know more ask I have information!!
I will remain anonymous aswell to avoid drama. But I am here to tell you that there is truth to both sides of the story. I still live here, went to school with him, and was really close friends with his boyfriend at the time this all happened. Yes, his parents did kick him out for being gay. And yes, he did do everything the previous anon said he did. This is common knowledge to anyone that hung around him back then and was a pretty big gossip topic at the time. I'm not going to say That his actions were wrong seeing as it takes a pretty worthless family to do that to their own son, and although I am not gay nor have been persecuted by my own family, I can say I would have done that or worse out of rebellion and anger. Now going on live television and saying these things is fine by me. You want to disown your son you can own up to it. It's not like he can go in television and admit the things he himself has done. I mean he IS trying to win and remain a fan favorite. That would decrease his chances drastically. You can believe he is an angel all you like, but we all know the truth. Regardless he is one of lawrenceburgs own and we continue to support him. But I am sorry, you have been misinformed. No matter who the first two anons were, they were stating facts and that is no reason to attack them and call them a liar seeing as you are clueless as far as this topic goes. I'm sure you will attempt to call me on this too, and I don't care. I am merely telling you that both sides are correct to a certain extent, and he has created a false image of himself to win over the crowd. You can believe whatever makes it easier for you.
Hi Anon,
You are right there are always 2 sides to a story. And there has been enough of a reaction that I have to believe there is a lot we may not know. You seem like a very fair person who has looked at all sides of the story and I appreciate you coming by and commenting.
Though I do not know what Jonathan did in his teen years that has previous anonymous commenters so venomous and angry, I do know we all have things in our past we are not proud of, especially things we did as teens. I have to wonder though if the fact that Jonathan is gay has anything to do with the level of judgment and disdain he is getting or with the harshness of his parents actions. I simply cannot imagine any scenario in which I would have thrown out any one of my 3 children, and the fact that one of my children is gay would never have entered into the equation.
I want to thank you again for coming by. Your thoughtful perspective is very much appreciated.
Elo All, I have NO idea what my answer is going to come up as but I am Elna from South Africa. ALL I would like to say to everyone....... Look at a person's body language, look at the person's portrait image, REALLY look into their eyes and you KNOW who that person is! Jonathan is a neglected, rejected, misunderstood, broken child in all aspects of life!! When your children "act out", when they start "loosing the way" GET HELP FOR THEM and make it your life mission to understand and get to know your child. I as 44 year old mom of two STUNNING GIRLS (23)and(26) years old would not/could not IN MY WILDEST DREAMS imagine showing either one of them 'where the door is' EVER! No child deserves that, no matter WHAT the reason!!!
Hello Elna from South Africa! Thank you for coming by and sharing your thoughts. As a mom with children the same age as yours, I could not agree with you more.
Any parent who could kick their child to the street, even if he or she did something they should not have done (which 99.7% of children will do at some point in their life), should not be a parent. Our job is to love, nurture, and give our children the tools they need to be lovely, contributing members of the world.
And like you Elna, I cannot imagine any scenario in which I would kick any of my children out. Our job is to love our children unconditionally, make even their worst mistakes a teachable moment, and accept them for who they are - gay or straight.
Thank you for your perspective Elna, your children are so very lucky to have you as a mom.
Kim
I support his parents. I like jonathen allen and his music. and i would not mind if he was gay. i just dont support his gay acts which are gross and revulsive
I support your right to voice your opinion, though I find it "gross and revulsive" (I think you mean repulsive) and actually quite ignorant.
Alain in Canada says: - Its all for show, they all want the money!!! Haha, maybe, maybe not. Poor mama, this blog's keeping you busy. So anyhow I started writing and decided well I'm not just going to send it to the trash, so here it is.
Hopefully a wake-up call to all the haters
Who hasn't, made mistakes in their youth, god maybe? Not sure when I look at how we all behave, being his fruit and all? When a woman and a man decide to have sex, they may create something, a responsibility, a Jonathan Allen. You’re responsible for your child; you should support him/her for life. Is he a criminal, I don't think so, why is he free if he is? Your genes as parents are responsible for whatever the outcome, you made him the way he is, he certainly didn't turn gay drinking contaminated water. He has an amazing voice; his parents gave it to him. Apparently there are aliens out there to, but I don't think they'd want to reveal themselves yet to us humans, since we are still too shallow to accept gay/lesbian rights worldwide, since some whites still have issues with blacks and the other way around, not to cite all the hate still clashing between humans of different ethnic origins and since too many think Muslims are all crazy fanatics suicide bombers waiting for the right moment to press on the trigger, need I say more? Oh well, I guess that’s enough preaching, what do I know? It’s time for a cold refreshing beer for me, so I may dull out the pain of all this nonsense, because nothing here is news to me, I know how we are us humans, different from each other yet the same. Maybe some people need a cold shower, maybe it will help them get rid of their tunnel vision. Now a human having sex with a Martian, that's a different subject!! ;)
Elna again :-)
I re-read my comment and would just like to clear something out (for myself)
Please, please do not for a second think I referred to being gay as "act out" OR "loosing the way" I have many gay friends and love each one of them dearly!!
What I meant was, if they start doing REAL stupid, dumb and irresponsible, naughty things [not average teenage nonsense-like all kids do] I mean acting out in a cry for help.........
There is no such thing as a bad child ~ it is bad parenting!!
Thank you Kim for caring AND this blog! Regards me
I suppose you and I were on the same page to begin with so I knew exactly what you were saying. But I am glad you are clarifying. It is an important point. Thank you Elna.
I have a dog.
He is a very small dog.
But when I take him for walk and he is on his leash and see's another dog he barks, growls and tried to get at it to apparently tear it's throat out.
He is afraid.
Afraid of the unknown and unfamiliar.
I carefully introduce him to the new dog. I pet it, stroke it, and pass the smell to my dog.
Now he is educated.
Now he knows it won't harm him or replace him or cause him any problems at all.
He wags his tail.
He wants to play with his new friend.
We walk away, he is calm.
Then we meet another dog.
He barks and growls..
He is afraid....
I wonder if I am being too cynical but if you do a Google search for him, the first 5 pages of results are all titled "Gay Singer who was kicked out by his parents kills it on AGT" or variations therefore.
So the public and media has picked on 3 things in this order.
1. He is Gay
2. His parents kicked him out for being gay
3. He can sing
Can anyone see the problem here?
Being Gay should not define you - no more than being hetero should. Am I defined by the size of my penis or my wife defined by the size of her breasts?
So this is where I suspect that we might be being manipulated. Wouldn't it be 'amazing' if he wins AGT and 'miraculously' his parents come round to accepting his sexual orientation. Hmm, surely mainstream, peak viewing time TV could not be that devious?
