Gingrich Rises and so does the bile in my gut.

{Groan} I read this and now I have a stomach ache:

Newt Gingrich "emerges as top conservative prospect for Republican 2008 field."

I can see it now. Newt, the good Conservative Christian Soldier will ride in with pomp and circumstance and announce to the weary masses that he is back. He’ll state his mission: to rescue his flailing party from disgrace and exile and return it to its rightful place as the Grand Old Party and more importantly God’s Only Party. He’ll beat the same tired old drums his sorry fallen comrades did back in 2004. Oh I can hear it now: “I’m gonna save everyone’s marriage from all those gays lurking in the shadows”, “I’ll be the guardian of our nation’s collective morals”, and “And I’ll protect the American family from the evils of uhhhh -------all things g-a-y.” And then he’ll do one of his all-knowing winks to ol Doc Dobson, who will be lurking in the shadows offstage. And once again we will watch this Party and this man try to convince Americans how they have the patent on Family Values, Morals, and Sanctity of Marriage. {Groan} Will Americans go for it again? Oh God I hope not.

What gives me the stomach ache is imagining Newt Gingrich, of all people, uttering anything about marriage, morals, or family. I just don’t think I can stomach it. HE is the last guy who should be talking about any of those things. My God, if America really wanted to protect sanctity of marriage, family values, and morals, they’d ban people like HIM from ever marrying again. He is the friggin poster boy for everything that’s wrong with marriage and values today. And this mother of 3 and wife of 25 years just cannot bear the thought of having to listen to this man of multiple affairs and divorces flinging empty words about saving me, my marriage, or my family. I think I’d go off the deep end.

I am so weary of these pompous asses treating Americans like stupid morons with no memories beyond yesterday. Could Newt be stupid enough to run on this kind of platform again? Does he realize that he’d be opening himself up to articles like this:

T]he most notorious [adulterer] of them all is undoubtedly Gingrich, who ran for Congress in 1978 on the slogan, "Let Our Family Represent Your Family." (He was reportedly cheating on his first wife at the time). In 1995, an alleged mistress from that period, Anne Manning, told Vanity Fair's Gail Sheehy: "We had oral sex. He prefers that modus operandi because then he can say, 'I never slept with her.'" Gingrich obtained his first divorce in 1981, after forcing his wife, who had helped put him through graduate school, to haggle over the terms while in the hospital, as she recovered from uterine cancer surgery. In 1999, he was disgraced again, having been caught in an affair with a 33-year-old congressional aide while spearheading the impeachment proceedings against President Clinton.

It is hard to imagine that he’d really even want to put himself in the limelight, let alone run for President, but with this crowd, anything is possible. Now if he was taking advice from this Seething Mom, I’d tell him he might want to reconsider his 2008 plans. Americans are in a surly mood. And I don’t think it’s going to get much better by 2008. And I don’t see Americans falling quite as quickly for the Moral Values, Family Values, Sanctity of Marriage dung they flung at us in 2004.