Happy New Year!

And may there be a lot less to seethe over in 2007.

Sir Isaac Newton's revenge

An interesting article in the New York Times reinforces what I’ve long suspected would happen, the religious right and this current Republican administration have become the “gift that keeps on giving” for the GLBT community and the gay rights movement. The more these people open their mouths and push draconian legislation designed to deny equal rights to gays and lesbians, the more energized and powerful the push-back becomes.

This article focuses on a most unlikely place to see such a dynamic playing out: Kansas. But sure enough the push-back is happening there as well and in a big way ----- and it’s showing up in the census data as proof:

… a 68 percent jump in Kansas households headed by same-sex partners between 2000 and 2005. In 2005, 11 out of every 1,000 couples living together in Kansas reported themselves as same-sex, according to Mr. Gates’s review of the Census Bureau’s annual American Community Survey data, a figure closer than one might expect to those recorded in New Jersey and New York, where 12 and 14 out of every 1,000 couples, respectively, are same-sex.

Kansas! Who would have thought? People who never dreamed they’d one day be out of the closet are now coming out to their friends, family, and neighbors --- in record numbers. And by doing so they are using the best weapon in the fight for gay rights: visibility. Good for them!

What the increase suggests, Mr. Gates said, is not so much that gay Americans are flocking to the state, but that the ones who live there have been galvanized to declare themselves to their neighbors and communities.

***

The spirited mood here evolved, leaders say, in particular reaction to the disparaging views expressed by several well-known clerics during the campaign over the amendment, and since. Two of them, the Rev. Joe Wright of Central Christian Church and the Rev. Terry Fox of Immanuel Baptist Church, both in Wichita, led the move to introduce a ballot in the state legislature that gave rise to the popular referendum.

At the same time, the vitriol of the Rev. Fred Phelps, of the 80-member Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, Kan., has grown more extreme in the past two years, as he has begun to protest the funerals of soldiers killed in Iraq on the grounds that they support an army, and a nation, that tolerates homosexuality.

“Every time Fred opens his mouth, it’s good for us,” said Stacey Haynes, an account manager for a technology company who lives in Lenexa with her partner and their adopted daughter. “He’s creating bonds between people.”

It is such an amazing act of courage to come out of the closet. But what makes this article even more of an eye opener is the number of people, “well into midlife and ensconced in long-term relationships”, who decided to come out, apparently “in reaction to what many see as the anti-gay climate that led to the marriage ban [in Kansas].” These are people who are already established in their careers and quite comfortable with their quiet lives in one of the most conservative states in the union. To make such a dramatic and potentially life-changing decision at this point in their lives is both commendable and brave.

My husband and I are not gay, but when we found out we had a gay son our first reaction was to retreat into the very closet our son had just exited. We got a brief taste of the claustrophobia of the closet and irrational fear of detection and it was awful. Though I would guess our initial behavior is not all that unusual for parents in our shoes, we are not proud to admit to it even today. But we also got a very real sense of the balancing act around which our son’s life revolved while he grappled with the reality of his sexual orientation. And more importantly we realized just how much he lost while trying to live his life in the shadows of other people’s expectations.

When we found out about our son, George W. Bush was in full swing campaigning for re-election. A federal gay marriage ban was his tool of choice for whipping his base into a blind frenzy. The anti-gay climate he created was palpable and for us, terrifying. Every emotion we had was heightened by the poisonous homophobia that became so pervasive during that shameful campaign.

Initially it strengthened our resolve to close ourselves off from everyone and everything. We told no one, not even family members we knew would have no problem with our son’s sexual orientation or close friends who themselves had gay children. We avoided everyone for fear of potential cracks in our “everything’s normal” facade. But a funny thing happened while living in hermit-ville ---- we got really pissed. The more people used our precious son for political or religious gain, the more furious my husband and I became. How dare they use our son - those bastards! Slowly our need to come out and squash these creeps like grapes overpowered our need to remain in seclusion. And we knew our best weapon was visibility. We had to put the face of our family and our son on their boogie man.