You are right Anon, being gay should not define Jonathan, but if I were going to be cynical here, I'd say that maybe the show did see a guy with talent, who has a sad story to tell, and a villain(s). Everyone likes to root for the underdog and Jonathan gives us that opportunity.
If Jonathan wins and his parents show up at and make peace with their son, I have to agree, this could prove to be a ratings bonanza for the AGT show.
Seems a bit contrived, but I have to admit that I'd love to see Jonathan reunited with his family and a happily ever after ending.
Where are the parents coming out to defend themselves if Jonathan is lying? Either he speaks truth or, as a previous poster postulates, it's a set-up for the big happy family reconciliation.
But I too have seen this story too many times. I am a mom with a son about Jonathan's age who is gay. He is my son, and I love him and am proud of him and will stand by his side proudly. Too many of his friends have family who tossed them out and disowned them for being gay, so it's not too hard to believe Jonathan's story in the absence of evidence to the contrary.
In the United States we believe in the right to confront witnesses against us. Anonymous "evidence" means nothing.
Amen to that Melinda E. and welcome. Like you, I have a gay son whom I love with all my heart. My husband and I had to grapple with our son's new reality when he came out, but never in our wildest dreams would we have thrown him out to fend for himself.
There have been some comments and emails alluding to the fact that Jonathan did some things that angered his parents and that is why he was thrown out. One has to wonder if Jonathan was treated more harshly because he is gay. But if there is another side of this story, and I am sure there is, now would be a good time for the parents to come out and tell it. I am just not sure there is anything they can say at this point that would change my mind about things.
Thank you for your input Melinda. I know there are many who come to this blog just because they cannot get the love and understanding from their parents, but they know they can come here for it.
Anonymous saying maybe his story isn't true. Well it is that hard to believe that conservative parents do that in America today? Come on, it is not, you all know that. Cruel and ignorant people like those kind of parents and those who write his story is untrue. It is true, and terrible. Shame on his parents, shame on those who don't see the obvious violence of their coward acts.
I love this boys voice !! I cried when he sang! ! He touched my soul, no matter what he did or didn't do this is all about his talent and he can sing. He didn't bash his parents he said he loved them very much and just wanted them to accept him.
Good day !
In response to some of the comments and allegations:
Though taking your parent’s vehicle without permission is not stellar behaviour it is usually not considered stealing (in the eyes of the law) as by residing in the home you have access to the keys (you didn’t steal them) . And more importantly, so what? You are deflecting from the story as to why his parents disowned him. It is the issue, not his shenanigans.
When a parent rejects and disowns their child for being gay they put their child in danger .How is this Biblical? And shouldn’t churches be loving and supporting children not disowning them?
That is WJWD.
And that ladies and gentleman is why God made his adoptive parents barren. Obviously, not parental material! !!!
I grew up knowing Jonathan and his brother Logan and we all went to Lawrence co high and Jonathan deserves all respect as a human being gay or not
Amen to that Anon.
I, too, live in Lawrenceburg, TN and I have known Jonathan since he was about 15 years old and have seen him perform many times. He is an extremely talented entertainer regardless of his "background". Whether or not "Anonymous's statements are true or not is totally irrelevant! "Judge not lest ye be judged!" It's not for us to judge someone. What they do or say is between them and God NOT US! I pray he goes far in the entertainment world!
Why not from this day forward leave his past in the past and enjoy the talent his possesses. He is gay and thats not a hidden fact. He sings and has a god given talent. He is using his talent to become something and for me, I give him props for moving forward and starting a new beginning. Does not matter anymore what he did in his past. Does not matter anymore what his parents did. What matters is today and what will bring for him tomorrow. Because like it or not, he has only begun a very rewarding career. What and how he chooses to live it and say it, is of no interest to me. Nobody has a perfect past. I really do not care of his past. What I see infront of me and listen to him sing, makes me realize he has become a stronger person and will learn from the lessons and mistakes he has made. If his parents choose not to come forward and try to become a family once again, then it's their choice, but Jonathon now has choices as well. Cause his life will never be the same again especially after being recognized on national television of a talent and operatic voice that many of us can only dream of having. Believe me this is just the beginning of his career and I wish him luck in the competition. I do not see Jonathon looking back any further, he is living out a lifelong dream. Bravo Jonathon and may your career take you to stardom and beyond!
I just stumbled across your blog when I was researching a bit about Jonathan. I would just like to say there are plenty of Christians--true Christians--who do not discriminate against the LGBT community. Many of us view these people as the beautiful creations they are. They are perfect...just as God made them. Many of us, myself included, have friends and family who are are part of this community, and we love and cherish them.
The word "Christian" should not be synonymous with "bigoted" or "narrow-minded." It saddens me that this seems to have become the case. Unfortunately, there are those who like to think of themselves as Christians and operate under the guise of God to push their own hate-filled agenda. This is not God's way. This is not the way a follower of Jesus should behave.
It truly breaks my heart that the only religious experience some in the LGBT community have had in their lives has been tainted. I hope they will one day come to realize that, although religion may be flawed at times, God is not. They are His children, and he loves them...always.
Welcome Minx. And thank you. Your comment brought tears to my eyes.
I know many loving Christians who share your sentiments, but sadly I know quite a few who don't.
I cannot thank you enough for coming by and taking the time to comment. What you had to say will be a salve on the wounds of those who have experienced hate and homophobia under the guise of Christianity.
I enjoy your thoughts and I hope that Jonathan finds happiness, which does not necessarily include acceptance from his former parents. Their 'Trash' has turned out to be our treasure... we win, they lose.
4I am surviving parent, and a fan of Jonathan. To him I say, "If you ever need to talk to a veteran dad, I'm there for you. I'm proud of you. You need only call. I've already sent you my phone number and email address via your website." I'm not wishing to be "anonymous," but I'm having trouble submitting this otherwise. I can be reached at joel@nciti.org. I'm Joel Johnson, co-founder of the National Crisis Intervention Training Institute. My son, Adam, was killed on January 8, 2009. He was adopted at birth by my first wife and me. Throughout his remarkable life he was a tremendous blessing to us, I draw great comfort in the fact that my last conversation with him via phone was, as usual, loving, happy, and full of laughter and endearment. My last day on earth with him at my side was a perfect day, except that it didn't last forever. I would never have dreamed of disowning him, regardless of any circumstances, choices, mistakes, or preferences in his life. He was not gay, but If he was, it would not have mattered. I am struck by the cruel irony of being a surviving parent who would give the remaining years of his life for just one more day with his son... while other parents choose to discard their children like they are trash. Jonathan's parents kicked him out on his eighteenth birthday, and haven't seen him since. Maybe they regret it now, maybe not. One day they will. To them I say, regardless of your son's past mistakes (if any), and his sexual preference, you chose him when you adopted him. That commitment, in the eyes of God, is lifelong, not with an eighteen year expiration date. Repent of your own sin, seek out your son, and love him unconditionally, as Christ loves you. Isn't it good that, as God's adopted children, he hasn't inflicted the same judgment upon you that you inflicted upon your son? You are all in my prayers. I can be reached at joel@nciti.org
Hi Anon aka Joel Johnson, welcome and thank you for coming by and commenting.
