I Am So Tired of Seething

Some days I wake up and I feel like I have not slept at all. I just cannot shake the feeling of constant fatigue that comes from seething anger that alternates with sadness that alternates with a sense of hopelessness that goes back to seething anger again. It’s an endless cycle. The good days have become fewer and fewer.

Even the President’s low poll numbers infuriate me. I just cannot help but wonder how there could be anyone still approving of the job this president is doing. And I am not the only one :

Mr. Bush has the support of somewhere between 36 and 39% of the American population.

Who, in God's name are these 39%? This mystefies me.

Imagine that you have a dentist with Mr. Bush's level of competence. Would he still be your dentist? How much novocaine would it take?

Imagine that your financial advisor had Mr. Bush's record of success. I hear there are some bag boy jobs open down at Kroger's. Hurry, they may still be taking applications.

I search the world for an explanation, but I find the answer, as is so often the case, in the comments sections of various blogs. Why do some people still support Mr. Bush? Pity.

And though I do not buy that it is just the pity party people left supporting Bush, I do have to admit that I too feel sorry for the man. I think he is in waaaaay over his head and has been for a long time. But I do not count myself among the 36% to 39% who approve of him. It is the fact that I pity him that I do not support him. I support presidents that I can be proud of and in whom I have confidence, not pity.

No, I think any supporters that remain now are the die-hard bible beating fundamentalists who will never ever support anyone who does not bow to their demands. These remaining hanger on-ers are the people who don’t listen to any arguments that do not support their beliefs. These are the people with whom civil discourse is impossible. These are the people who are never wrong. These are the people who do not bend. These are the people who say that it is their way or the highway - end of story. And this is why I vacillate between depression and seething rage. I know that at this point these people are the base for whom Bush will do anything to keep happy. The rest of us ---- well we are screwed. And if you happen to be gay, like my son, you are really really screwed because you are evil and should have no rights and should be marginalized into oblivion according to the Bush base. So what do you think a president with low approval numbers is going to do to keep his base happy and chipper?

I dread the 2 ½ more years of this presidency. I am worried for our country. I am worried for my children – but especially my gay son. I am usually a pretty upbeat person, but I am finding it harder and harder to find something about which to feel optimistic. I hope I am wrong about what my gut is telling me. I hope it is just a bad case of the blues and not harsh reality slapping me in the face…