Oh how I love John Aravosis, let me count the ways…

I was all ready to go into a seething rant over Rudy-the-adulterer’s latest attempt to reshape himself into the guardian of all marriages when John over at AMERICAblog saved me from myself. So why work myself into a tizzy when John has done a stand-up job for me?

I hope you don’t mind John, but I’m lifting your entire post, it’s too good to leave anything out:

Rudy Giuliani, one of the most pro-gay politicians in America, is now pulling a Mitt Romney and trying to pretend that he's really not THAT pro-gay. You see, like John McCain and Mitt Romney before him, Giuliani is busy re-inventing himself for the Republican presidential primary - an event in which only Neanderthals pass the virtues test put forward by the extreme right that now controls the Republican party. So Giuliani, a staunch defender of gay rights, is now suddenly against civil unions for gays - even though he's been for them, forever.

Sorry, Rudy. You're an adulterer. You cheated on your wife - which wife was that? - blatantly, flagrantly, publicly. And now you want us to believe that you're the great defender of marriage. You don't get the right to defend other people's marriages when you can't defend your own. How serious a moral crime is adultery, Rudy? Well, since you're doing this flip-flop in order to curry favor with America's Taliban, let's check the Bible, the King James version, to be precise (it's the version my people use), and see what God has to say about adultery:

Leviticus 20:10 And the man that committeth adultery with another man's wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbour's wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.

Hmmm... surely put to death - now, no one is suggesting that you and your lover need to be put to death, Rudy, but the Bible makes it pretty clear that adultery is a big no-no. The kind of no-no that disqualifies you from suddenly, a few years after that adultery, becoming the great moral defender of marriage.

Let me quote that Biblical passage again, Rudy, just to get it straight:

the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death

Yeah, no ambiguity there, Rudy.

In the secular world, I did a little Google search on "Giuliani" and "adultery." It turned up 125,000 results.

No ambiguity there, either.

You committed a moral crime that the Bible says is worthy of death. And now you want to turn around and sell yourself as the great purveyor of moral virtue in the very area, marriage, where you committed such a grievous offense.

It doesn't work that way, Rudy. You don't get to judge other people's marriages when you can't keep your own zipper zipped. You cheated on your wife, paraded your mistress in public, and now have the audacity to pass judgment on other people's affairs.

You're an adulterer, Rudy. You don't get that right.

Ya Rudy – what he said. Don’t even go there on the sanctity of marriage stuff – ok? There’s nothing scarier than a Seething Mom on the war path… You don’t wanna go there bud - trust me.