First of all, please accept our condolences for the loss of your son. As a mom of 3 children, I cannot even imagine how horrible losing one of them would be.
I wavered a bit on publishing your comment with your private information in it. This site does have its fair share of nasty visitors (or as we call them: trolls), but you seemed insistent, so I obliged. If this ends up creating problems for you, please let me know and I will take the private info out.
And lastly, you are a wonderful dad, your son was so blessed to have you, and I can imagine that seeing this amazing and talented young man, Jonathan, tell his story must have been especially painful for you.
Like you, I cannot wrap my mind around any parent throwing their child out for any reason. Love for the greatest gift we will ever receive as parents should always be unconditional.
Christians must have Christ into their hearts, into their actions and not behave with the rules made up ny "fanatic Christians”.
Remember the Holy Inquisition and how proud we the Christians should be
For one i feel like the authenticity of the story doesnt matter! Romeo and Juliet is a fictional story with many life lessons just as i feel as this guys story is filled with life lessons!! We should people for who they are!! I recently came out to all my friends and i was honestly expecting them to hate me considering that they are the athletic frat guy types!! To my suprise they told me that they accept me for who i am and if anyone had a problem with me they had a problem with them too! Total suprise they still act the exact same! Now my parents are catholic and my dad is ex military and told me storys as a kid how him and his buds use to beat up "fags" !! They also preach how gays are going to hell ect... So i never plan to.tell them becuase they would probably do the exact same as this guys parents did!!! Soo i understand his mindset! I believe one thing i was born this way i have know since.the 5th grade.im.gay.and just came out at 21!! Why in the world would i.choose to live a.life filled.with judgement!! What i choose is to not live a lie!! Also to all the christians i dont care what you say because my god is a god of love and he will.not hate me for loving someone else man or female because if god is love than i am just being like god! ! Also remember judge not lest you be judged for you will be judged in the same manner that you judge another! And for everyone who.struggles with being gay my phrase is " i am who i am and if.you dont like.it thats your problem " And we need more people.like him to.stand up.and say that i am proud of who i am! ! Thats why i am on the way to law school because i am proud of me.and i will.fight for the right to.say it!!
Hi Anon, thank you for commenting. I am so proud of you for living your life authentically and unapologetically.
Your story has some parallels with my son's story. When he finally told his friends, their reactions were just as wonderful, nonjudgmental, and accepting as your friends reactions.
You have a great attitude and a fantastic life ahead of you. Good luck with law school.
Love seething mom
Hi, I'm Luis from Portugal.
I'm straight and have 4 kids.
For me being gay is not a problem, I work with both straight and gay people and some of each are very nice people and some of each are terrible "people", no matter they are gay or straight.
One of my kids is a gifted boy and his life hasn't been easy many times because he's different.
To be gay, to be gifted, to be black, to be short, when you are different from the rest of the people you live with, family, society, school, job, you are always mistreated because of your difference.
But in this particular case I have a question for all of you:
Would your attitude be different if he, instead of saying he was kicked out because he's gay, said he has been kicked out because he stole money from his parents and he stole his father's truck?
Sometimes people can be very cynical.
To be gay is acceptable for today's societies because it is politically correct to say and act like that.
Would people say the same if someone said he was a pedophile? Or a rapist? All those situations are mental disorders. To be gay is an hormonal disorder. It's not a disease but it is a disorder.
So please don't act like "the poor gay has been mistreated". If you want to defend gay people you should defend every kind of differences.
If you defend paedophilia is a disease, why don't you say the same about gifted people, gay people, or any other kind of difference?
People are not good or bad because they are different or not.
People are good or bad because of the way they act.
So, if Jonathan Allen did stole things from his parents he might be a bad person either he's gay or not.
Hi Luis, I am publishing your comment even though you have said some things with which I vehemently disagree (and a few things with which I agree). But this is a place where respectful, intelligent discussion is welcomed.
You say: "being gay is not a problem ... some of each are very nice people and some of each are terrible "people", no matter they are gay or straight."
I agree.
You say: "To be gay, to be gifted, to be black, to be short, when you are different from the rest of the people you live with, family, society, school, job, you are always mistreated because of your difference."
I would only take issue with the broadness of your acccusation. Not everyone mistreats those who are different. There are many who respect and celebrate differences. To paint all of society with intolerance is unfair. It actually tends to be the ignorant and uniformed who fear anything different.
You say: "To be gay is acceptable for today's societies because it is politically correct to say and act like that."
I bristle at this statement. And it is here that I think you are very wrong. This statement hints at the possibility that you believe gays "choose" their sexual orientation. You use the word "act" which is the give away for me. I do not "act" straight. But I "am" straight. At no point in my life did I make the decision to be straight. I just AM straight. And what is politically correct is NOT that you can say you are gay or "act like that", but that society can now accept that being gay is just as normal as being straight and that people are simply born that way.
You say: "Would people say the same if someone said he was a pedophile? Or a rapist? All those situations are mental disorders. To be gay is an hormonal disorder. It's not a disease but it is a disorder."
This statement is where you go off the rails Luis and completely give yourself away. And it is also where you join the ignorant and uninformed. Being gay is NOt a mental disorder, it is NOT a hormonal disorder, it is NO DISORDER at all. And if you know something most scientists in the world don't know, then you need to show us the results of your years of scientific research and study because as of today, there is absolutely NO scientific consensus on why some people are born gay. And by lumping gay people in with people who "choose" criminal behavior by engaging in activities in which there is only one consenting adult and one person who is being horribly victimized, you are accusing gays of being sexual deviants and worse. Two consenting adults of the same gender are NO MORE engaging in criminal or deviant behavior when they act on their desires than straight couples are when they act on theirs, but rapists and pediphiles will always be committing a horrible and deviant crimes when they act on their impulses because there are NOT 2 consenting adults involved therefore making one person a helpless victim. You exposed your true feelings about gays Luis. You do not look at gay people as different, like your son. You look at them as deviants and criminals. And I know that is not how you view your son.
You say: "So, if Jonathan Allen did stole things from his parents he might be a bad person either he's gay or not."