And so it is with the delicious taste of revenge in my mouth that I point out the ultimate irony, George W. Bush used homophobia to eek into office, but in doing so he unleashed a force that will one day lead to the very thing he used to scare the ignorant: full equality for gays and lesbians. I guess he missed the day his physics teacher taught Newton's Laws of Motion because if he hadn’t, he might have learned that for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Hat tip to PageOneQ

Buying For Equality

I told my husband this morning that I’d like to add Radio Shack to our list of errands we’ll run this week. He asked me why and I mentioned that the inexpensive earphones I use with my MP3 player have finally worn out and I saw a pair I really liked at Radio Shack. And then my husband, who’d sooner go before a firing squad than shop, said, “Well we can’t go to Radio Shack, we need to go to Best Buy.”. This little exchange kind of irritated me. Why in the heck would he care where I buy a pair of earphones? He should be glad I know exactly what I want and will therefore be less inclined to “linger” in the store. So of course curiosity got the best of me and I asked him why Best Buy and not Radio Shack? His response pleasantly surprised me: “because Best Buy gets a 100% in the HRC’s Buying For Equality guide and Radio Shack only gets a 29 out of a 100.

My husband, man of few words, letting his money do the talking for him. And of course, I scratched Radio Shack off my “to-do” list and replaced it with Best Buy.

I know it's terrible...

But I am so darned relieved that Christmas is over. I stress about all the wrong things and then that realization stresses me even more.

Oh happy day they’re all home!

And I couldn’t be more exhausted.

Ugh. I forgot how totally out of sync with the real world kids get when they go away to school. I don’t know how my poor mom did it with 5 kids, but I’m not doing so well with my own 3 (and only 2 of them are college kids). Their crazy upside-down hours have my husband and I walking around like zombies. They’re up til 2 or 3 in the morning and then they’re wanting to sleep til 2 or 3 in the afternoon. And then I have to go and exacerbate my own agony by waiting up every night until every last kid is home safe and sound. Now my sane-self knows they’re keeping those god-forsaken hours at school where I have no clue when they drag into their dorm rooms, but when they are home my mother-hen self kicks into high gear and I just cannot go to sleep as long as I know any of them are still out. What’s up with that? (A little out of sight, out of mind maybe?)

Both our boys brought home friends from school this year. Add to the crowd their buddies from high school and of course my daughter and all her high school friends and what we’ve got here in our tiny little rental is a barely controlled chaos and sleeping bags everywhere.

Don’t get me wrong, we are absolutely thrilled to have our boys home again, we’ve certainly missed them, but I’m a little shocked at how well we must have adjusted to them being away at school. And in just a few short months, our daughter will be getting ready to leave for college and we will have to adjust to her being gone… and then coming home again. {yawn}

Off to bed… g’night.

Oh and Happy Holidays!

Ahhhhh the truth is so refreshing…

A few fun quotables from some fun quotable people:

From Balloon Juice’s No Shit Department:

Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney is poised to announce his campaign for the 2008 Republican presidential nomination in two phases early next month, a top adviser told The Associated Press on Friday.

To which John Cole so appropriately responds:

This is but a technicality. Mitt Romney declared he was running for President months ago when he began to sound like another bigoted, knuckle-dragging, fire-breathing, religious right troglodyte. Nothing to see here, really.

And from Pam’s House Blend:

Squirm, GOPpers, squirm! That's the problem with Conservatives Regressives: They set up a beautiful, perfect artificial imaginary reality, but then facts and reality keep intruding.

This is why we can't talk about Mary's baby, but also why we can't see photos of coffins landing at Dover, or focus on a child without health care, or a homeless man with no job opportunities, or a two-income family losing their home to foreclosure. Nasty reality forces Regressives to face the consequences of their policies.

Gays are easier to hate, wars are easier to fight, and trickle-up economics is easier to support when you can't see a human face on it.

"If people let government decide which foods they eat and medicines they take, their bodies will soon be in as sorry a state as are the souls of those who live under tyranny." -- Thomas Jefferson

The fog has lifted. I can see clearly now. And I’m ashamed.

Yup, that cozy warm comforter under which I lived my entire life was ripped away almost 4 years ago when I found out I had a gay son. And what I realized about myself when this happened wasn’t pretty. I’d been living my life in a sheltered cocoon and when that cocoon was penetrated by one of life’s funny little wake-up calls, I was forced to do some painful soul-searching and introspection that just about killed me. I’ve been hard on myself, some have said too hard, but it was oh so necessary and long overdue. I was forced to ask myself some very tough questions, knowing full-well that I wasn’t going to like the answers. And I didn’t.

WHAT on God’s green earth was I doing for 98.9% of my life? WHY did it take learning I had a gay son to finally see things the way they really are and not the way some self-annointed political experts and religious leaders wanted me to see them? And HOW MANY more lazy walking-talking zombies (like me) are there out there? I shutter to think.

