The biggest tragedy of the closet

My heart just breaks for Ted Haggard’s wife and children. They are the innocent victims of his tortured decision to live an unsustainable lie. I cannot think of a crueler and more painful way to destroy an entire family than the way Ted ultimately destroyed his own family. Oh sure, they may soldier on and even manage to hold it together, but the damage is done, the secret is out, and the genie can never be stuffed back into the bottle.

After watching this very public tragedy unfold, how on God’s green earth can people like James Dobson possibly continue to argue that gay marriage is the biggest threat to the family and the sanctity of marriage? Please, someone explain it to me because for the life of me, I just do not see it. I have been to countless PFLAG meetings and by far, some of the saddest stories are coming from the kids and spouses whose whole worlds have completely and instantly imploded because of a mother, a father, or a spouse who could no longer live the lie that James Dobson wants them to live. It truly is a devastating experience for the entire family. And most families do not survive it intact.

If ever there was a case for why gay marriage should be legal, Ted Haggard just handed it to us on a platter. I can think of no better way to insure the stability and health of the family and the sanctity of marriage than to allow gays and lesbians to enter into committed recognized unions with the same rights and protections that heterosexuals enjoy. By denying them the rights to marriage, we guarantee more horrific stories similar to the Haggard family tragedy.

How many more horror stories like that of Ted Haggard do we have to witness before we realize that the James Dobsons and Jerry Falwells are completely wrong on this issue? They speak from profound ignorance, fear, and hate. Ted Haggard should make us all realize that if he cannot live the lie, no one can. And we must stop forcing people who may be different than us to conform to our standards of normal, it doesn’t work, it isn’t right, and it has the potential to hurt so many innocents.

Sadly the Haggard family’s pain and agony has been put under the microscope of world scrutiny, but make no mistake, they are not the first victims of the evils of the closet, and if the James Dobsons of the world have their way, they will not be the last.