And to this I ask: "if" Jonathan did steal things from his parents, and we still do not know for sure that this is true, would his parents have thrown him to the street if he were straight? Parents are supposed to love their children unconditionally, even when they make mistakes, and as a parent yourself Luis, you know kids mess up. Throwing a child to the street like garbage for stealing is simply impossible for me to imagine. I have 3 children myself and I can guarantee you this Luis, I would never ever throw any of them out, no matter what their sexual orientation is. And my gut tells me that Jonathan Allen's sexual orientation probably played a big role in his parents decision to throw him out.
rGod said be my witness, not judges of anybody. Maybe This young man Jonathan did wrong things, maybe he has a loving, supporting parents. All the families have problems.God allowed them to find a common path. where they forgive each other mistakes, and move on as a family. Seething Mom Bravo to you for believe in the good of each person and for speak and fight for the rights of each person.
For the people who use the bible quotes to attack, discriminate, or tried to be God's executioners James 4:11 here is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?
I gotta throw in with the people who know there are two sides to every story. Why? Because I'm not going to take something so polarizing at face value. I'd like to see his parents side. He is adorable and a great singer.
Hi Seething mom,
I believe that your reaction to Luiz is unfair but I understand your gist. I warn you however that he has a point: you cannot reasonably draw the line between what you call sexually deviant and Gay. Being gay has a biological basis and is as such different; just like red hair or beautuful eyes or whatever is coded as hardware.
Calling homosexuality a disease is by all definitions incorrect, and I'm sure Luis would agree. Calling Paedophilia a disease as well. It is a problem, and leads to some totally unacceptable behavior in our eyes. (Mine also) Being Gay is becoming less and less a problem, most of all because there is an important distinction between straight and gay behavior on the one hand, and pedophile behavior on the other. Pedophile behavior creates victims. "Normal" straight and gay behavior does not. This distinction is in my opinion why homosexuality should not be an issue, and why I feel sympathy and support for gays. They need to be defended from the people who would curb their freedom.
As form Paedophiles: i beleive they did not chose their form, and though they must be prevented from making victims, cannot be seen as deviants anymore than shoe fetishists or whatever.
How we do this is via democratic decision, and a different subject.
Hi Bradley,
Thank you for taking the time to comment. You bring up some very valid points and have given me good reason to stop and think.
Yes, I probably was unfair when responding to Luis from Portugal. I have listened to our extremely over-the-top religious right (here in the U.S.) and their extremely homophobic rhetoric for far too long. So I do have an almost immediate, negative reaction whenever someone uses the words "pedophile" and "deviant" in the same sentence as the word "gay". Often the word "incest" is thrown in for good measure as well. These words have been hijacked and used so much in very ugly ways that I just naturally go on the offensive when I hear them. So just for good measure I decided, after reading your comment, to look up the definition for deviant, which falls in line with what you were saying: "departing from usual or accepted standards, esp. in social or sexual behavior."
I will not promise to change my reaction to the use of these words when discussing gays - they have no legitimate place in the conversation other than to conflate being gay with something repulsive, evil or sick. Maybe Louis was being sincere, but I will not tolerate the conflation of pedophilia with homosexuality. One behavior involves a victim and perpetrator, and the other involves 2 consenting adults. And in the sense that gays make up a small percentage of the population, I will agree that their attraction to the same sex does deviate from that of the straight population.
We give birth to our children and bring them up in the best way that we can. Of course they will stray off course and get up to mischief and maybe not always live up to our standards and expectations: such are children !! As parents we MUST support them and love them and care for them and do our best for them and NEVER disown them for their choices in this world. We are all different and should ALL be accepted no matter our colour, race, or sexual preference ..... Jonathan: YOU ARE AWESOME !!! You are cute and charming and handsome and your singing voice is INCREDIBLE !! I wish you nothing but success and stardom !!!!!! GOOD FOR YOU !! Be strong !!
Hi, I stumbled across this blog yesterday and decided to comment. Before we get technically and picky, I would like to remain anonymous for various reasons.
This summer I turned 18, and due to my parents' religious beliefs, they couldn't accept the fact that I was gay. Regardless of me being their son or not, I was kicked out of my house. Obviously, this wasn't my choice, but due to their belief system, they couldn't have me around. It's been a few months since I've been kicked out and I can honestly say, that I spend the majority of my time crying. As of right now, I'm living with my partner (thankfully). However, even as Anon #1 and Anon #2 pointed out, regardless of discrepancies in Jonathan's family, it is no reason to kick out a kid.
Obviously, I had my occasional arguments with my family. I'm in no way saying I was the perfect child. I'm also not saying I'm the ideal child. I just think that I still have a lot to learn.
I'm young, I still have a lot to go through, but I feel that I can express myself in this blog because of the similarities that Jonathan and I have. After hearing his story, I found the courage to come out to my parents, which resulted in me being kicked out on my birthday. Obviously with no financial backing, I'm still looking for a job and I can't enter university without money.
But that's my story. I hope regardless of Jonathan's hidden background, you can open up your minds to see a defenceless kid who was shunned the opportunity at a parent's embrace. That's all
Hi everyone. I watched this is agt and i cried, it was so emotional then i did a bit of research and stumbled across this blog. i read every comment and i have to say i believe him. I am straight but i have many friends who are gay. one of them, just like Johno was kicked out of his home becuase his parents thought he was a shameful disgrace. i gave him money every week to support him and when his parents found out they complained to my parents, my parents turned around and said, "and why are you concerned about this child who was kicked out by his own parents, you!" we adopted my friend and raised him like a son, brother and friend.
i guess my point is that the world we live in is heartless. but that doesn't mean we should sit back and let it be. whether or not there is another side to Johnathons story it doesn't matter the fact is his parents kicked him out and no matter what he does that does not give you the right to disown him.
BTW I am 16 years old i supported my friend through a part time job in case anybody was wondering. Johno's parents are horrible parents, even if it was his decision to leave they shouldnt have let him. everybody is the way they are because God made them that way so if you have a problem take it up with him when you are standing at the gates of heaven, tell him that there is something wrong with gay people. look him straight in the eye and say this, or are you to much of a coward?
Thanks: John
You both are discussing horrible peoples in this in tire world. You both should be deeply as games of your selves. Every single night you will cry and regret leaving your in rebel gifted son. He deserves much much better than a couple of stupid peoples. Now he's got a real family. Millions of peoples love him including me, who support him and accept him for Who he IS!!! That is something you've never done. You should beg on your knees!!! For his forgiveness!!! And I promise you will regret it for the rest of your selfish lives!!! We are all disgusted by you peoples.
I just wanted to come on here and say something simple.