Four years ago I thought I had 3 “normal” kids. But after finding out one of my children was gay I realized that we as a society have allowed our definition of “normal” to be defined by “other people’s” opinions, life experiences, religious beliefs, and prejudices. And according to “those people’s” very narrow definitions I realized I now had an “abomination” living under my roof. But the real kicker was that when all was hunky dory within my little cocoon, “those people’s” beliefs were not my dilemma – I just ignored them, but when I learned I had a gay son, everything that affected the gay community suddenly became my dilemma and “those people’s” beliefs suddenly had a very hard to ignore impact. How awful is that? I didn’t start caring until it was my family affected.

I never objected to those so-called experts and religious people, not because I agreed with everything they said, but because it was just too easy to go with the flow and ignore them. When something they said didn’t pass my gut check test, I just let it go, why not, it didn’t affect me or my family? Deep down I knew my gut instincts were a far better moral compass than theirs, but I had nothing to gain by speaking up, so why would I, it didn’t affect me or my family? I was content to let those moral frauds, people I didn’t even know, tell everyone they had all the answers, again why would I have challenged them, none of it affected me or my family? I was just too engrossed in my life to ask any questions, do any gut checks, or rock the boat. I was lazy and I was apathetic because I just didn’t think any of it affected me or my family. How horribly wrong I was.

So why this confession now? Because most people will never experience an event that literally throws every belief they had into question, like I did. And not everyone who does experience a life-changing event will use that opportunity to re-examine their lives and put their entire belief system under a microscope, like I did. And I learned a hard lesson. I was wrong to ignore things that I did not think affected me or my family. That attitude is dangerous and it gives dangerous people a free pass.

When I blogged the other day about a new report on the nearly 8,400 LGBT youth expected to be homeless this winter in NYC, I was very angry and I admitted my knee-jerk reaction was to blame the Dobson crowd. And I still blame the Dobson crowd and all of those hypocritical, self-righteous politicians who have used the LGBT community for political gain. But reading about the horrendously high rate of homeless LGBT children in NYC has made me realize that once again I am not being completely honest with myself. There is plenty of blame to go around and none of us are immune from it. I’m guilty for not worrying about any of the problems associated with the gay and lesbian community until I learned that I had a son who was part of that community. But the bottom line is this: as long as there is any child living in the streets, gay or straight, we are all guilty. This problem belongs to us all. This problem affects us all.

It is time to start asking some very tough questions. It is time to start rocking the boat. It is time to question why we as a society have allowed people like James Dobson, Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson to control so much of the debate on society’s moral issues. When prominent voices like theirs are out there demonizing any segment of our society unchallenged, we all lose. It is a terribly sad day when we have parents throwing their children out like trash because they’ve never questioned the James Dobson requirements for normal. When society becomes so intellectually lazy that we let others define everything we believe in, then we deserve the shame that comes with families disowning their own children because they are gay.

I’ve been through hell these past few years --- not because I found out I had a gay son, but because my apathy about things I didn’t think affected me came back to haunt me in a big way. We’ve sat by and let people like James Dobson and his ilk define morality and demonize anyone they do not consider normal. And now we are getting to see the fruits of their truly immoral rantings: homeless, unwanted children – lots of them. I can think of nothing more immoral than that.

Beating up gays and their allies: a pastime enjoyed across the country

Worcester, Massachusetts:

A same-sex marriage advocate [who happens to be straight] is nursing cuts and bruises after being attacked by a leading advocate of a constitutional amendment to end gay marriage in the only state where it is legal.

***

Sarah Loy, 27, went to a rally organized by VoteOnMarriage in front of Worcester City Hall, west of Boston, on the weekend. The demonstration was one of several being held on weekends throughout Massachusetts aimed at pressuring the Legislature to vote on the proposed amendment.

At a lectern Larry Cirignano, leader of the Boston-based Catholic Citizenship group [emphasis mine] had just finished leading the Pledge of Allegiance when he spotted Loy near the front of the crowd with other supporters of gay marriage staging a counter protest.

***

The Worcester Telegram & Gazette reports that Cirignano rushed from behind the lectern and tackled Loy to the ground. “You need to get out. You need to get out of here right now,” he allegedly told her as her head was pushed into the concrete sidewalk.

Meanwhile across the country in Scottsdale, Arizona otherwise know as the Wild West:

Scottsdale police are investigating a suspected hate crime reported by a gay couple who said they were jumped by as many as seven men outside a Scottsdale restaurant near McDowell and Scottsdale roads.