Whether or not you believe that Jonathan did what is claimed, let's be sure to remember that this was a teenager responding to the irrational, in-compassionate decision of two adults to decide that their child was lesser because of his sexuality.
As a gay man who was kicked out of the house several times even before I was 18, I can assure you, teens won't respond like respectable adults when their parents show them hate.
You are so right. You've been there. My heart goes out to everyone who has come here and spoken from experience. Thank you.
I hope I don't get crucified here. I am a Christian. I don't agree with the gay lifestyle. BUT if he were my son, I would not have kicked him out. NO WAY! I would love him, love him, LOVE HIM!!! I don't even agree with my own straight kids with their ideas and beliefs, but it doesn't mean I love them any less. So if my son turn gay, I would not agree, but it would not make me love him any less. I would still help and guide him to stay close to God who loves us, in spite of us, and to him help to find his life employment so he can support himself instead of living on the streets.
My name is TJ, from Southern California. We all make mistakes everyday, and we all have to live with decisions we have made. From the outside looking in, it can be so easy to judge a situation by just believing what we hear. I have learned throughout my life that hurt individuals hurt other individuals, sometimes intentionally and sometimes not. With all the different personalities, religions, and beliefs in the universe, there is no wonder why people are so hateful. I was raised Christian, and I am still a practicing Christian today. We as Christians are taught that God is Love, that he loves all things, never stops loving us, and loves everyone even with our faults. His word teaches us to LOVE and TREAT everyone as He would treat us. No where in the Bible does it say that just because you are gay, bisexual, a thief, liar, or adulterer that you are unloved. In California it is a lot easier, and very accepted to love who you want to love(Which is the way it should be everywhere). I used to live in Nashville, TN, and being that the South is also known as the "Bible Belt", it is extremely frowned upon to be anything other than a regular Sunday Church Goer. As long as you go to church, and you keep a clean reputation you are bound to fit in, if you don't you are basically left out in the cold. My parents hurt me when I told them I had a different opinion on Gay Marriage, Equality For All, and Gay and Lesbians adopting. See we all have a choice to make everyday. Do we choose to live a life of how we were raised, or do we do the uncomfortable thing and stand up for what is right? I chose a long time ago that I was always going to treat everyone the same, even if that left me feeling uncomfortable. If it is true what J.A. says about his parents kicking him out because of his sexuality, then they are most likely insecure, or angry for whatever odious reason. They are most likely directing their insecurities towards him in a twisted way, because that is probably all they know how to do. When you have kids, there is no manual to go by, or a step by step list to follow to make sure you do everything correctly. We can only do our best, and hope we learn from our mistakes. Please don't be confused as to where I stand on disowning your children. I am completely repulsed that parents would do such a thing, I don't care what your child did. You stick by your children no matter what, or don't raise them. Thank you for letting me share, and I look forward to following your blog.
dear seething mom, thank you for your blog. your responses are great and you are an inspiration. i am a mother of an 8 yr old boy and God only knows his future. Can you believe even the new Pope has said who am I to judge? If only the previous Popes had his vision!! if his parents want to keep their privacy and not comment then so be it. just to cut off all ties? no matter what he did in the past, stealing or whatever? forgiveness is the path to heaven. hopefully his righteous parents will come around. jonathan is open to communication at least. if he did horrible acts like anon says then he can say he is sorry and they can forgive him that. i mean it sounds like they are old school christians, just feed them all to the lions. fake christians gotta love em.only they will be forgiven. maybe they should ask the Pope
It doesn't matter what is true and what is lie in all those stories. The boy with such a voice was sent by God and that's all what matters.
I was fortunate when I began my own "coming out" process, as my parents & family all attended a very Fundamentalist Christian church, that they didn't kick me out. My heart goes out to all the Jonathan Allens of the world, 'cause I know what could have happened, yet didn't. My parents - as was said by someone else here recently - disagreed with the fact that I am same-gender oriented (my choice of words, even as young as a 16 y/o), yet always let me know that I was/am loved by them, regardless. Careless actions aside, they kept loving me, to their last breath, and my siblings and their offspring continue to this day ( I am quickly approaching age 60). I know that there are many parents who would/do kick their children out, yet far many more who do not. Jonathan's behaviours before the adoptive parents kicked him out may certainly have been less than exemplary, and I won't argue that point. The actions of some teenagers - and some of us so-called "grown-ups" too - can be selfish, careless, thoughtless and even heartless acts. I am not excusing the parents, yet -AS I HAVE LEARNED OVER MY NOW-NEARLY 60 YEARS ON THIS PLANET - the facts (and the realities of some of us) may very well lay somewhere between the two viewpoints. One of the reasons I have backed away from "the church" (be they liberal or conservative) is that too many have made the gay issue "The" issue of the Age, and preach against the evil "them," instead of ministering to hurting people. One of my pastors - back years ago now - said "hurt people HURT PEOPLE," and "the Christian church is the only institution that shoots it's wounded.". True or not, his point hit home for me in recent years with the realization that the (subjective) experience is irrelevant when there's politics involved. My own experience in "the church" has become so "soured" by the political agendas of the polar opposites that my own story - my own "reality" - is not welcome. "Too straight for the gays and too gay for the straights"? Probably so. I dare not speak of my own experiences, only out of fear of even MORE rejection from other Christians, and the church world (at large).
Sometimes, people just don't "fit in," yet - as I now see it - some people are MADE to "not fit in," by agendas, or just plain ignorance and fear (truth be told). The Lawrenceburgs and Tope as (as in Westboro Baptist Church) of the world have soured me to "the church," or at the VERY least, have only succeeded in making me even more distrustful and even more jaded towards other Christians.
Sad.
That should have read "Topekas.". (Smartphones are not always smart!)
Let me start by saying that i am a very proud Christian, and while I believe that homosexuality is a sin, it is not my place to judge anyone their sins as I have plenty of my own. I do not choose my family or friends based on anything other than their character as a human being. I have two children and could no imagine kicking my child out of my home for being gay, no more than I would kick him out for telling a lie, or cheating on his partner. But my problem with most of your comments is this. I have witnessed first hand a parent that HAD to kick her child out of her home and distance him from their family. He was given every chance and opportunity imaginable, but he is an addict, and because of his addictions, he is a theif, he is violent, he is very sick. His parents have supported him and paid for Rehab, gotten him jobs, lived as prisoners in their own home, all to try to help him, but he will not help himself. Its a horrible decision to have to make, but when the welfare of their young daughter is at stake, you have to make it.
Didnt mean to get so lobg winded, and I know my comment isnt really on topic, but I just wanted everyone to take a moment and think before you speak or type for that matter. Until u have been in that situation, of not feeling safe and secure in your own home, do not say that under absoltely no circumstances would you ever kick your child out. I promise you, there are circumstances, and if not, it could cost u or your other children their lives.