As they held hands and began to leave Frasher's Steakhouse late Sunday, Jean Rolland and Andrew Frost said they were beaten in the restaurant's entryway.

I just cannot help wondering why some people are so threatened by gays and lesbians. It strikes me that it is always the guilty dog that barks the loudest. Most people I know who’ve never been divorced and have enjoyed many happy years of stable marriage scoff at the notion that gay marriage threatens their marriage. And every straight supporter of gay rights I’ve ever known is also quite comfortable in their own skin and very confident in his/her own sexual orientation.

The thugs in Worcester and Scottsdale only proved they were cowardly bullies who’ve got some deep seated issues. If one finds gay marriage to be a threat to their marriage then they have bigger problems than they are willing to admit. And if those punks in Scottsdale think they succeeded in proving their manliness by beating up two people minding their own business then they need to think again, all they really did was make people wonder why they felt they needed to prove anything in the first place.

Why defense of gays matters

From yet another awesome article by Leonard Pitts Jr. a couple of days ago:

I just find myself intrigued by the idea that if you're not gay, you shouldn't care about gay rights.

***

I know also that some folks are touchy about anything seeming to equate the black civil rights movement with the gay one. And no, gay people were not kidnapped from Gay Land and sold into slavery, nor lynched by the thousands. On the other hand, they do know something about housing discrimination, they do know job discrimination, they do know murder for the sin of existence, they do know the denial of civil rights and they do know what it is like to be used as scapegoat and bogeyman by demagogues and political opportunists.

And then Leonard Pitts, a black man, goes on to make the point that I believe is lost on so many people today:

It seems to me if I abhor intolerance, discrimination and hatred when they affect people who look like me, I must also abhor them when they affect people who do not. For that matter, I must abhor them even when they benefit me. Otherwise, what I claim as moral authority is really just self-interest in disguise.

Among the things we seem to have lost in the years … is the ability, the imagination, the willingness to put ourselves into the skin of those who are not like us. I find it telling that Vice President Dick Cheney hews to the hard conservative line on virtually every social issue, except gay marriage. It is, of course, no coincidence that Cheney has a daughter who is a lesbian. Which tells me his position is based not on principle but, rather, on loving his daughter.

It is a fine thing to love your daughter. I would argue, however, that it is also a fine thing and in some ways, a finer thing, to love your neighbor's daughter, no matter her sexual orientation, religion, race, creed or economic status -- and to want her freedom as eagerly as you want your own.

I believe in moral coherence. And Rule No. 1 is, you cannot assert your own humanity, then turn right around and deny someone else's.

Sadly, loving the neighbor’s daughter or son, no matter their sexual orientation, religion, race, creed or economic status would spell financial and political ruin for today’s politicians and hate-preaching religious leaders. I don’t anticipate we will see any moral coherence from that crowd any time soon --- there’s just no personal, political, or financial benefit in doing so --- disguising self-interest as moral authority has been a boon for them.

Study: Thousands of homeless NYC youth are LGBT

When I read this article this morning, I got livid:

A new report shows that nearly 8,400 LGBT youth may be homeless this winter, according to statistics cited in the study by the National Runaway Switchboard and released by the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force.

***

The report cited three key findings. The first was that youth homeless is primarily caused by family conflict, often over sexual orientation or gender identity. The second was a report of harassment, discrimination and violence by employees at shelters. The final key finding was that homeless LGBT youth are more vulnerable to sexual abuse, substance abuse and mental health struggles.

And of course my knee-jerk reaction is to blame the James Dobson crowd and organized religion for this. And yes, I know it is coming from my gut and not hard statistics, but I just don’t think it takes a rocket scientist to figure out that if a person preaches long and hard enough that “gay = evil” you are going to have people who buy it and some of those people are going to be the parents of gay children. So as far as I am concerned, James Dobson, Jerry Falwell, the Pope, and all of the rest of these so-called religious people can pat themselves on the back for this tragedy. They created it. They own it. And some day I hope they answer to a Higher Power for it.

And any parent that could reject their child because of his/her sexual orientation probably should never have been a parent in the first place. The idea that someone could literally throw out their own child is just incomprehensible to me. I know the thought of rejecting my own son for being gay never entered my mind, but rejecting the religion that demonized him was a no-brainer. It didn’t take me long to realize that I would never be able to reconcile what the Catholic Church was teaching about homosexuality with the unconditional love I had for my gay son. I didn’t struggle too long with it before realizing that it was the religion preaching hate and not my son that needed throwing out. I just cannot fathom how any parent could decide otherwise.