I agree with you, although that would be clearly dealing with the person's addiction/mental instability, and generally has NOTHING to do in dealing with the person's sexuality. If the person's addiction is that out of control, it would be well-advised to kick them out for a while, or permanently for those whose relative is that FAR out there/out of control. In therapeutic settings, it's called an intervention, although what you just describe is a couple of steps behind a standard intervention. Hope they find the help they (apparently) "need."
I'm an ex-christian for at least 40 years now. I grew up with fundamentalist Christians that took the bible literally. It took studying the history of religion as an adult, not just Christianity, to begin clearing my mind and body of it's teachings, and I still suffer it's side affects at the age of 64.
When will Christians be held accountable for handing down ancient prejudices to each generation, I wondered. And still wonder.
How does one worship a God that would create the possibility of homosexuality in a small group of people and yet condemn them to an eternity of hell fire if they dare be open and honest about who they are. How does one survive this planet who followers who create a hell on earth for anyone that IS.
I once heard someone say spare me the wrath of your God? I thought to myself, indeed, please do spare me the wrath of this being I neither see nor hear. But more important, for the only life we are absolutely sure of here on earth, Spare us the wrath of this God's followers.
Frankly it amazes me that this conversation is necessary in 2013, but it does seem that recent events has brought this all to a head.
I think it's definitely time we deal with reality and this never ending campaign against homosexuals.
And only religion can do this, ultimately, because it is where it originated after all.
I grew up having no voice, and I was an obedient child, who acted out in similar ways to this young man. Not because I understood what I was doing but because I wanted my parents love and didn't know how to get it. Even negative attention beat none at all.
My parents were Christians, one would think they would be loving, but not all are. My parents went to their graves, distanced from All their children in the end.
They missed out on the wonderful adults we became, and all to please a God they never saw or spoke to. There is little hope for the future of religion if it can't find a way to evolve. I can only hope that the god of the bible does not exist. Whether this god exists or not. I refuse to live my life being someone I am not for the sake of those that fear me, irrationally.
How can any religion speak of truth while they denies others the right to live in truth.
I'm 64 and my own loving and respectful relationship has lasted 30 years, I'd not give it up even for a God I could see and feel, and I would not expect a loving and all powerful God to ask such a thing of me.
If a God worth worshiping, exists, than it's expressed in this young man's voice, as well as in his wish to be honest and to live as who he is, not what we expect him to be, out of sheer ignorance and biblical prejudice.
All things evolve and it's time for religion, to either catch up, or die out. As it is, the church is turning away some of the most wonderful human beings. And that is very sad.
I've chosen anonymous because I prefer not to leave my email address.
Thank you for taking the time to write such an eloquent and well thought out comment. I could not agree with what you've said more.
My 4 brothers and I grew up with a fundamentalist father. He just died a few weeks ago --- estranged from almost everyone. The only one that stood at his bedside was my one brother who is a fundamentalist as well. He is also completely estranged from his siblings.
There are scars that will never go away. Your thoughtful letter was indeed timely in my situation. But I'd go just a bit farther and say that no child should have to grow up with what we grew up with. It is child abuse, especially if one of those children turns out to be gay, which was not the case with my siblings or me, but it still ended up being hell. Strong words? Not in my experience or the experience of so many of the people who have come and commented on this page.
Again Anon, thank you for writing. Your words really hit home for me and I am sure many others.
I am so glad you found peace. I hope one day I can too.
Thank You for you kind words and for this page. I was wandering around in the music youtubes and came across a video of this young man singing and wanted to see if I could find out anything more about it, he seemed to disappear after that, then I found this page.
I post a lot in a forum where it's mostly heterosexuals and I can't you tell how ugly people can be about homosexuality and it's more than clear they have no idea what they are talking about, yet they all seem to have the same miss information and are most often social conservative evangelical christians.
I spent much of my adult life insulated from any in your face contact with haters, mostly because I am the type person that won't take any nonsense off of people, and maybe it's because I had enough nonsense from my family for enough years.
So I didn't experience the ugly stuff I see that goes on in some circles and on the internet.
People are standing up to it but not enough. And unfortunately as more people become enlightened, even more are becoming deliberately miss informed by anti-gay evangelical organizations who all share the same miss information.
Many folks are still afraid to confront these bullies for fear of becoming their targets. Not me, I'd stand up to them even if I were not gay myself.
As for finding peace. I don't know if one ever finds peace from the experience of fundamentalist families even if they issue is not homosexuality. I came out after I was out of my families control, which is probably a good thing. I just found others who became my family. It's not the same of course, but thank goodness there are people in the world that will be there when your own aren't.
Just look out for the Christian Right Anti gay Organizations. These people are down right scarey. And the more I learn about them the more concerned I get. They aren't your average Christians, but they have much power and influence over the average Christians.
God loves us all. Gay straight trans white black ALL.
hi !
It's the first time I set my eyes on thig blog, and I like it!
I read the comments, and I just wanted to bring my own opinion, because... I'm inspired.
Sometimes, I wonder why is it so difficult to just have acceptance. I'm 37, I'm gay, and I NEVER had to face homophobia. I came out when I was 16, my parents accepted it very well, and they never made any difference between me or my straight brother and sisters ! Life was just normal, being gay was not a shame, but it wasn't something that defined me !
It's a large part of the problem actually. I think that people are allowed to think and live exactly the way the want, as long as they are not hurting anyone else. Respect. You can read horrible things about gays, mainly because of religious view. It's not acceptable for me, especially because God is supposed to love everyone ! But I must say that sometimes I'm pretty shocked by the way gays are behaving too... I know it sounds intolerant. I lived my life just being Fred. That's who I am, I'm defining myself through what I achieve, not through a community. I don't understand the concept of "gay culture". Why would I read only gay books or go out in places where only gays go, or read gay magazines ??? For me it doesn't make sense.
I guess that unfortunately, a large part of rejection comes from that. Ask any straight people about gay, and even the more tolerant will probably mention someone closer to the birdcage than just the average guy. That's the kind of damages that gay community did to itself. They just accumulated the clichés about themselves, from the surabundance of gay reference, to the over-effeminate behaviour (I have nothing against that, everybody is the way he is, but honestly, some are deliberately forcing !), not forgetting the promiscuous sex life. Try it, as any straight people, all those things will come first in their mind ! And gay who are "clichés" are just a LARGE minority. But it's the one people keep in their mind.
I guess that everyone should make a step in the right direction. The straight should stop to pay attention to other people orientation. But gays should also stop to keep themselves aside. What is the point in asking for "the right for indifference", if it's to run to a gay bar, where there will be only gays, talking about gay things, all the time ?
I'm gay, and never think in terms of being gay or being straight. My friends are my friends, no matter their orientation, it's their private life. What's happening in their bed is their business, and I accept their partner as my own friends, I don't care if it's a boy or a girl. I don't feel different, because I am NOT different. People don't make me feel different, because I don't ACT different. Being gay doesn't mean that you have to wear gayness like a suit. Just be yourself, respect other people, and be WHO YOU ARE, with your opinion, your way to see things, your way to behave...
And you'll see that acceptance is probably easier than you think. Most of the people don't care at all if you are gay or not. I had friends who told me to be very carreful with a friend they have because he was "super homophobic". This guy is now one of my best friend ! He wasn't homophobic at all, he just made one day a remark to a guy who was cruising him. He said "I'm not gay", the other one insisted, he tried to kiss him ! He just pushed him a bit, and there we are, the homophobic reputation was there. I'm sorry, but if ANYONE would try to kiss me if I don't want to, I don't care if it's a girl or a boy, I would push him/her too... And don't tell me that it's so rare, how many times will you see gays being VERY (too much) insisting about a guy ? This is not homophobia, it's just being annoyed.
Sorry I was probably confusing and long and totally of topic but I really wanted to express.
I just read the comments above... It touched me too. My mom had always a huge faith, but since my dad died in 96 she jumped in fundamentalist religion... I was scared, but she managed to do that in an "intelligent way". She loves my man, she considers him as her own son, homosexuality is not a problem. She is just sad because she knows perfectly that she will never be able to talk about that with her people at the church... She respects me and I respect her need to be a part of something powerful, so it's a relief to see that some people can mix faith and respect !
As a parent that spoke too hastily and now have daughters that won't have contact with me...I can't find the words to express my regrets. I did not break off contact because of their sexual orientation. To be honest, I'm not sure, except for one daughter, who is married with kids. Gay, straight, bi...it's not my "choice" to make, nor is it my choice who they have as a partner. (I realize orientation is not a choice, per se, but I am stating it this way for the sake of argument) My concern is that they are happy and pleased with their choices.
That said, the reason I did kick one daughter out and stop contact with another, had to do with how I was being treated. I realize I am responsible, as the parent, for the fact that they are very disrespectful, but in my defense, I did not know any better. I tried to raise them in a less demanding fashion than my parents were with me. The results were, that I spoiled them and did not discipline them enough, or discipline them consistently. I went too far the other way, hoping to avoid being my overly strict parents.
My concern, is seeing parents write, that kids should never be turned out. As a single parent with a child that is physically and verbally abusive, one that continues to use drugs or steal. If counseling and therapy prove unsuccessful, then certain options may become necessary, especially once they are a legal adult.
I wish I hadn't waited till I said things that I did out of anger, I wish that I had tried more options, earlier. Overall, I wish that I possessed better parenting skills. However, I can see situations when "tough love" may be appropriate. I just think a parent should be fully aware that opting to disown a child can have permanent results.
Love your kids and know how truly blessed you are, if they love you back. Never kick them out just for being who and what they are.
I have to put my in mytwo cents worth after reading most of the comments. There really is, in general, a problem with Christians and homosexuality. They generally do not accept or condone it. There are, of course, exceptions to everything. My experience as a gay man is that I have seen the "hatred" by God fearing people firsthand. Many of them think this is a choice and we made it. NOTHING could be further from the truth. No one in their right mind would choose a life style that puts them in the path of so much hatred, spite, condemnation, and danger. I believe God made me and other gay people for his own reasons, maybe to test our strengths. I grew up a long time ago when it was almost a crime to be gay. To this I can only say thank goodness that I was raised in a liberal state. Conservative states, usually are in the south like where comes Jonathan, and are generally against homosexuality and are usually part of the Bible Belt or otherwise just religiously oriented. My neighbor, who is a church going woman is very biased. I once asked her if she believed that AIDS was God's punishment for homosexuals, her answer - "absolutely". I then asked her why then do babies get AIDS. She became very angry and left. Religion does affect people's viewpoints and prejudices.
My adopted son once stole money from me and tried to blame the handyman. I did not, for even an instant, consider tossing him out so I have a problem believing that was the reason, even if Jonathan did do it. He was thrown out because he was gay and no other reason in my experiences. When my father found out after I was an adult, I was disinherited and everything went to my brother. I was thrown out by my father (divorced at that time) as I was, as my mother told me later in life, an accident. So my father threw me out because I was not planned and disinherited me because I was gay. Yes, I believe Jonathan was kicked out because he was gay and his parents are conservative Christians.
I'm a retired RN and I worked for 12 years with a mother who had a son the same age as mine. Both of us talked about our children a lot and obviously loved them very much. I was shocked when she told me if her son "turned out gay," she would disown him. There is NOTHING that would make me even consider disowning my son. He's the greatest gift his father and I ever received. He isn't gay, but if he was, I would welcome his partner as I would a daughter in law. The other boy is also straight but was arrested for oxycontin abuse and theft. My son has never been in trouble with the law, but if he was I would try to help him. I believe in God, but people need to realize that MAN interpreted the Bible. The most common one used is the KING JAMES version. I highly doubt God came down and spoke exclusively with King James. This is what religion does to people. I was raised southern baptist, but do not attend church because of attitudes like these so called parents have. Every fetus is asexual. It is the timing of hormones being introduced that determines gender. Some children are born with ovaries AND testes. Gender identification disorder is real, although it has nothing to do with homosexuality. I wish people would at least research biology with an open mind before commenting on issues like this.
Thank you Jayne for taking the time to comment. Your perspective is invaluable. One of my sons is gay and I can say unequivocally that he is the greatest gift my husband and I could ever have received. Even if we could change him, we would not. And thankfully, more and more parents are finding out they have a gay child and are quite comfortable with it. Shame on the so-called churches that continue to do horrible damage to families by condemning, demeaning, and spreading hatred towards their gay children in the name of God.
I love how none of the other contestants get the same level of scrutiny on their background stories that Jonathan is receiving, it's obnoxious. And it's obvious that some people posting here are just plain old homophobic, and are trying to throw anything that will stick to discredit him or defend his parents actions. To the person who said, that to have such a great voice one would have to have had support from their parents, thus implying that somehow Jonathan must be lying because he received support from his parents... Are you really that deluded? You know there's a good chunk of a young person's life when their parents don't yet know their child's sexual orientation until that child either reveals it themselves or the parent go snooping, obviously the parents could have very well provided these lessons before discovering he is gay. There is no defending kicking a son out for being gay at the age of 18. He was just a kid, even if the accusations against him are true the parents were the ADULTS and should have known better. To defend their actions is plain despicable and a great many of you ought to be a shamed of yourselves, and I truly pray that many of you anonymous posters attacking Jonathan relentlessly and defending the parents never have children as you clearly have no hearts. To put it simply, your bigotry shines through in your desperate attempts to defend the parents of Jonathan. I'm sure you would look for even the most minuscule reason in Jonathan's past to excuse his parent's conduct. Just admit your bias and get some help and stop taking it out on this guy and trying to defend other homophobes of your ignorant ilk. Pathetic, simply pathetic.