For my husband and me, unconditional love is just that, unconditional love. Much like the love Jesus had for those that the society of His time chose to reject.

How could you James Dobson?

MY GOD James Dobson, is your hatred for gays and lesbians so intense and so all-consuming that even your so-called Christian Values are disposable when you see a chance to go for the jugular of people you hate? Did TIME magazine hand you an opportunity that you just could not pass up, no matter the cost?

The lies! The bald-faced lies! I just cannot believe it. You maligned and smeared so many innocent families and used the research of good and honest people to do it! How could you? How the hell do you sleep at night? How the hell do you live with yourself? How do you reconcile your Christianity with your sinful behavior?

Really, are you that desperate to hurt and damage gays and lesbians that you would sacrifice everything you tell people you represent to achieve your goals? It is of course a rhetorical question since you pretty much answered it when you wrote and submitted that total piece of garbage article titled “Two Mommies Is One Too Many” to TIME magazine.

Your piece in TIME magazine is so full of distortions and outright lies and I knew it the minute I read it, but I figured you’d simply found some hate-filled, homophobic, pseudo-researchers like Dr. Paul Cameron who were willing to supply you with whatever statistics you needed to back up the lies you’d included in the TIME magazine article. But now I find out that you actually stole the work of honest researchers and distorted their findings to meet your own horrible goals.

Doesn’t it bother you that Dr. Kyle Pruett, M.D wrote you a letter accusing you of distorting his work and stating in part:

You cherry-picked a phrase to shore up highly (in my view) discriminatory purposes. This practice is condemned in real science, common though it may be in pseudo-science circles. There is nothing in my longitudinal research or any of my writings to support such conclusions. On page 134 of the book you cite in your piece, I wrote, “What we do know is that there is no reason for concern about the development or psychological competence of children living with gay fathers. It is love that binds relationships, not sex.”

Or that New York University educational psychologist Carol Gilligan, PhD wrote you a letter also slamming you for stealing and distorting her work and stating in part:

I am writing to ask that you cease and desist from quoting my research in the future. I was mortified to learn that you had distorted my work this week in a guest column you wrote in Time Magazine. Not only did you take my research out of context, you did so without my knowledge to support discriminatory goals that I do not agree with. What you wrote was not truthful and I ask that you refrain from ever quoting me again and that you apologize for twisting my work.

James Dobson you are one sad pathetic human being. Anyone that would go to the extremes that you have gone to smear a whole segment of our society has got to have some deeply rooted problems. You need help. You need God’s forgiveness. You need to come clean on why you really hate gays.

And shame on you, TIME magazine for taking this fraud’s article and publishing it without even checking the accuracy first. I know I won’t be so quick to trust your publication again.

You can read about the two scientists whose work James Dobson stole and distorted here and here.

And of course, hat tip to John at AMERICAblog for always staying on top of these frauds and calling them on their outright dishonesty.

So.

"So." - response we receive most often when we tell friends about our gay son. And this is why we consider our friends our greatest gift! It just shouldn't be an issue and with our friends it is not.

We are so blessed to have such wonderful friends.

Homocitrus Agenda

After the "soy makes you gay" post, I figured what the heck, let's just dedicate the rest of today to these over-the-top homophobes. And the guy in this clip ranks right up there with the "soy makes you gay" guy. There’s no shortage of these guys, is there?

Those silly gays!

Trying to ruin marriage!

Oh for heaven’s sake! It was me who made my son gay! Damn that soy!

Well what a relief. Our son’s homosexuality isn’t my husband’s fault like ole Doc Dobson had us believing:

[My husband needed to ] “mirror and affirm [our] son's maleness. … [by playing] rough-and-tumble games with [our] son, in ways that are decidedly different from the games he would play with [our daughter]. He [needed to] help [our] son learn to throw and catch a ball and teach him to pound a square wooden peg into a square hole in a pegboard. He [also needed to] take [our] son with him into the shower, where [our son could not have helped] but notice that [his] Dad has a penis, just like his, only bigger."

So all this time we thought it was my husband who had failed his “daddy” job miserably because he had not followed Snake Oil Dobson’s guidelines strictly enough and as a result he made our son gay.

Well, good news for my husband!!! He need not carry the burden of blame on his shoulders anymore. It’s not his fault after all! It’s mine, so shift that burden on over to me dear. I must have fed my son soy somewhere along the way and made him gay:

Soy is feminizing, and commonly leads to a decrease in the size of the penis, sexual confusion and homosexuality. That's why most of the medical (not socio-spiritual) blame for today's rise in homosexuality must fall upon the rise in soy formula and other soy products. (Most babies are bottle-fed during some part of their infancy, and one-fourth of them are getting soy milk!) Homosexuals often argue that their homosexuality is inborn because "I can't remember a time when I wasn't homosexual." No, homosexuality is always deviant. But now many of them can truthfully say that they can't remember a time when excess estrogen wasn't influencing them.

This is according to James Rutz, author of the article, A devil food is turning our kids into homosexuals. The only problem is I don’t ever remember giving my son any soy. He must of snuck some between breast feedings – that stinker. But praise be to God, it didn’t seem to affect his penis size at all.

What nut cases, the whole lot of them! Dobson on down. It's hard to understand how anyone could believe any of the sh*t that comes out of these quacks' mouths.

James Dobson weighs in on Mary Cheney and Heather Poe’s growing family

The article’s bottom line (according to Dobson): “The best environment for the health and development of children, and, by extension, the nation at large”, is a family led by one penis and one vagina, joined together in a Christian ceremony called marriage.

And then Dobson backs it all up with a bunch of psycho-babble:

A father, as a male parent, makes unique contributions to the task of parenting that a mother cannot emulate, and vice versa.

***

… mothers tend to stress sympathy, grace and care to their children, while fathers accent justice, fairness and duty. Moms give a child a sense of hopefulness; dads provide a sense of right and wrong and its consequences. Other researchers have determined that boys are not born with an understanding of "maleness." They have to learn it, ideally from their fathers.

Ok, I was able to manage my gag reflex pretty well with that, but I lost it when Dobson, as Andrew says, started translating divine law into civil law:

… our conviction is that birth and adoption are the purview of married heterosexual couples. Traditional marriage is God's design for the family and is rooted in biblical truth. When that divine plan is implemented, children have the best opportunity to thrive. That's why public policy as it relates to families must be based not solely on the desires of adults but rather on the needs of children and what is best for society at large.

I honestly have to wonder what planet Dobson is on. He knows the perfect little world he describes just does not exist for everyone. There are many families that by all outside appearances seem to fit his “ideal family” template, but behind closed doors are anything but perfect. The family in which I grew up was a good example. We were the family that everyone oooooh’d and awwwww’d over at church, dressed in our Sunday best and for the most part behaving like perfect angels. My father appeared to be the perfect daddy (he at least had a penis), and my mother was the perfect mommy (thank God), and my 4 beautiful little brothers and I appeared to be the perfect children. But circumstances beyond anyone’s control took over and our “perfect” little family basically imploded. Daddy had a major breakdown, mommy for all intents and purposes became both mommy and daddy, and we children adjusted accordingly and grew up to be well-adjusted, confident, contributing adults. And what got us through it all was NOT the fact that we had a penis and a vagina as head of household (because we didn’t), but that we had an incredibly strong and loving mother. It was the unconditional love that got us through it all, not this “sh*t” Dobson is spewing.

James Dobson is basically having a panic attack. His worst nightmare is coming to fruition: a very prominent and visible lesbian is having a baby with her partner, and the whole world is watching, and what the world will see is every one of James Dobson’s bullsh*t theories proven wrong. James Dobson knows damn well that families come in all shapes and sizes, and most will never meet his specs for “ideal”. This is not a perfect world. Sh*t happens, I know because I learned it at a very young age myself. Sure it would have been great if my dad could have been there for us as a functioning and loving dad, but life doesn’t always work out the way we think it should. And sure children do well with a loving mommy and a loving daddy. But Dobson is lying through his teeth when he says that society will go to hell in a handbasket if children don’t have a mommy and a daddy. The real bottom line is that children do best when they have plenty of unconditional love from a parent or parents who are there for them. The genitalia of that parent or parents are just not the issue, no matter how much James Dobson wants it to be.

James Dobson is losing this battle and he knows it. In another 10 to 15 years the choir to whom he is preaching is gonna start dying out and this up and coming generation is much more enlightened. To them James Dobson comes off as a shill little old man running around screaming about the sky falling. I took my daughter out to dinner tonight so that we could talk about the Christmas dance she went to this past weekend (now mind you she goes to a Catholic school) and in casual conversation she mentioned that her best friend's date had 2 mommies. She said it so casually that I actually had to stop her mid-sentence and ask her if I heard her correctly, she said I had, and continued on with the point of her story, which had nothing to do with the 2 mommies, but everything to do with what a great guy he was.