And thé bible Saïd to forgive how much time to our sons .
I find it curious how lost people get on the subject of the Christianity vs homosexuality; and it's on both sides. I am a Christian, and I don't believe the bible condemns homosexuals, it condemns homosexual acts. I don't believe a God of love will "condemn" a person for the way he feels when he or she CANNOT help feeling that way, what he does condemn is our conduct, straight or gay. Homosexuals are no different in that regard than heterosexuals. God condemns fornication, not sexual feelings. When Christians condemn homosexuality they often times get lost on homosexuals themselves and likewise, other Christians who support their gay loved ones, lose focus and come across as though they support homosexuality itself. Yes, of course you love your gay son or daughter, but as a christian, do you really condone homosexual acts themselves? Or yes, you're a christian and are convinced homosexual acts are immoral, but do you really condemn homosexuals themselves? Bottom line, I believe homosexuals and heterosexuals are equal in the sight of God and both are bound by the same laws. A heterosexual who commits fornication has no space to judge a homosexual who does the same.
I am so very so for how they treated you. I am a Christian. And that means I love unconditionally. I have 3 young men in my life that I spent all of my time with. And they came out as gay as teenagers and young adults. Not once did I ever change how I fell about them. I love them the same and they are me best friends. The God I believe in is about love not judgment !
I know it's a few years since these postings started, but think things have got worse in the last year or so. I'm the mum of 4 kids, 2 straight & 2 gay. The elder of the 2 gay children has lived with his wonderful partner for around 6 years now, however his parents do not treat him equally with his siblings, almost like he isn't worthy, so sad. How can any parent, let alone mother, treat their own flesh and blood so badly as some of the previous posts have stated, I cannot imagine a scenario where my boys don't contact me or vice versa, I love all my children & now grandchildren equally & unconditionally :)
I take my 'faith' from humanity and have never understood why anyone would want to be part of a belief system that encourages hatred or casting out of family regardless of who they are. I recently had a conversation with a 'Christian' woman who made horrible uncouth remarks about the LGBT community saying it was a disgusting lifestyle to choose, so I asked her when in her life did she choose to be straight ? She did not reply but walked away, says it all really.......
I too am coming into this late. Having 6 children and each with a different personality and path in life these comments I find interesting. When my children became 18 we spoke about the changes in some rules and some rules that were still not allowed... like partners staying over. That later mainly because I had a 10 year gap so didn't feel the little ones should be exposed to certain things just yet. However.... as a parent that is placing a roof over their heads past the age of 18 it was MY rules or move. My oldest was never kicked out and at almost 20 decided she and her girlfriend wanted to live together. Out of my 6 I did however kick one out after she hit me (we don't hit ANYONE in our home). I'm disabled so very unsteady on my feet. She was 19 and moved from California to S Carolina to live with her mom after not being welcomed back. I will add that as she left with her belongings and a boyfriend that witnessed her appalling behavior I stated several times as they got into the car to leave that I love her but not her actions with me. Yes I'm that wicked step mom BUT the older kids didn't want to live with their mom and I'd been with them from 9mths,2 &7 asked to live with their dad and I (at the ages of 6,7 &11). Today she is 24 and thanks me for expecting so much from her and resents her actions. During a visit when my mom passed away she was chatting with her dad and told him...Dad I don't want to make you or mom feel bad but if it weren't for Janet I wouldn't be so driven as i am today! Janet expected allot because she knew we could succeed! If she didn't push we'd be one of those kids sitting in the bedroom playing video games all day! This year she just started med school and the other two are in successful relationships and jobs. My bisexual daughter married an amazing young man! She went to all high school dances with her girlfriend and they lasted 9 years together. I praised my daughter often for the courage she had to not just address middle school and high school drama as a straight person but as bi with not giving one rats ass what anyone thought! I'm not the perfect mom..... Yes the evil wicked step monster everyone thinks immediately hearing you are a step mom! My kids know they can talk to me about ANYTHING.... almost to a fault.. lol. The daughter i kicked out calls me for advice before asking her bio mom or dad. In fact she went through a terrible relationship while in S Carolina and we spoke several times a day. I was brought up Christian but the type that went to church and didn't live it outside of church. Today I don't attend church but live a Christian life. My surroundings are created by God so they make for perfect worship. I had a neighbor once that told me that she would place het child in faith based therapy if they came out to her. My sister upon finding out my daughter married a guy said she'd been praying my daughter would change her ways. These being two "Christians".... though my sister is one of the most awful people i know and appalling things she has called her own children! Jonathan has a God given talent and kudos that his parents supported it! Appalling they can't accept the child 'they created"! I understand regrets in pare bring as i have many! What i don't understand is being a parent means we nurture them into the individual they become but discard them if they don't follow what we thought they should be! I pray that Jonathan's parents hearts soften and they are able to accept the full package Jonathan has become. If not God has certainly blessed Jonathan with millions of supporters around the world that has brought him great healing. Safe to say the parents don't have many supporters for their actions!
Sorry for spelling errors above as i couldn't figure out how to edit in previewing.
Janet, thank you for the great letter. You state in your posted comment that you are not the perfect mom, but I would take exception to that. None of us are perfect parents, but you win the award for being as close to perfect as you can be. You were handed children who were not yours and raised them, loved them, guided them, and accepted them as your own. You are perfect in my eyes --- and probably in the eyes of children like Jonathan too.
After reading all the pros and cons comments, I'm bewildered that so many people refuse to name themselves. In this world we all have decisions, opinions, things to account for, etc. Our world is based on judgement, certainly not love and respect. Though raised in a very conservative Catholic home I was fortunate for my father who was from Europe and taught me that everyone is the same. Living under German occupation for five years as a young child he never demonstrated anger.
I have lost five (5) dear friends to AIDS virus and now people should realize it was NEVER a gay disease. These people are still human and when dying still emotional on leaving the ones they love.
So forget the society stigma and love everyone for who they are. NOT what you judge or expect them to be in life.
God says.... loves those as you would love yourself.
Beautifully stated. Thank you for your lovely words of wisdom.
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