Yep, Mary Cheney and Heather Poe are going to be James Dobson’s worst nightmare.

“Come fantastico!” - Italy paves way for gay unions

Wow, Italy, a pretty conservative country socially, is moving forward with plans to recognize gay unions. I guess they’ve finally realized the error of their ways (unlike another country we know – “sigh”):

Prime Minister Romano Prodi has agreed to a January 31 deadline set by the Senate to draft such legislation, he said in a statement late Thursday, saying it would "represent a fundamental step forward" as his Union coalition honours its electoral pledges.

Granting legal status to gay couples has been a subject of dispute not only between right and left in Italy but also within Prodi’s Union coalition, which includes communists, Greens and radicals who favour such a law, while centrist and Catholic groups are reticent.

***

The Senate asked the government to draft a bill to "recognise the rights, including regarding taxes, of persons in de facto couples" without discrimination in terms of the sex or sexual orientation of the persons concerned.

The Union coalition promised in its manifesto ahead of elections in April to legally recognise common law partnerships, stressing that "their sexual orientation will not be an obstacle."

So Dick Cheney, how does it feel knowing your administration has spent unbelievable amounts of time and energy moving this country in the opposite direction when it comes to the fair treatment of your lesbian daughter and my gay son? How does it feel knowing countries like South Africa and Italy have realized that their gay and lesbian citizens deserve to be treated equally and with dignity and are moving forward with legislation to correct the injustices? How does it feel knowing that you have essentially guaranteed not only your daughter and her partner second-class citizenship, but also your precious sixth grandchild? How does it feel knowing that your daughter and her partner will have to jump through all kinds of legal hoops that may or may not give them the legal protections that people like Brittney Spears gets simply by saying “I do” on a drunken whim in a drive-thru wedding chapel in Las Vegas? How does it feel knowing that Brittney Spears threw away those precious rights that your daughter will never enjoy less than 48 hours later when she decided she had made a mistake and got the marriage annulled? Does any of this bother you? Because I can guarantee you that there are many truly loving parents that would never have sacrificed their children for power the way you sacrificed yours (and ours right along with yours).

God, I hope you can live with yourself because just the mere thought of you makes my stomach churn and the bile climb up into my throat. I pray you spend the rest of your life enduring sleepless nights with oodles of time to think of all the things you have done and all the people you have trampled (including your daughter and my son) in your greedy, gluttonous, unquenchable quest for power. May God forgive you, because I sure won’t!

Oh and Dick, one more thing, how does it feel watching those batsh*t crazy “religious” wingnuts that you empowered go apocalyptic over your daughter’s decision to get pregnant? Does it make you want to smack them? Do you feel like this is a private family matter and they should stay the f*ck out of your business? Are they raining on your family’s joyous occasion? If the answer to these questions is yes --------- then I say GOOD. Now you know how my family and the families of gays and lesbians all over this country feel. And it couldn’t happen to a more deserving guy!

And the Cheney clan grows

Dick and Lynne Cheney are going to be grandparents again for the 6^th time. Wow, you say, that will make 6 children for their older daughter Elizabeth and her husband. But wait, you’d be wrong if you say that. It’s NOT Elizabeth who is pregnant! It’s Mary and her partner, Heather, who are the proud parents-to-be:

Mary Cheney, the vice president's openly gay daughter, is pregnant. She and her partner of 15 years, Heather Poe, are "ecstatic" about the baby, due in late spring, said a source close to the couple.

It's a baby boom for grandparents Dick and Lynne Cheney: Their older daughter, Elizabeth, went on leave as deputy assistant secretary of state before having her fifth child in July. "The vice president and Mrs. Cheney are looking forward with eager anticipation to the arrival of their sixth grandchild," spokesman Lea Anne McBride said last night.

Well I’m very happy for the couple, but something tells me I will be in the minority. Any guesses on how long it will take before the Whacko Dobson Crowd weighs in on this news? It should be fun watching them go apocalyptic.

Hat tip to Pam who also has the expected Freeperland meltdown and as usual they do not disappoint. Check it out.

Saying Good Bye

Please forgive the lack of posts these past few days. I haven’t felt much like blogging lately. We’ve been quite busy preparing for the holidays and the onslaught of company we will have over Christmas and New Years. Then this past weekend we got a phone call from my husband’s cousin letting us know that her mother, my husband’s beloved aunt, had to be admitted to the hospital. His cousin thought she had the flu and simply needed fluids, but sadly, it was a much worse scenario. Today we got a very emotional phone call from her letting us know that Aunt D is dying.

My husband is preparing to fly out tomorrow or the next day. We’ve called all of the kids and told them the sad news. They’re very upset. Suddenly the holidays feel more like an intrusion. The Christmas carols feel vastly inappropriate. And excited anticipation has turned to dread. The feeling of helplessness is terrible.

Aunt D is an incredible lady. She was my husband’s second mother. Aunt D lived next door and provided the discipline that my husband’s mom didn’t seem to have the heart to dole out when needed. She was the one that climbed up on the roof and pulled him out of the black tar in which he’d gotten himself hopelessly stuck. She was the one that taught him how to drive. She was the one who picked him up off the ground and brushed him off when he got a little too rough in his game of “touch” football. And she will always have an extremely special place in his heart.

I don’t want to say good bye to her. I’m not ready. I haven’t yet thanked her for helping to raise the mischievous little boy that would eventually become my wonderful husband and my children’s incredible dad. And today I learned I will never get that chance.

Oh how my heart aches.

Think Equal

Ok, this is really cool:

A group of New Jersey bloggers is out to alter the perception people have about same-sex marriage rights by launching the first commercial of their "Think Equal" campaign today.

The series of four 30-second spots produced by BlueJersey.com, a progressive Democratic Web site, has a look that is no doubt familiar to Apple Computer devotees.

And according to John it was launched by straight allies, bloggers who put up their own money to produce the spots.

Bless them!

Hat tip to AMERICAblog

When can we stop calling these horrible people Christians?

When I read the sobering facts about AIDS in South Africa I just wanted to cry. Not only has AIDS ravaged this country, but according to this AP article the situation has gotten even more dire in the last decade and a half:

An estimated 950 people died per day during 2006 from AIDS-related diseases and a further 1,400 were infected each day _ a total of 530,000 new infections, said the report by the Actuarial Society of South Africa and the Medical Research Council.

***

The report said life expectancy dropped from 63 in 1990 to 51 in 2006. In the hardest hit province of KwaZulu-Natal, it was as low as 43.

``The Demographic Impact of HIV/AIDS in South Africa: National and Provincial Indicators for 2006'' said that 15-year-olds had a 56 per cent chance of dying before the age of 60, compared to a 29 per cent chance of dying in 1990.

``The youth of today are facing a bleak future, and much still needs to be done to protect and support this vulnerable group,'' said Leigh Johnson, one of the authors of the report.

And as if I wasn’t depressed enough after reading this article, I had to go and add insult to injury by reading this piece by The Carpetbagger Report, which was inspired by an article in the Boston Globe titled Faith groups urge cuts to AIDS fund:

Some leading Christian conservatives, angry over the Global Fund to Fight AIDS’s promotion of condoms and its perceived lack of support for faith-based programs, are pushing Congress to cut US support for the AIDS initiative, which was initiated by President Bush in a Rose Garden ceremony five years ago with a $200 million commitment.

The fund — whose full name is the Global Fund to Fight AIDS, Tuberculosis, and Malaria — has become one of the pillars of the international effort to fight infectious diseases, growing into a $6.6 billion organization that supports programs in 136 countries.

And what pray-tell could be bothering these “good” Christian conservatives?

Some take issue with the Global Fund’s policies, which include buying clean needles for drug users, and many are furious that just 6 percent of its program dollars goes to faith-based groups.

***

… [Peter L. Brandt, senior director of government and public policy at Focus on the Family] said he wants the government to eliminate all spending on the Global Fund’s HIV programs because it is not providing sufficient money to faith groups and has given little support to abstinence messages. Brandt said the government could continue to support the fund’s tuberculosis and malaria programs.

Some other Christian activists, such as Raymond Ruddy , president of the Gerard Health Foundation in South Natick, which gives about $2 million annually to anti abortion and abstinence programs worldwide, want all US money cut from the fund.

“I see a direct correlation of dollars given to the Global Fund and dollars taken away from” the Bush administration’s AIDS efforts, Ruddy said. “The Global Fund is systematically excluding faith-based groups from getting money, and that’s not right.”

So these charlatans are angry because they are not getting enough money to waste on spreading abstinence messages so their answer is to hold their breath, throw a tantrum, and demand an end to all US funding of the program until they get their way. And while these putrid people display their most un-Christ-like behavior, millions are getting infected and dying. God these people disgust me.

Can someone please explain to me why these people deserve to be called Christians?